In-laws talking to 6 year old about inheritance

I think it would be much harder for a young person to become aware of the disparity at exactly the time when money actually starts to become more meaningful and important to them.

A 10yo might feel that it is unfair, but it's all a bit theoretical at that age, and they would have time to get used to the idea before they actually feel the reality of it.

I would think it would be better in the long run for them both to know now. Then at 18, or whenever they receive it, they'll go "oh yes, that was from old Uncle Tom. That's why younger got it not older" rather than "that's not fair. Why have they got more money? Did you give them more? It's not fair."

They can process it now, it's out in the open, rather than being a shock when the money may mean something more to them and it could look like you have been unfair.

I don't see the problem

Set up a savings account to balance out the amount.
My nan left 1k to each ggc but there were 2 mod pregnancy at thst point. The administrators adjusted it to give those 2 the 1k too. If not one of my kids would have had an onheritance the other didint, just through luck of tome of birth.
Now my nephew has one step dc and one dc i have no idea what his grandparents will do with their will - probably just leave to their 2 dc rather than to the gc. But obviously many people would only leave to their own descendants.

Are you perhaps concerned this may happen several times.?

The younger children learn about money the better.

the younger children learn about differences between their situations the more they take it in their stride.

as someone with a DSS who inherited a lot when his mummy died, and as the only grandchild will inherit a lot, and two Dds who will inherit from grandparents but not loads, two younger children who will inherit only from DH and I, and a DN who lives with us who is well set up by his late Mum I can tell you that openness from a young age means children take things in their stride.

landing news of vast differences between siblings on teenagers is a terrible idea

Their parents also tell them when we add money to their accounts.

I see somebody mentioned this is another thread of OP has started about how different the children are treated.

If that is the context, I can see that the in-laws are protecting the six year-old. In the event the six year-old’s father is not available later in life the six year-old will know she or he was left something and the 10 year-old was not.. I was never of the view that you were angry because your 10 years old was not left with something too. However, I am now suspecting you would want to utilise this money equally between the twogiven the chance. And that may explain why the in-laws spoke to the six year-old directly. I would. .

plus as someone said, 10 vs 100k mean nothing to a 6 yo. Compound discussed seem to mean they said the money will multiply whilst the 6 yo becomes of age- again appropriate.

We are grandparents add regularly to junior isa’s for our 6 grandchildren and explain its savings for their future. Uni driving lessons etc. they are similar in age.
don’t see a problem with this at all.

Precisely that

Why her consent? Isn’t the child’s father an equal parent?

It’s great that your 6YO can understand the concept of compound interest, even on a basic level.

If both children had inherited you wouldn't have a problem with them knowing.

It's understandable you're upset on behalf of your eldest but your husband and his family are entitled to discuss with his child that she has been left money by a relative.

Surely it's better for your older child to be aware of the disparity as soon as possible anyway? It will give them more time to get used to the idea. I can't see how it would be any better to suddenly find out as a young adult that your sibling has access to much more money than you do?

I agree with you OP . A six year old is far too young to understand about inheritance.

What do you mean? You save separately just for your eldest and not your youngest?

I’m in a similar situation and it means that I direct all of my resources towards my eldest knowing that the youngest will receive whatever from their side of the family.
I just do my best to even things up and everybody accepts that

Again.

Has your son been told the figure or just that he’s been gifted?

Well, that's good isn't it? Children should be taught about these things.

your in-law’s son, your husband!, clearly felt it was fine to speak openly about.

So if you have a beef, it should be with your husband not in-laws

It kind of depends on the amounts here tbh. But I agree with your husband in general, the more openly this stuff is talked about the better.

@ScarlettSarah I’m taking a giant leap perhaps that OP might not be describing exactly how it was done, considering she has mentioned several times how angry she is about it. I think being open about money is a great thing tbh

I think this is just the reality of having a blended family, OP. You can never make things perfectly equal, and it is your job as a parent to help your dc come to terms with that reality.

In an ideal world, perhaps it would have been good for your in-laws to discuss communication about the inheritance with you first, so that you could have considered how to handle the situation sensitively. So I understand your frustration on that point. But I think yabvu to suggest that your dc shouldn't have been told about it at all.

I wonder if it wasn't discussed with you because you have form for wanting to keep this kind of thing secret? Your DH's comments appear to suggest this.

Ultimately, you can't completely shield your older child from the unfairness that inevitably arises as the result of being in a blended family. The only way to do that would have been to avoid having any more children, and the boat has clearly sailed on that one.

It is appropriate.

Children in a blended family having different prospects is very common. Pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t do either of your children any favors. Your youngest shouldn’t be disadvantaged and denied important information and education because her prospects are better than those of her half sister.