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Original poster

DH running with dd(8) at 5am

212 replies

foreveror · 15/02/2026 15:36

Dh has always got up everyday at 5am to go for a run. No problem, it briefly wakes me up but he doesn’t turn the light on or make noise so I fall straight back to sleep.

Last couple of weeks he’s started taking 8 year old dd with him and it’s annoying me so much.

He tries to keep her quiet and get her down the stairs and out the door without waking anyone but it’s just so much louder having an 8 year old up and awake. Younger dc are sometimes waking up and coming into me.

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly, I don’t worry about her when she’s out with him in the day but it just feels different knowing she’s not in bed.

She’s very slim and does dance, gymnastics, football and skating every week so definitely doesn’t need the exercise. It’s just seems so unnecessary.

She tripped the other morning and came back in his arms in tears screaming she’d broke her ankle. She was fine, she’s just really dramatic but it made us all late for school. I know it wasn’t his fault but I couldn’t help feeling like it was as it wouldn’t have happened if he had just left her in bed.

I’m being completely unreasonable aren’t I? Would anyone else be annoyed by this?

OP posts:
Patchworkquilts · 15/02/2026 16:17

foreveror · 15/02/2026 16:03

They are ‘quiet’. DH shushes her if she tries to speak while upstairs, he makes sure all her running stuff is downstairs ready, makes her use the downstairs toilet, closes doors quietly.

There’s not really anything more they could do to be quieter, there always going to be some noise, It’s just knowing she’s up and awake that wakes me up.

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this really is a you problem. As you said, you know she’s safe.

Coconutter24 · 15/02/2026 16:17

Why are people caught up on the fact she’s getting up at 5? She does her run, goes to school, comes home and is in bed by 7:30/8. I don’t see the issue with the time.
The only issue is the disturbance (unless she’s really tired and grumpy by tea time?)

FaintingGoats · 15/02/2026 16:14

sittingonabeach · 15/02/2026 16:12

Need to be mindful of issues like Osgood-Schlatter disease

Best give her an iPad instead 🙄

I’m sure she will be absolutely fine. Just tell her to keep it down. It doesn’t need to be thought to death.

Sidebeforeself · 15/02/2026 16:14

Barrenfieldoffucks · 15/02/2026 15:59

Does he have to wake her to take her?

What do you mean? She is running too. Or do you mean is she already awake? Im not sure what difference it makes.

OP if your girl is happy and isn’t falling asleep in school etc I dont see what the problem is.

sittingonabeach · 15/02/2026 16:12

Need to be mindful of issues like Osgood-Schlatter disease

FaintingGoats · 15/02/2026 16:11

I cannot actually believe there are people saying this is a bad idea.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/02/2026 16:11

foreveror · 15/02/2026 15:47

Yes, it was her idea.

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In which case, yes, you really are being unreasonable, it almost sounds like you're envious of their special father/daughter time with a shared interest and from which you feel excluded. Does you have similar shared interest time with your DD?

Rockstick · 15/02/2026 16:10

An 8yo is going running every day at 5am before school?

So many questions.

Why? Does she want to, or does he think she needs to/it's goodnfor her?
Is she having to be woken to go?
How does she cope with the rest of the day?
How far are they running? No-one should be running everyday, not even elite athletes. Why would you don't hate to an 8yo?

Regardless, there needs to be a rule that if she can't go quietly she can't go, but there are plenty of other reasons it should be a once or twice a week thing max.

FoamShrimps · 15/02/2026 16:10

Sounds like a you problem then OP you’re just going to have to live with it

BeGentleMentor · 15/02/2026 16:09

LizzieLemons · 15/02/2026 15:58

Thing is kids can function on less sleep and be full of beans the next day, they don't seem to display the same tiredness cues as adults but it will be impacting her wellbeing. She's only 8, she needs her sleep. Tell her she can run after school if he has any midweek early finishes, or on weekends.

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OP didn't say he was waking her up.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/02/2026 16:09

I’d be quite firm - if she can’t be quiet as a mouse at that time in the morning, she doesn’t go. No arguments, no excuses.

twohotwaterbottles · 15/02/2026 16:08

Up at 5am on a school day? That seems mad to me. Why can't they do that at weekends? I'm a passionate runner but she needs sleep before school surely.

AgnesMcDoo · 15/02/2026 16:07

foreveror · 15/02/2026 16:03

They are ‘quiet’. DH shushes her if she tries to speak while upstairs, he makes sure all her running stuff is downstairs ready, makes her use the downstairs toilet, closes doors quietly.

There’s not really anything more they could do to be quieter, there always going to be some noise, It’s just knowing she’s up and awake that wakes me up.

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Ok in that case it’s something you need to find peace with because they aren’t doing anything wrong.

Original poster
foreveror · 15/02/2026 16:06

nbee84 · 15/02/2026 16:01

How far are they running? Is it all running or walk/run.

Children under 9 should only be running about 1.5 miles and only around 3 times a week. Can't remember all the details but it's something to do with their skeletal maturation and that their growth plates are still soft and not yet fused.

Really? that’s interesting thank you

They are doing around 5k more than 3 times a week, I don’t really know how much of it’s she’s running but I’d imagine she’s doing pretty well.

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 15/02/2026 16:06

She won’t be getting enough sleep. All because she wants to do it doesn’t mean you should let her

Original poster
foreveror · 15/02/2026 16:03

AgnesMcDoo · 15/02/2026 15:59

The running is perfectly reasonable.

it’s their inability to be quiet that’s the problem. That’s what’s need addressing.

They are ‘quiet’. DH shushes her if she tries to speak while upstairs, he makes sure all her running stuff is downstairs ready, makes her use the downstairs toilet, closes doors quietly.

There’s not really anything more they could do to be quieter, there always going to be some noise, It’s just knowing she’s up and awake that wakes me up.

OP posts:
FoamShrimps · 15/02/2026 16:02

AgnesMcDoo · 15/02/2026 15:59

The running is perfectly reasonable.

it’s their inability to be quiet that’s the problem. That’s what’s need addressing.

Yeah I think this too. She is plenty old enough to understand she needs to be quiet for the sake of the rest of the house. If she can’t manage that she doesn’t get to go, simple.

nbee84 · 15/02/2026 16:01

How far are they running? Is it all running or walk/run.

Children under 9 should only be running about 1.5 miles and only around 3 times a week. Can't remember all the details but it's something to do with their skeletal maturation and that their growth plates are still soft and not yet fused.

FusionChefGeoff · 15/02/2026 16:01

I would be focussing on her sleep - it cannot be understated how important good sleep is for children’s health and development. What time is she going to be bed if she’s getting up at 5???

Barrenfieldoffucks · 15/02/2026 15:59

Does he have to wake her to take her?

AgnesMcDoo · 15/02/2026 15:59

The running is perfectly reasonable.

it’s their inability to be quiet that’s the problem. That’s what’s need addressing.

LizzieLemons · 15/02/2026 15:58

foreveror · 15/02/2026 15:42

See that would be my best argument but she doesn’t ever seem exhausted

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Thing is kids can function on less sleep and be full of beans the next day, they don't seem to display the same tiredness cues as adults but it will be impacting her wellbeing. She's only 8, she needs her sleep. Tell her she can run after school if he has any midweek early finishes, or on weekends.

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 15/02/2026 15:58

If she wants to go and isn't falling asleep in school then I don't see a problem. She's out with her dad what in all honesty do you think is going to happen?
It would be annoying to wake everyone up but if you reinforce being quiet and maybe leave her running stuff downstairs she'll understand and even if the younger DCs come in can't they just lie in bed with you for a bit?
My DN is incredibly high energy and her parents have her out for a few hours every day but she just doesn't need much sleep (some kids don't).

CrazyGoatLady · 15/02/2026 15:57

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly

She's with her parent! Maybe you don't need to look too far to understand why she's a bit on the dramatic side!

Have her put her kit, trainers, water bottle etc out the night before so she doesn't have to rummage about for things. If she can't get up quietly and not wake the whole house, she doesn't get to go. Simples.

BauhausOfEliott · 15/02/2026 15:56

foreveror · 15/02/2026 15:47

Yes, it was her idea.

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That’s fine then.

I suspect your DH would much rather run on his own tbh.

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