In-laws talking to 6 year old about inheritance

Not exaggerating, I’m not talking about getting a house I’m talking about a trust fund for the children where they don’t have to work if they don’t want to. Would people tell their children there’s one? Or would they put conditions in what circumstances it’s granted - ie certain age, finishing uni etc.

That’s great you wouldn’t think that but I know people that did nothing in life because of inheritance. Or maybe they’d have ended up doing nothing anyway just be poor, I don’t really know. I’m not talking about deposit for a house.

it all depends on amounts so if there’s a trust where the children could live comfortably and not work it’s better they don’t know about it.

CANNOT guarantee the words used will be ‘wise’!
Or, VERY importantly whether words used are interpreted, understood, & remembered intelegently so that the infant can carry out the instructions.
Much safer all round to be allowed to grow up in conventional family life with good foundations.

Unfortunately this is what can happen with half-siblings or step-siblings. There will inevitably be disparities in things like inheritance, relationships with their biological parents, and relationships with people in their blended family.

I probably wouldn't have gone into great detail about the particulars of an inheritance with a 6-year-old, but what's done is done. At least this won't be a secret between your children, which could have created awkwardness when the younger one learned what she'd inherited and had to decide when/how/whether to tell the elder. There are benefits to having things out in the open from an early age.

And you don't think the child won't see this as favouritism??

I'm fully aware they're not related by blood. No need to shout.

Its crazy telling a 6 year old this info..it should have been run by Mum. At 6, 77k might aswell be 7k or 7 million. They don't grasp figures at that age. I agree its hard on your older child. I would be tempted to try get her a fund going or something unless its likely she will also inherit a huge amount from her grandparents for eg
I have never been in this position. My parents didn't inherit from either sets of their parents. No help whatsoever. Everything went to youngest son in both families. Its overall a positive thing though, you just need a plan for it. I would be explaining to kid that inherited that this isnt something to be talked about at school.

my husabnd is completely and utterly financially illiterate and it caused me so much stress and problems

I think the Mum is doing this to correct the imbalance. The younger child has 77k guaranteed. I would do the same. Its about making thi gs more equal.
I have a partner, we will not get married, we are happy as we are, however, what is his goes to his adult children, and what is mine will go to mine.

Is it really likely to be an amount that they can comfortably live on for the rest of their lives, @TheEveningSun ?
Because the vast majority of people get some sort of inheritance, it really doesn’t affect their desire to go to Uni/do whatever necessary to follow their chosen career.
I suspect your concerns may be somewhat exaggerated.

I agree at six the child did not need to know. I hope it does not come between the two sisters later on.
I agree that the Mother should start ( if she can) to put money away for the older child.
I do think the younger ones Father should have told you though. I personally would have been annoyed at that.

He'd probably be better off without this drama..

It would never have even entered our heads that we shouldn't bother studying because of an inheritance! Bizarre that anyone would think that way.

Yes this can go wrong. My mum left 80% of everything to my brother to has a different dad because the assumed that the other 3 of us would get money from our dad. Which turned out not to be the case.

This is the worst idea I've ever read, showing favouritism towards a child. But I guess one one will still love you..

Your husband is 100% right. It's good to understand money from a young age, and she would have learnt about it from her cousins.

You're also being insincere. If you ONLY angry about grandparents discussing inheritance with your 6 yo, why mention your other child this thread?!

The real reason you're angry is that you're upset about your eldest child. You need to get over this, apologise to your poor husband, and stop being a diva.

Quite apart from any other consideration children can be pretty mean at times, let's hope the youngster doesn't rub her older sisters nose in it at any point.

Memorious, rather than forensic. Arguably that is the luck, given that knowing the wider context tends to be quite helpful.

But the 10 year old IS NOT their grandchild

So you've gone and found other posts that she's made in the past? And come up with all this background info'?

How 'forensic' of you. You're clearly a lot more invested in MN than I am. Good luck with that, I guess.

Hmmm, maybe.

remember those who say if you don’t know how to be with money, you will be without Bonney Wetherby salary was 100k or 50k pa. True.

I think you could read it as:
"You will be without money whether your salary is 100k or 50k"

What do you think?

I think OP you have a very particular view on money, it doesn't mean its the only way to see this topic though. You also seem to have strong beliefs about the right of parents vs other family members to talk about money, is that also the case for other topics?

Money is all around us, like politics and religion - we cannot always control who shares and how information gets disemminated. Perhaps it would help you to spend some time thinking about why you have such a strong emotional reaction to this before you go further with your family members. You still have a strong influence on how your children think about money although ultimately they will find their own positions. The family members who you feel spoke out of turn may well have had good intentions, it would be a shame if you allowed this to cause division. You are still entitled to share your views on how you think money should be managed, perhaps by exposing your children to a range of views you can help them work towards their own sense of fairness and their value base as they grow up. Expecting it all to happen when they are young adults is probably not as protective a path as you think it may be. Whether they have been given a small amount of money or a larger one, the principles are what is important of how they relate to money - how they save and think about the future.

I can’t work this out at all. There must be a massive backstory if your husband didn’t tell you. I can’t imagine why that would occur to anyone and of course your child should and would know they have inherited. The cousins all did so it will come up and would be an odd thing to try to hide. The massive issue here is that for some reason no one thought you’d react well to this and they all decided not to tell you about it.

You of course need to make a plan for this money and find out the details - who can access it, what it can be used for, when your daughter will have control over it and of course what it’s doing right now. It has nothing to do with your other daughter.

I would have a serious chat with your husband though as something has gone wrong between you.

Op is odd. 90% of people would celebrating their child has inherited such a tidy sum from an uncle nobody expected to inherit from.

again, or are you just really angry it was not left to DH so you can get your hands on it?

are you guys living in your forever home or do you still need to move?

It's done , non of it matters . Moving forward it can be a hugely positive thing.