Division of responsibilities

As already covered
do you have same leisure time for yourselves
do you have the same financial freedoms and assets ( houses, pensions)
do you have the same stresses? His might be work stress, yours might be dealing with 3 sick kids
then you are both equal in the relationship

the other aspect that can be hard to achieve in a set up like this is him having quality time with the kids. For their relationship building though, not because it’s unfair on you.

but on the whole you seem to be doing well as a team

Honestly OP this sounds great to me. We only have one, would like to try for another later this year. DH works 2.5 jobs from home, very flexible but obv long hours, usually overnight. He cooks dinner (before I recently went back to work I'd often try and make the main dinner thing during the day to help out), he does most of the cleaning. I do almost all baby care (he'll occasionally take him for a bit and used to do night nappy changes), simple stuff like the dishwasher, make all baby's food from scratch, appointments etc, odd bit of laundry but DH is happy doing it.

It can get hard like recently where both baby and I had a bad cold and he only wanted to sleep on me but was also up basically all night, particularly badly two nights in a row, and I couldn't get any relief until I dropped him at nursery.

I think as PP have suggested, think about it in terms of equal free time. If your DH doesn't have much, it's hard to ask more of him but a different story if you're struggling. If he's paid off the mortgage though do you need or want to still work part time? Could he pay into a pension for you?

That certainly wasn’t the point of my post, to make you feel bad. I was simply raising the point that all references to parenting made it seem like it’s a total chore, rather than something to take enjoyment from. I didn’t say you didn’t enjoy it, just that any mention of it was missing and I was particularly struck by that I felt it worth mentioning that there’s a lot of enjoyment to be had with a young family. No high horse, lol.

I have a very similar set up, but I say to my husband he needs to do more child related stuff- not to relieve me but to be aware of them. He needs to do there bit of homework or reading, bedtime stories sometimes so he can know what they're up to. He basically needs to give them more time at the weekend for the sake of their relationship as opposed to provide childcare. So I make sure he gets the nicer bits when we split things. He also needs to be able to manage all three of them out. Get them to help tidy up after themselves sometimes and general parenting. Sometimes I will say I know you're knackered but they havnt seen you in 4 days - go do a quick story each or whatever it is. So there's an additional lens to look through. I don't need the break but they need to have two parents not just one.

I’m a sole parent to twin 5-year olds. I work a senior, stressful role, mostly finishing at 7pm.
As soon as I finish work, I still need to do the whole nighttime routine with the kids - homework, bath, story, cuddles, bed, make kids lunches for the next day, laundry, prepare school uniform, meal prep for next day’s dinner, etc. Also fit in a kids hobby one night (when I finish at 6:30pm) and many other kids hobbies at the weekend.

So technically, he could do more. But since you’ve two free days, it’s fairer than you do more.

I could be very wrong but I am starting to wonder if the op has a actually the husband and his wife has come to him saying she is not happy with current set up so has posted on here from his perspective so he can ‘prove’ to his wife that she is in the wrong and should be chuffed with how things are

I think this is often a good way to approach things. Both partners should have similar time and money to pursue activities and leisure that are important to you.

Sometimes this can be a bit tricky to navigate when you work in very differernt kinds of scheduals, I know when my dh was working 6 months away in a remote job, and I was a SAHM, it was tricky, he had "time to himself" away but not quite like real time, and I had time through the day and such in odd lots, but not like being really on my own time. So when he was home we were both wanting time to just chill, plus accomplish things that required us both home.

I would say the main thing is you need to keep checking in, if you'd like to change up chore distribution, talk about it and what it would really look like. Don't forget stuff that he does that may be less visible, like taking care of cars. And sometimes you don't need the other person to take on more, you may need an exchange. Try to be flexible and listen to each other.

At no point in this post has parenting been seen as anything but a chore. Nothing to enjoy? Whilst I was working part-time, I used my “free hours” to ensure weekends were mainly free to spend time with the kids. Even taking kids to an activity involved socialising with other parents and getting involved in the clubs, providing down time from full on jobs

I think there are too many unanswered questions on this thread for it to be clear if you really are ‘living the dream’ op.

I run my own business from home it’s quite full on & I never really switch off. It would equate to full time hours! It’s not easy and sometimes I do resent DH for his lack of child/ house help but it does work for us the majority of the time.

Yes you are really living the dream!
You have two days a week to yourself. What exactly are all these jobs you do? Maybe list them and people can help you schedule the week.
I would suggest the childfree days you use to batch cook and meal plan so the days you work you have something quick and easy to hand for dinner.
Bigger cleaning tasks can also be done on these days.
The days you work the focus would purely be on eating and getting kids to bed.