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AIBU?

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Friend leaving me whilst on holiday

283 replies

roastdinner346 · 16/02/2026 01:47

So me and my friend went away for a weekend break (Friday to Monday), for an early celebration for my 40th birthday next week.
Its the first time I've ever been anywhere with anyone else apart from my family.
A few things really got to me.
Firstly was she rolled her eyes and gave me looks when I said I was hungry. She's on weightloss jabs, and has no appetite at all, and can only manage a few mouthfuls, which is completely fine, but that doesn't mean I don't get hungry 🙈
The next thing was that I wanted to take a pebble off the beach for my niece, who collects them from various places.
She didn't agree with this, and we were paying for something in a shop and she went on about me taking the tiny pebble, saying that it should be left there, and said it so loudly all the other people in the shop could hear. It just made me feel really small.
Then last evening in the entertainment lounge, she started talking to a family next to us. Which again, isn't a problem, but I'm left on the end, left out of the conversation, and because I'm slightly deaf, I had no idea what they were saying to even join in.
She asked me to get drinks, which I did, and then I turns out she had told them that I'm introverted and that I hate people. So god knows what these people must have thought about me.
I will happily speak to people, if I'm included.
Then today we were supposed to be going for a walk to the other side of the sea front.
I needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.
At that point I got really upset. She knew I wanted to go. I'd had enough and just wanted to go home. I didnt want to share a room, or pretend I was ok any more, it was exhausting, so I got a family member to kindly pick me up and take me home.
For the whole weekend it felt like it was just an excuse for her to take endless selfies, not once did she ask to get one of both of us. I just wondered why I was even there.
Am I overreacting for being upset about all of this?

OP posts:
Catladywithacat · 16/02/2026 03:07

She’s awful

Soashamed60 · 16/02/2026 02:36

JemimaTiggywinkles · 16/02/2026 02:20

This sounds like different expectations tbh.

I’m not on weight loss jabs but don’t want my holidays to revolve around food. I’ve a couple of friends who get hungry every 5 minutes and it is annoying when I’m someone who only eats at meal times.

Taking pebbles off beaches is wrong. I thought everyone knew this? She shouldn’t have said anything in front of other people tho.

I don’t like chatting to strangers and do sometimes feel like I’m being left out if the other person is sociable with randoms. But I think that’s my issue tbh. How do you know she said you’re introverted / hate people? I can’t imagine how that would come up, but I’d be incredibly hurt if a friend said that about me.

The toilet thing entirely depends. If this was the first time you faff when you’re supposed to be doing something then she’s completely unreasonable. But if you’re a faffer and she’d just got fed up of waiting around for you then it’s fair enough for her to go alone.

Did you say anything to her before getting picked up? Cos if not I think you’ve just ended the friendship. Which is a bit sad if you were close enough to go away together.

Are you the friend op left behind? Jesus, not one ounce of sympathy for her & you seem to be putting the blame on op. She is allowed to go to the loo just before heading out, you can't help when you want to go! And because the friend is on weightloss jabs she's perhaps not hungry too much at all during the day. Op is not on wli & is entitled to eat normally. "Friend" sounds selfish.

Nimblethimble · 16/02/2026 02:32

Food - YANBU

Removing pebble - YABU

Socialising - YANBU

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/02/2026 02:24

Going on holiday with someone can really highlight the differences between you. I'm sorry you've had such a rubbish weekend.

Could you not have gone on the sea front walk on your own, however? Maybe meeting up halfway and finishing the walk together? Is your friend aware of your hearing loss or do you usually manage to mask it?

Bananainpyjamas1980 · 16/02/2026 02:22

I had a friend like that, took me 25 years to realise she was just manipulating me and using coercive behaviour.
Life is peaceful without her so distance yourself and thank God you have seen this in time to shut it down. That is no friend!

JemimaTiggywinkles · 16/02/2026 02:20

This sounds like different expectations tbh.

I’m not on weight loss jabs but don’t want my holidays to revolve around food. I’ve a couple of friends who get hungry every 5 minutes and it is annoying when I’m someone who only eats at meal times.

Taking pebbles off beaches is wrong. I thought everyone knew this? She shouldn’t have said anything in front of other people tho.

I don’t like chatting to strangers and do sometimes feel like I’m being left out if the other person is sociable with randoms. But I think that’s my issue tbh. How do you know she said you’re introverted / hate people? I can’t imagine how that would come up, but I’d be incredibly hurt if a friend said that about me.

The toilet thing entirely depends. If this was the first time you faff when you’re supposed to be doing something then she’s completely unreasonable. But if you’re a faffer and she’d just got fed up of waiting around for you then it’s fair enough for her to go alone.

Did you say anything to her before getting picked up? Cos if not I think you’ve just ended the friendship. Which is a bit sad if you were close enough to go away together.

Bearbookagainandagain · 16/02/2026 02:07

I can understand that for some, going on holiday with a friend can be very irritating. Often it's just little things that add up, and you don't expect with a friend so takes everyone by surprise.

It doesn't justify her behaviour though at all though! You did the right thing leaving.
Did she say anything afterwards?

Cardinalita90 · 16/02/2026 02:01

Not overreacting, she sounds like a cow. There's no shame for you in any of the examples you gave.

Why did she even come if she dislikes you so much?! Were you paying?

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