In-laws talking to 6 year old about inheritance

I’ve got a child the same age and there is no prospect whatsoever that if they inherited something now I would tell them about it. It would be invested in their name until they were 18. And perhaps some discussion about it in the couple of years leading to 18 (but depending on the child at the time). No 6 year old needs to hear about their “inheritance”, especially not when they live with a sibling who will have no such benefit. Insane.

I think financial literacy is important, unless it's millions which can be overwhelming (?). Your 10yo isnt really relevant in this conversation. Better to have an understanding now than have the child go on a bender age 18 with their surprise money

I have a friend whose brother remarried after his first wife died. He had two children with his first wife. His first wife had cancer and she knew she was dying. She made it clear that her money and jewellery should go to her children. However, the second wife over time snaffled everything. It was a blended family and her children benefited from the money left by the first wife. It is only now that the first wife's children are in their thirties and married that they have realised how much was stolen from them. They were not told about anything about their mother, her money or her jewellery growing up so they assumed their mother had left them nothing. Unfortunately, the verbal request that her children were to be given everything of hers was ignored when her husband remarried.
It is right that both your children know the situation from an early age so there is no sudden realisation when they are teenagers.

MN is always adamant that if a woman remarries she has the right to keep family money for her own kids. The same should be true for men. They should not short change their own kids to please a disgruntled second wife.

YANBU - your youngest is very lucky, but has been given too much information at an age when they can’t understand the ramifications for the wider family. I would be angry in your position.

Don't make your youngest share it with the oldest.

I agree with your DH that it is healthy to talk about financial expectations - it helps kids to be money-conscious and aware of planning ahead so they might know 'this money could be used for...' etc

Depends. £500 is very different to £50k, will this inheritance mean a different set of life chances for them and their half sibling?
I think you sound a bit weird about money, and/or possibly your inlaws, and slightly controlling.

Op airways knows in-laws treat her children fit and only the 6yo is regarded as family. Not sure how much more warning op expected to be honest.

Inequalities between them are a fat though. One may be better at maths, one sportier, one funnier. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. "Jenny got some money from a great uncle, it'll go away for when she's older" conversation finished. It's only a drama if you make it one.

And are you open about this? That’s actually terrible!

I agree with you. And if your parents had known this at time Will was made, they would have made provision for you. Even putting 50 a month away for you.

workwise, do you not have a career? If you knew you would be left nothing, would you have planned your life differently? Just intrigued!

I agree @deadpantrashcan . Better to know at a young age than finding out in teenage years - which are traumatic enough as it is, without throwing any spanners in the works.

You say that like it's a dirty word.

I understand it is a touchy subject given different expectations of you children but your in laws have not done something wrong.

They probably should have mentioned in advance so that you were prepared but it sounds like that is on your DH.

It is a bit much of an explanation for a 6 year old, telling them they’ve been left a gift of money is okay.
Unfortunately your eldest child will have a different start to adulthood, don’t let that cloud your relationship with your second child by overcompensating with the eldest.

It is not hard to figure how why it is unequal. Your children have different fathers. Will your eldest not inherit from elsewhere?

I think this is great. My grandmother left me out of her inheritance because I have a different dad to my other sisters. I also have nowhere near as much money as my sisters. It stung finding that out at 40, and I’d honestly have rather known at 7.

This, would you be saying the same
if both were given money?

It's like grandparents deciding to tell your kid about sex, or Santa claus. It's not whether they should be told the truth, it's that it's not the grandparents place to tell it. Regardless of what DH thinks. If DH himself had told her, having tried and failed to reach agreement with OP on how to approach it, that would be different as he is a parent.

It’s something that’s supported by the OPs husband, it’s not just the grandparents going off on their own. Their son is happy for the conversations to happen

You areon to something. OP seems to be complaining about how these in-laws treat her 10
year old every so often. maybe that’s what op should focus on and maybe even leave this marriage? If it is causing her so much upset, why stay.

given all that- the in-laws will have their reasons.
until we hear them, I will stick with this.

by the way, Daddy being present does not seem to stop OP finding fault with in-laws and making unilateral decisions about the 6yo which she later admits was wrong? As said, maybe pay more attention to op.

A 6 year old won't understand what an amount of money could mean to them later in life. I can see why the conversation wasn't necessary at this point in time, however I think your anger is misplaced. As a child (decades ago) I knew my mother saved for us. As soon as I was old enough to go to the post office myself (around 10/ 11 in those days) she'd get me to go in and say whatever I had to say to reinvest whatever it was. I never once in my whole life till now considered whether my siblings had the same amount saved for them as I did. And as a child I never thought about what the money might be used for (it was eventually all paid into an account I could access as a young teen and became mine to do with as I pleased).

Children do need to learn about money and savings. If you want to give them a more equal advantage, you should look at how you can invest for your older child - or will they maybe inherit from their father's family?

I honestly dont know what the problem is. They're 6 theyll hardly remember or understand. Your husband is right that you are being weird about things but hes an equal parent so do3snt need to run something so minor by you

The child’s father is fine with it, why does OP not wanting her youngest to know take precedence over her father wanting the opposite?

He doesn’t have the issues that OP does, and never has. OP knew full well they weren’t on the same page when she married and had another child with him.

That’s a stretch. This child does have a father in the household who would prevent that happening even if the OP was so inclined which she hasn’t said at all has she. The grandparents aren’t right in this and if they were meddling in my children’s lives to this degree they would be seeing them a lot less.

Gives you time to save up for the oldest university now