Am I right to feel hurt over those comments ???

I guessed it was an auto-correct and should have been "enjoyed the wine".

@BeNimblePeachDuck I can't imagine a man turning me down for something. Im vanilla but love oral sex. on me hate giving it but reciprocate
I can't imagine what your issue was but I am intrigued!

Ok, that's not okay. Mentioning the word 'whore' as if you wanting to do that makes you one is really really not okay. I think you need to tell him how you feel rather than bottle it up.

No hands up - I admit I didn't clock that! Apologies, and completely agree with you. Position suggestion is a totally normal thing.
Personally I would usually bring up any new sex stuff outside of the bedroom just to avoid pressure/ruining the moment (eg, "I was thinking it would be fun if some time we tried X") but to be clear that is no excuse at all for his awful reaction.

I think sone people are seeing the OP's predicament as one of How do I get my DH to try X during sex.
That's not the problem.
The real issue is the husband's refusal by saying, "I'm not doing to degrade my wife by doing that."and telling her, "You're not a whore" for suggesting it.
They've been together over 10 years and before kids they did have an experimental sex life together.

So what has happened?
Religion?
Does DH have a porn habit so he associates various sex acts with porn?
There has to be something.

Oh yeah. That's definitely an over reaction. He could just have said he didn't fancy it. No need to disparage you. Have you discussed it again? Have you told him how you feel?

His language was choice, I suppose it was an instant reaction.

Sometimes you can do new things by introducing them subtly and gradually, so that they just happen.

I'm intrigued by what 'enjoyed the phone" means.

My two thoughts at this point: it's completely irrelevant what the OP suggested they do. There's no sliding scale of sexual activity that someone should want to do/want to avoid.

Second, unless there is something lost in translation here, the OP's H called her a whore, which sounds like the tip of a troubling iceberg to me.

It’s impossible to say without knowing what you asked for.

He’s clearly had a strong reaction to whatever it was. It’s rather refreshing to read about a man that doesn’t want to degrade his wife considering how many men want to beat, strangle, and piss on women to get their jollies because they’ve seen it in porn.

Of course we can admonish the husband because regardless of what she asked for he shouldn't be calling her degrading names (including whore) and shaming her.

We don't have full context to comment on the whore part. As said in a post above did the OP bring that word into the conversation first

Not suggesting your husband is cheating op - just pointing out that some men struggle with their wives being sexual.

Madonna whore complex - my ex was like this. Turns out he was getting the interesting stuff from someone else, but didn’t respect her enough to actually have a relationship with her. I was the “suitable” partner but sex between us was boring.

I think we're all curious what it is! 👀
I don't think he should have said "degrading his wife" as clearly you don't see it that way if you're the one asking for it. But I would just put it down to something he isn't into and move on to something else. It sounds like you have a very active and healthy sex life overall with him.

Has nobody actually read the line in the post where the OP says it was simply ‘a different position’ she suggested that prompted him to accuse her of degrading herself?

Not a sex act. Not a kink.

A position.

There is no sexual position that degrades anyone. There’s nothing degrading about wanting sex in a position that gets you off.

It shouldn’t happen. But you know what else shouldn’t happen? A man shaming a woman and accusing her being degrading for suggesting ‘a different position’.

He doesn’t have to do things he doesn’t enjoy, but he clearly doesn’t care about her pleasure and her makes her feel awful for suggesting things.

NOT ok to say that or belittle you. Sorry OP. I hope you can have a conversation when things are calmed down (I mean him of course) and find out why he reacted so strongly.

Yes quite, I'm afraid it is relevant what you asked. Although the "whore" comment sounds very off.

Also what does "he enjoyed the phone" mean in your first para? Completely irrelevant but I am confused!

The OP says in her opening post that she simply suggested ‘a different position’.

Also, even if she did want to be talked dirty to, that still wouldn’t imply that she didn’t respect herself.

I would have a chat outside of the bedroom. Explain how he makes you feel. I would also ask why he thinks certain things are degrading? I am guessing you weren’t asking him to urinate on you!!!! Of course he is allowed to say no and you clearly respect that. But there is no reason he has to upset you and make you ashamed for wanting to try new things sexually.

It doesn’t matter what it was she suggested. He still doesn’t have the right to make her feel bad about it or to suggest that it was degrading or disgusting.

All he needed to do was say that whatever it was she suggested wasn’t something he was comfortable with.

Calling you a whore for wanting to try a different sexual position is unacceptable.

A conversation needs to be had.

What a tosser.

Maybe the OP asked to be 'talked dirty to' or said 'treat me like a whore'..

You can't admonish the Hubie - when we don't know what was asked for

You are absolutely right to be hurt by comments like that. He’s deliberately making you feel ashamed of your sexuality. If he doesn’t want to do something, that’s fine - he shouldn’t be doing anything he isn’t comfortable with - but implying that the things you want are disgusting and suggesting you’d have to be ‘a whore’ to enjoy them is absolutely awful. It’s a really misogynistic attitude towards women and their desires.

Is your husband very religious, by any chance?

I think you should have a conversation with him about your sex life and areas you will like to improve or explore.

We went though dry spells where sex became a chore and I remember we watched quite a few YouTube videos talking about how to improve sex life and new things to try etc and we enjoyed it together.

This way we to both decided what we were comfortable trying and what we didn't want to try.

You haven't given much details on what your asked for or if your 5 times a week is just straight up missionary wam bam and move on.

His reaction might also be shame that maybe you don't think he satisfies you but as a married couple I would expect both of you to be able to discuss such issue without shutting down or shaming your spouse.my biggest issue is not that he didn't want to try, it's the way he shut it down angrily, a wife should be safe to speak about such things to her husband and vice versa. Is he religious or are there cultural aspects

And when you say 5 times a week is that 5 times or amazing sex where you both mutually enjoy it or 5 times or him just stuck it in vanilla till he finishes and rolls off?