Private school fees- is it worth the £250k?

We live in an inheritocracy now

I bought in London with help (6 fig help) & I don’t really know any friends who bought without some form of help

We have relied on immigration from higher birth rate countries. However that will stop as even India is slightly below replacement rate (and lower for the richer areas that our immigrants come from).

We are reaching a state where all western countries will have ageing populations and also a lot of developing countries. It is unprecedented.

I come from abroad and i like it here. I did university here. But I also got settlement after 5 years and am married to a Brit and bought my flat in my 20s. Which is not usual for most immigrants. The arithmetic is totally different for immigrants settling today , the route to ILR is a lot more uncertain, and the frozen tax thresholds do not help either when comparing what you could earn in other countries. I came here in 2011 as a student and started work in 2016. The arithmetic is very different today compared to 2026. Its why a record amount of millionaires have left the UK. The ones who do not leave (like me) are those who don't see living in the UK as a purely financial proposition and who also have other ties. But in real numbers we are small and this would affect house prices going forward. Now average house is 11 times median income, I suspect they would be closer to 5 times median income currently so much more affordable for dc provided they are in good job.

We live in an inheritocracy now. Help with buying a first home tends to make far more difference than education level. And that's before we factor in what AI is likely to do to the job market

And yes wages are pretty crap here but we will likely have to do more to attract skilled migrants, keep skilled young people here.

We don't have furries in our state secondary 😂and there absolutely is vaping in private schools too.

Saying that, at my dc old primary there are a small number of girls who attend school with a clip on furry tail. This is regarded as one of the best schools in the area, very academic and traditionally very picky and strict uniform policy yet the SLT have embraced furries.

How can it be when the birth rate is below replacement

The birth rate has been below replacement for years though. I do think the housing market going forward won’t be as as it was the last few decades. Prices will stagnate & soften but interest rates are unlikely to be very low so it will still be expensive.

My flat hasn't gone up in 10 years

Flats are different to housing though.

Also my dc may need that deposit to buy a house in another country that does offer better opportunities.

@Primrose86 Lots of thst is pie in the sky. Plenty of high paying London jobs are still occupied by very highly educated dc from abroad. The world over. They do put down roots and buy. DD has many friends who have done exactly this. They like it here.

We are not building all over the London! London isn’t empty, and the green belt means housing isn’t everywhere. People actually do want high paying jobs in London and like living there. It’s all very well saying prices will come down, but even in the far flung areas of the SE, £60,000 doesn’t go that far. £250,000 makes it much easier!

Whilst this sounds like a good plan when he is a 10/11 year old, do not underestimate the influence his peer group will have and how much they change between y6 and y9. This applies to both state and private schools.
Don’t choose the school purely on the sweet, smart 10yo you have at the moment - think of the wilful, independent and easily influenced teen you will have in a few years.

ETA: this is difficult to do as it’s impossible to know who will be in his form/year group but consider the culture of the school, academic and non-academic attainment, achievements that are celebrated etc.

It really depends. We sent DS #2 to a private school y8 to y11. He is dyslexic and y7 at a local state comp was a disaster with no support and disruptive kids in class. We were worried he would disengage from education completely. It was also covid times and his school did not handle that at all well. We moved him to get the small classes and SEN support and genuinely think he would not have passed his English GCSE in particular without that. He had a great time there with loads of sport which he really needed. He is back at the local comp for 6th form now he is more mature and can take responsibility for his own learning.

DS #1 was at a state school throughout that really suited him and is happy at uni now. No issues doing it differently, they each got what they needed.

I thought my child was exaggerating but this was corroborated by several other sensible parents of older children at the school!

250k is required now because houses are seen as solid assets. My point is that it wouldnt be in the future. How can it be when the birth rate is below replacement and it would take most immigrants 10 years to get indefinite leave to remain. What sane person would want to settle long term in the country, the risk of redundancy in 10 years is higher than 5 years. Even for the more skilled immigrants who wouldn't need 10 years, uk wages are quite low compared to other western countries like Australia and America and even places like dubai with 0% tax.

So fewer immigrants and a fast declining birth rate. More houses are being built now in the SE in previously empty fields. All this point to a real terms decline in house prices. The boomers would also be long dead by then.

My flat hasn't gone up in 10 years. I dont expect it to rise in price for the next 30 years. So relative to income it should be quite cheap then if ds on decent income.

I live in leafy nw london and the local primary school in Hampstead garden suburb had kids at one point in porta cabins as there was insufficient money for extra classrooms. A school in crouch end is now relying on donations from parents to fund many of its programs as it is in a bad financial situation. My Dh's alma mater set a challenge to raise 1 million in 24 hours as they would not have survived financially otherwise (they are the top state comprehensive in england as ranked by the times in 2026) and they did manage to raise that.. the state school i was looking to send my child to now insists on a 'voluntary' donation of £150 per month to fund religious education, which is a long standing policy for faith schools but the fact they suggest such an amount for a school where most families have at least 3 is indicative.

What does this do to the mental health of children as they grow up to feel like the state doesn't care about them. What does it do to their confidence to feel like their government doesn't care about them enough to fund their schools, and it will be evident to young children, even they will notice the many repairs the school is delaying. I went to an open day for a local state school (the one charging £150 per month, it is ranked no 15 in the league tables), one of the classrooms smelt like a toilet.

I feel it every time I interact with the NHS. It's why we have private healthcare (though this is funded through DH's work). My worry is this will only get worse.

@Tamtimas someone who went to private schools I disagree with this. The main thing is opportunities and smaller class sizes, but I’d say the ‘connections’ are mainly from the families! Little Timmy wants to be a banker, well daddy has been a banker all his life and can get him an in after he graduates (or one of daddy’s friends can)… I’ve seen it time and time again! Those of us who didn’t have a trust fund or super rich parents had to graft a lot harder than those you did. I still get comments like ‘won’t your parents just buy you a house/give you money/help you out.’ I think a big negative of private schools is that most people are delululu about the real world! To the point I find it quite cringeworthy! I have a lot of very successful friends who went to state school and my daughter herself goes to an incredible state school! Private school is a good option if all the state schools in your local are bad. where I live houses are incredibly expensive, so I live in a nice flat instead. I’d much rather have a child that was well-rounded and in touch with the real world, than money orientated and scared of anyone that went to state school!

Tbh when reform are voted in 2029 is also the same year my baby starts school. Their policy is to teach children that the British empire was a force of good. I dont really want my mixed race son to go to school learning that. Independent schools don't need to follow the national curriculum, I am eyeing a prep school with an ethnically diverse population..

The biggest predictor of educational outcomes is parental wealth and education levels, not the school a child goes to.

The majority of students at elite universities attended state secondary schools. Private schools are over represented Vs the proportion of children they teach but there is absolutely no reason why your child can't make it to an elite university from a state school as thousands do.

Having no student debt and a house deposit and perhaps a significant contribution to a pension pot at 25 is far more financially beneficial over a lifetime than spending it on a school with lovely sports facilities and a nice chapel with only marginal improvement in eventual exam results.

Spend some of it on extra curricular hobbies, activities, experiences etc - he doesn't need to do that all in school, specialist providers/clubs can be far better as focused on it.

@Primrose86 You do know that there still are jobs available don’t you? It’s not as if dc won’t get anything that pays well if they really want it. Not all SMEs will be closing and grads of a decent calibre will still get good jobs. So of course a house deposit is worth it, we gave multiples of £60,000 though. Plus our dc could not do their jobs from where we live. They needed to be in London.

My dc were privately educated and I know the benefits. But if you want to buy in London now, £60,000 deposit for a flat isn’t much. £250,000 makes a dent. It’s not as if a state education prevents anything from happening in terms of work.

@OhShutUpThomasare you actually kidding me about this ‘furries’ nonsense? That’s wild! You wouldn’t be allowed to do that in the workplace so wtf would you be allowed to act like that in class? The world has gone mad ( and I used to consider myself a leftie)

This.

We have one in state secondary. Sporty, academic, sociable child who I think would thrive anywhere. He can’t stand the wokeness/vaping in the loos/terrible discipline (too strict for the good kids and waaaay too lax for the disruptive kids). Some of the wokeness is just mental - kids who are ‘furries’ for instance get to growl and miaow in lessons and use a different loo, but if anyone comments they get detention. It is nuts. DC won’t move though as has a great group of friends there.

We also have one in private secondary. This DC would NOT cope well in the state school after past bullying and some learning difficulties, but is absolutely thriving in the lovely, kind, sensible private school. There are no real behaviour problems and no bullying.

We have another in a good state primary, but they will be going to the private secondary if I have to sell all I own to do it.

Would it be an asset though? In a country with a declining economy, low birth rate and in a world where the birth rate is also declining (fewer potential immigrants).

All that points to housing that is declining in value in real terms. What will prevent our children from buying housing in the future wouldnt be the cost but the ability to support a mortgage aka stay in long term paid professional employment. The latter would depend on one's personal qualities.

Could he go private at age 14?

What is his ultimate job?

What good is a house deposit if there is no long terms earnings trajectory? Dh and I paid zero rent for 3 years in our 20s, we saved 60k plus 10k dh already had. We had a decent 15% deposit which is probably similar to a lot of gifted deposits from parents who didn't live in london (didnt have the ability to provide rent free accommodation near work). But that deposit would have been useless if we didnt have the ability to sustain our earnings as that involved taking out a relatively large mortgage.

Our dc are going to live in a world where good jobs would be few and far between but there would be too many homes relative to people as the boomers would have long died off and the birth rate is 1.4 (and fast declining in the countries we have long imported our labour from). The future problem wouldn't be the price of homes but the ability to launch a sustainably well paid career. There is no magic solution to this whether its state or private school, but for me I believe smaller class sizes and a more tailored approach would facilitate his personal development. Ultimately money can be taken away from you but personal qualities can't. My v wealthy parents cut me off when I eloped at 22 (i never got gifted a deposit, bought in london at 26) but what they could never take from me is my education.

A bright child will do well wherever they are. The main thing a child might get from a good private school is connections. If it’s a one or the other - paying for private school versus a house deposit, I’d save/invest the money for a solid asset.

That was my point. The fees would mean we'd have to make savings elsewhere and, on balance, I don't think school fees are the best use of the money for our DC.

It's a bit much to suggest anyone who has to budget for private school simply can't afford it though. Plenty of people I know with kids at private school are making sacrifices to pay for it for various reasons and it's worth it to them.

@Swissmeringue Lots of people do all of that and more and pay school fees. It’s not either or and frankly, if it is, you cannot afford private all the way through. If you only have money for fees and that means you don’t go to California or have house deposits for dc, you don’t have enough money available. So holidays it is - they are definitely cheaper !