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AIBU?

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Measles, vaccines & friendships

64 replies

Measley · 15/02/2026 16:07

Following on from the news of the London measles outbreak.

I put my foot in it. Shared it with an anti-vaxxer friend. Genuinely was worried and I know she doesn't read the news so didn't think she would know.

I tried to explain that I was just worried and care about her son. She took that as me saying she doesn't care about him which isn't the case at all. I know she cares and I know she thinks she's protecting him by not vaccinating.

I have listened to her views and researched each point carefully and can see they are all very easily debunked by science and stats.

I didn't expect us to not be able to discuss it like that.

I'm sensitive and easily triggered due to losses.

I feel so sad about what's come between us and am happy just to let it go but I don't know if she will be. Any advice?

OP posts:
Thechaseison71 · 16/02/2026 18:03

Nodealordeal · 16/02/2026 18:00

Not just less likely. Much much much MUCH less likely. The UK was almost measles free due to vaccinations. That’s how effective the vaccine is. Now it’s not. We have lots of outbreaks. And the outbreaks are not due to the vaccinated children.

Was I arguing about any of that? I basically stated the vaccines don't work for everyone. Good job mumsnet wasn't about when I lost half my hearing due to measles. My poor parents would've probably been accused of being anti vax and dreadful and didn't give a shit lol

Nodealordeal · 16/02/2026 18:00

Thechaseison71 · 16/02/2026 17:53

Same as vaccinated kids although it's less likely

Not just less likely. Much much much MUCH less likely. The UK was almost measles free due to vaccinations. That’s how effective the vaccine is. Now it’s not. We have lots of outbreaks. And the outbreaks are not due to the vaccinated children.

Ninerainbows · 16/02/2026 17:59

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/02/2026 17:50

Honestly if she’s an antivaxxer she is probably isn’t worth wasting your energy on.

These people don’t have the necessary intelligence to process this information and they will counter anything you say with “research” of dubious provenance.

I agree. Don't bother discussing it. You will never change her mind!

Fodencat · 16/02/2026 17:57

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/02/2026 17:50

Honestly if she’s an antivaxxer she is probably isn’t worth wasting your energy on.

These people don’t have the necessary intelligence to process this information and they will counter anything you say with “research” of dubious provenance.

Well said and now they’re putting other little ones at risk. Arsehole

Tiramisutoyou · 16/02/2026 17:57

BollyMolly · 15/02/2026 17:55

Maybe mind your own business about things that have nothing to do with you and respect other people’s views if you want them to remain friends with you.

It’s all our business if people want their kids to endanger other children, children who can’t be vaccinated, people with cancer ect

Tiramisutoyou · 16/02/2026 17:55

Tekknonan · 15/02/2026 17:53

She's an idiot. Her child could die from measles or be permanently damaged. He could also spread measles to those children who genuinely can't be vaccinated. She's being selfish and stupid, and there's no reason to protect her feelings.

This

ahe doesn’t care as much as she shouldn’t to let nonsense get in the way of her responsibilities

Pigletin · 16/02/2026 17:55

BollyMolly · 15/02/2026 17:55

Maybe mind your own business about things that have nothing to do with you and respect other people’s views if you want them to remain friends with you.

My kids are vaccinated but I also agree with this. Not your problem.

Grecia2000 · 16/02/2026 17:55

She’s a dickhead

Thechaseison71 · 16/02/2026 17:53

Tekknonan · 15/02/2026 17:53

She's an idiot. Her child could die from measles or be permanently damaged. He could also spread measles to those children who genuinely can't be vaccinated. She's being selfish and stupid, and there's no reason to protect her feelings.

Same as vaccinated kids although it's less likely

Tekknonan · 16/02/2026 17:51

BollyMolly · 15/02/2026 17:55

Maybe mind your own business about things that have nothing to do with you and respect other people’s views if you want them to remain friends with you.

Yes, let's all be tolerant about people who are careless of the safety of their own children and the children of others because they have 'done their own research' and are, basically, stupid. It's like saying 'Oh, it's their choice' about parents who encourage their children to play on busy main roads. Measles is nasty, too often lethal and far too often permanently disabling.

BollyMolly · 15/02/2026 17:55

Maybe mind your own business about things that have nothing to do with you and respect other people’s views if you want them to remain friends with you.

Tekknonan · 15/02/2026 17:53

She's an idiot. Her child could die from measles or be permanently damaged. He could also spread measles to those children who genuinely can't be vaccinated. She's being selfish and stupid, and there's no reason to protect her feelings.

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/02/2026 17:50

Honestly if she’s an antivaxxer she is probably isn’t worth wasting your energy on.

These people don’t have the necessary intelligence to process this information and they will counter anything you say with “research” of dubious provenance.

FoamShrimps · 15/02/2026 16:09

if you’re happy to let it go send a message saying you didn’t meant to hurt her feelings, sorry you brought it up or whatever then the ball is in her court.