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Original poster

Help me deter neighbours

292 replies

Claytonclogs · 15/02/2026 20:29

I have miserable neighbours. One woman coordinates with another neighbour to make sure that I can’t get my car in the drive most days of the week. My house is at the end of a very narrow dead end track and one of them parks their car opposite my drive each day after I’ve left for work preventing me turning in. Every day, the same charade - I go and ask them to move and maybe they do or maybe they don’t do it for a few hours. They both have drives and garages. They’ve had it in for me since I put in planning application for loft conversion. It was approved easily, it’s legal and was built considerately. I don’t overlook their properties or gardens from the loft.

Confronting doesn’t work, trying to diffuse doesn’t work, and I’m not interested in stuff like blocking their cars in retaliation. I don’t want to go down legal routes because don’t want formal disputes with the neighbours.

So … my goal is to appear so bizarre and wildly unhinged that they will think twice about blocking my drive or taking any action that might lead to an interaction with me. Creative and (legal) suggestions welcome!

OP posts:
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MsGreying · 16/02/2026 16:12

Agrumpyknitter · 15/02/2026 21:15

I would go down the weirdo route. Get the sage out and burn it near their cars and entrances to their drives. Tell them you have seen some spirits around their houses and that spirits are attracted to bad feelings/ bad karma and keep crossing yourself when you pass their houses.

This and some Tibetan dragon tingsha bells to ting ting as you walk around.

DifferentNameForQuestion · 16/02/2026 15:17

Clementine12 · 15/02/2026 20:42

I wouldn’t go in the drive. Leave your car in front of their’s. So they have to come and ask you to move yours. Then they will get fed up!

This.

When asked to move say "I'd park in my driveway and save you having to ask me to move if I could access it" oh well....they'll get bored asking you to move

chgaus · 16/02/2026 15:13

Hire the biggest burliest bodyguard type to knock on their door and politely ask them to move. Will only work if they have husbands. Women bully women because they don’t see a physical threat (amongst other reasons). Now that you’re ‘dating’ Jason Momoa the husbands might be inclined to request the wives are more reasonable.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 16/02/2026 14:16

ReprogramNeeded · 15/02/2026 21:03

I would stop playing along. Go one morning (not when the car is parked there) to each door and say to them you've noticed they keep parking in a way that stops you getting to your home. Ask them why they are doing it. Ask them if it's because they objected to your development work. Let them know they've made their point, but you're not prepared to put up with it any more so are they prepared to draw a line?

They might sulkily stop. Or you might need to start blocking them in. When they ask you to move, remind them of the conversation and ask again if they are ready to leave it behind.

I'd be brave and do this. If I was petty I'd spinkle their car with birdseed.

Netcurtainnelly · 16/02/2026 13:41

itsneverdullinull · 15/02/2026 21:09

Borrow a nice large slightly awkward vehicle (caravan, horse box, transit van) and leave it parked just close enough to, but not over, their drive that it’s hard for them to get out. It’s petty but so are they.

Oh yes easier said than done, people know people who have got all these things just like. Also but an old car lol. What about the tax as well.

MeghansToes · 16/02/2026 13:15

Buy some frozen mice that people buy for pet snakes. Defrost and leave on their bonnet.

StormyLandCloud · 16/02/2026 12:36

Think I need a picture to help me see how they block you .. personally I’d block the exit completely if possible, sod them, if they’re being awkward I’m sure you can ramp it up!

frozendaisy · 16/02/2026 12:19

Can you apply to extend your dropped curb?

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 16/02/2026 12:17

Divide and conquer?

Be really lovely to one of the neighbours - smiling - dropping off cakes and cards and flowers.

Be mean to the other. Only block her drive. Report her - anything

JohnofWessex · 16/02/2026 12:16

As its a private road I might start by looking at your deeds/whatever that govern the use of the track and see if they are breaching any of the conditions

Whattodo1610 · 16/02/2026 12:10

PrettyDamnCosmic · 16/02/2026 12:01

The OP said that it's a private road owned by all the neighbours so no need to worry about parking a car there without tax MOT or insurance.

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I’d be very surprised if this road was such a road that cars are exempt from any rules or regulations 🤔
If that is the case, then presumably OP can do anything she likes to the car that’s bothering her? .. tow it, jack it and move it, block it in completely etc. As she’s none of this, then my guess is it’s not a private road in that sense 🤷‍♀️

PrettyDamnCosmic · 16/02/2026 12:01

Whattodo1610 · 16/02/2026 11:27

Those saying buy an old banger .. you do realise this still needs to be taxed, mot’d and insured not exactly cheap, nor doable for most people.

The OP said that it's a private road owned by all the neighbours so no need to worry about parking a car there without tax MOT or insurance.

ScupperedbytheSea · 16/02/2026 11:56

I'd block them in, and find another mode of transport for a while. Even if it meant hiring a car for a week (park the replacement car a little way away, so they just see you leaving/returning on foot, which should confuse them).

When they come over to ask you to move, tell them your car's broken down, so you've made 'other arrangements' for now. Nice and vague.

Tell them not to worry, as you're hoping to get someone out to take a look 'soonish' as it's becoming increasingly volatile and you never know when it'll start nowadays.

Summerhillsquare · 16/02/2026 11:52

BlackCatDiscoClub · 15/02/2026 21:15

Do your normal things, but dressed as a lion. Water the garden. Put the bins out. Even leaving for work, get into the car as a lion. When it gets warmer, have a nice cup of tea in the front garden dressed as a lion. Very, very occasionally, stare out of a top window in your home dressed as a lion. Maybe at the moon, maybe at the birds. Who knows. You are a lion.

This has made me snort my tea laughing, thank you.

DrPrunesqualer · 16/02/2026 11:41

If it’s a private road
and if you pay a yearly sum towards maintenance
don’t pay until the neighbour stops blocking it

BountifulPantry · 16/02/2026 11:33

Can you ask a burly friend or family member to accompany you one day and look menacing?

Bullies sometimes only respond to their own language I’m afraid. Not saying any threats should be made but a massive man might make them think twice.

Additionally start documenting and filming their conduct and discuss with 111. You could also use this to take to a solicitor to write a menacing letter.

Whattodo1610 · 16/02/2026 11:27

Those saying buy an old banger .. you do realise this still needs to be taxed, mot’d and insured not exactly cheap, nor doable for most people.

tommyhoundmum · 16/02/2026 11:23

MangoPancake · 15/02/2026 20:57

This is a brilliant idea!

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But they may escalate

olderandwiser83 · 16/02/2026 11:19

You say you knock on their door to ask them each time to move - why not be a bit unhinged when you do that? Act like one of those oblivious people who has no self-awareness / thinks everyone likes them and keep jabbering away at them about nonsensical or annoying topics without letting them really get in a word edgewise. Spice it up further with having slightly wide eyes so you look a little nutty / crazy, but be friendly. Start waving to them emphatically when you see them unrelated to the parking situation like you are BFF

Maybe they'll stop parking there to avoid having you knock at their door every time.

AnAppleAWeek · 16/02/2026 11:16

Buy a cheap banger of a car, park it so it blocks them in then go on a two week holiday!

NotMeAtAll · 16/02/2026 11:00

Draw a pentagram with lipstick on her windscreen. Make a birds nest with an egg shell filled with hair and blood. Leave it outside her door.

ThisHazelPombear · 16/02/2026 10:58

Preach the gospel to them every time

FordExplorer · 16/02/2026 10:49

Get a massive planter or better yet, a boulder/ton bag of gravel/something equally heavy enough that they can’t easily move it but you can still get past 👌🏻

OneNewEagle · 16/02/2026 10:28

I have a tad annoying neighbour opposite, also very rude as he’s refused to talk to me since I moved in. Repairing never ending cars on his drive which is all I see from my house. Plus putting the non legal cars in the road and so on.

I’ve ignored for seven years but last autumn he took the p* as I had parked in the road to get something out of our garage on to the drive. he came over to tell me he’s my neighbour and he needs me to move my car as in the morning he has to get a trailer and car off of the drive.

So after that my plan, partner says I can’t as we have a nice neighbour and it’s not fair on her, is to park a road worthy tatty car there for a year. I will then look at said car instead of him.

OneNewEagle · 16/02/2026 10:24

Park across your drive.

my wonder uncle when he was alive had parking wars. He would have tons of tips for you. But the easiest one is to buy an old banger, one that looks bad too, and just park it there indefinitely for 6 months. Make sure they have a view of tatty old car.

If you move it and it starts again put it back. The good things about old bangers is they don’t always start so can just say won’t work can’t move it.