Private school fees- is it worth the £250k?

God, I’m happy my school didn’t do this. At least I don’t think they did…

Jane Doe- Oxford
Katie Doe- Edinburgh
NameObsessed- Priory
Ellie Doe- LSE

@riversflows Expensive doesn’t equal academic though. The private school might be less academic and more nurturing. Plus Oxbridge isn’t very keen on private school dc now. The goal posts have shifted. Their dc might not even have bothered to apply.

Our local state comprehensive got 3 pupils into Oxbridge last year. The expensive private school down the road had none. Both schools publish the destinations of sixth form leavers.

This makes a lot of sense - we are at £24k a year for two kids in prep it was £12k a year.

But can I caveat this further by saying it’s not just academics it’s whole school experience. However yes we have an excellent local comp and a grammar that would meet the needs of one one of my children not the other.

Every school is different around streaming. I would be very happy to send my children to a state school if every class was streamed.

That really depends on the private school! There are a significant number of state schools which essentially cater for those that state doesn't work out for. There are two private secondaries near us, one is exactly as you describe, the other however is about 30% SEN. I know a couple of people with DC there - they are really stretching themselves to pay for it because state has completely failed (e.g. dyslexia).

Our 3 DC are currently in state primary, two are likely to go to the local grammar. The other is very unlikely to pass (behind, probable dyslexia), and the non grammar school is bad. We are already saving, because for some children private can be the difference between finishing school at all or not.

I'm assuming you've looked round both. What were your, and his, immediate reactions to the state school? Is it oversubscribed, so that if you don't start in year 7 getting a place later would be tricky? How much time do you have to do the chauffeuring to provide some of the extras that would be provided by the school at a private school (e.g. sports)?

Not sure how it works in schools these days but when I was a kid you had streaming into 9 sets.

The idea that set 1 is going to contain kids who don't want to learn seems a bit crazy to me. In my day all the kids who wanted to fight and smash the place up were in set 9. And the better teachers (at least in terms of answering questions rather than managing behaviour etc) were always in set 1 because those kids asked the toughest questions.

Sure you had to dodge a few people in the playground, but that was probably good life experience.

Maybe these days it's all different, but I think if your kids are achievers its less of an issue than if they are say, quite quiet types and not academically gifted.

I would go with state school. I say this having done both. My 3 went prep, state and then for 6th form state school , private school, 6th form college.

I will caveat by saying that it’s a very good naice comprehensive. They have all come out with the same GCSE’s and A levels as their privately educated friends. The 2 who are old enough have done / are doing very academic degrees at Russell Group unis. The one who has finished is working in an outstanding Grad job. Their peers, from the state school are currently Big 4 accountancy trainees, at law school with magic and silver circle training contracts, at Bar School, training as actuaries, working in IB, a couple are at big pharma companies, a couple of analysts for premier league clubs, one civil service fast track and obviously a smattering of medics and vets. The ones who have gone into the usual social media marketing etc are with big well known brands.

At the time the decision was taken out of my hands re private as I couldn’t get my eldest to co-operate with 11+ prep and I didn’t think they were resilient enough for a really stop school hence the state decision. No regrets at all

Sure behaviour left plenty to be desired in years 7-9. There was no violence or anything just a fair amount of silliness and low level

messing about. However, by year 10 they knuckled down and all did well.

They now hve a 6 fig deposit each to put down on a house which I couldn’t have given them on £30k a year fees.

for everyone there’s a tipping point. What was easily manageable at £15k a year was fine at £22k a year but at £30k a year I have had to say that unless it’s a make or break situation for the child, we’ve hit the wall of sensible affordability

I think this is the best scenario. By then he will know if he is happy at the State school and stays, and if unhappy you can move him. It’s the most fair and balanced option to me.

Personal perspective - I'd say go state!
Aware this is very much based on my own experience, but my brother's and I were all privately educated and I wouldn't say we are better off than if we had been state educated. One joined the military, the rest of us are in jobs earning us between £40-£50k in our 30s.

I also was bullied horrifically in private school and the school never did anything about it. To the point my parents actually pulled me out and I went into a state school for yrs 10 & 11 and had no issues. (aware this can be an issue in state school too, but just demonstrating that paying for schooling doesn't remove this).

I'd go for a decent state and use excess money to provide extra curriculars, tuition etc.

I can confirm this was very much the case when I was in private school. A relative was actually almost expelled for selling weed and pills to the locals and other students at about 15, he didn’t get expelled and went on to be very successful, but it was certainly not drug free by any stretch.

I also knew a guy in my year that sold coke, straight out of his dad’s stash, and made an absolute fortune.

I can’t actually think of anyone in my year at school that didn’t experiment with some kind of drug, even the good kids.

I’m not saying private school isn’t worth it, in my opinion it is, but not because it’s a safe haven away from drugs, bullying and violence because it’s absolutely not. All of that happens, it just looks different and gets covered up more.

I must have gone to one of the worst state schools in the country, back in the 80s during the miner's strikes, parents had learning difficulties, so no help there either (I had a wonderful upbringing though, we were very much loved). However, even with the chaotic lessons and the violence that I observed (but never the victim of), I did really well at that school. I sailed through with amazing GCSEs, A-levels, degree and Ph.D. in a stem subject at a Russell group uni, I've had a good career in a cutting -edge tech field. I don't worry about AI taking my job, because I am one of those people who codes the stuff!

So I've never worried about the school my kids go to, I've just sent them to the local one, and same as me, they've flown through the system, doing brilliantly well. Private schools just seem like a total waste of money. You might as well throw £50 notes into a fire from what I can see of it, at least the money would keep you warm.

Definitely save the money for a house deposit instead, much more useful.

I think if you have to ask the question can you afford it or are worried about the fact that you won't be able to do other things then it is a luxury you can't really afford.

I would probably try for the best state school possible and supplement with tutors etc. And 30K pa buys you a lot of mortgage to move to an area with better schools.

I would also remember that there are going to be few people out there who say things like "I spent 500K on private schools and they were crap". Because it makes you look like an idiot.

Private schools are the educational equivalent of a gated community, basically. Keep the oiks out, and pay for the privilege.

A study announced 21 Nov 2024 from UCL (the highly regarded University College, London) shows that after adjusting for socio-economic advantage, GCSE results for state and private school pupils are a wash. Private school pupils do a bit better in creative subjects but state pupils do better in core subjects. You know which are more important.

It’s been known for a long time that given identical A level results, state school pupils get better results at university than private school pupils.

Private pupils undeniably have better access to elite universities because of various forms of social capital - particularly interview help, admissions testing preparation, etc. A switched on family can offer the same with private (and school, and publicly available) tuition and coaching, however, for a small fraction of the cost of school fees.

However there is no denying that DC’s attitude to secondary education will be the key driver of their experience. So @Tink3rbell30 asked the most important question: what do they want? To a very shy child, being with friends - at least for a while - may be important. Someone being bullied may want a fresh start. Etc

Depends if you're looking for a good return for your investment (pressure, much?) or for him to have as much of an enjoyable time as possible during his school years.

Yeah we are having a similar discussion in our house, would the money be better invested. We have also forked out private since reception, so are weighing up, if a grammar school place or private scholarship isn’t secured, do we invest what we would have spent and gift her flat when she graduates. Not paying London rent is possibly the best gift we could give: but then we think wouldn’t it be more rewarding for DD’s own hard work (albeit underpinned by lots of privilege and opportunity) to buy her the life she wants. We don’t know what we will do, but have 3 more years to kick the concept around…

Op, state 6th forms are generally extremely good. I would say if you’re going to do private yr 9-11, are the most important years. Many of the smaller / local private school offer scholarships as VAT has hit hard. My niece has just started at state 6th and is thriving and my nephew is in year 11 at private. Both started yr 7 at state, but their very good state schools has massive issues at present. Financially it’s been tough on my sis and bro-in-law, and they hadn’t planned on private schools, niece went to private school for yr 10 & 11, nephew from yr9. My niece had some tutoring in the summer holiday as their private school starts the gcse syllabus in yr 9. Dsis and bil have no regrets about their choices….even though they were both very anti private school for many years!

My DS is in Y8. Very bright but ND. He's thriving at his 'good' London state school. Behaviour is very good (he says himself he loves that they are strict as it means any low level disruption nipped in the bud before it can escalate. Most of the teaching is engaging, expectations are high and and the SEN and pastoral support (which we rely on a lot) is fantastic. He has great friends, mostly within a few minutes walk.

I don't see what more any private school could offer us - apart from the prestige and connections, I guess, but as others have said, not being super wealthy, there's a fair chance he wouldn't fit in anyway.

Unless my local state options were terrible, and/or we were very well off, I wouldn't consider private.

There are so many variables here it's impossible to give a yes/no answer to this question.

It depends on your child: their personality/aptitude/social skills
It depends on your finances and whether you can afford it without causing significant hardship to your family
It depends on what the best alternative is: in many cases the local state alternative is actually going to be better than the local private

I've put my daughter through private secondary. It has been a huge financial millstone around my neck: it's forced me to stay in a job I hate so much it makes me physically ill. I'll probably stick it out until she finishes GCSEs and then send her to state sixth form. It's a huge burden unless you are mega rich so you need to know what you are getting into.

Do I regret it? No: it's a fantastic school: it fits my daughter's personality well: she is anxious and neurodiverse and she is happy and learning well and has good friends and is not bothered by disruptive kids who prevent able kids from learning. It's worth every penny for me for her to be able to avoid the huge problems that many state secondaries local to us face in dealing with the huge wave of SEN and behavioural problems. Would I do it again? Probably, if I had another child (I don't).

But if you have a gregarious, socially able child who is good with the rough and tumble of life and who is academically able it probably isn't worth it.

You have to look at each child and each school on its merits.

Also other kids?

Could you compromise?

Try the state for 2 years and if it’s not great switch to private for year 9?

Location is important where are you located?

All of this is perfectly normal in a state secondary school. All local authorities have a music service and it's common for kids to take music lessons in state school. Chess clubs are also commonly found in state secondaries, and they all put on shows and concerts, did you imagine state schools don't have drama and music departments?!

I'm in a naice catchment in Scotland and disagree that "violence and disruption is rife" everywhere. Not our experience at all

In our case, I don't think private school would have offered value for money. But it depends hugely what the options are

Too many people have a knee jerk reaction that "private = good, state = terrible"