Would you consider swapping nudes and messaging someone daily for months cheating?

@Thewovendiary "Honestly I am in absolutely shock - I feel like a total idiot, I never saw this coming - never had any suspicion whatsoever"

No, most of us don't. You'd never believe that so many men are lying, cheating cunts on some level or other. My DH did something similar after 26 years of marriage.

It is cheating but also worse than a drunken one night stand.

It is like one of these "it is not cheating if it a different country" "it is not cheating if there is no penetration" "it is not cheating if I don't cum inside" justifications.

Posting nudes to anybody!
Maybe I'm old but just get it out of your life.

I would absolutely class this as cheating

I'm so sorry OP. The vast majority of people would class this as cheating. To me, cheating means something of a sexual nature that is normally done in sexual relationships not friendships. Even if people disagree about what constitutes cheating, they should be asking themselves ' would my partner be happy about this behaviour' and if you wouldn't both happily do it infront of your partner, and be happy if your partner did it as well, then its out of bounds.

People can make mistakes but doing this more than once, threatening her with sharing her pictures widely (which is revenge porn and is actually illegal) and then gaslighting you that its actually fine because its not technically cheating, all point towards him being a total scumbag who doesn't care about anyone else. Sorry.

Yes he a cheat plus a lying scumbag.

It must be such a shock but at least you’ve found out now before you married him.

And he can get into trouble with police for blackmailing - it is taken seriously nowadays.

That's because you're a decent person with a strong moral compass and wouldn't ever conceive of behaving in this way. I'm so sorry you've been taken in by such a deceitful lying cheating scumbag. Don't feel bad for not realising until now - these men are very good at being convincing because they have no conscience. Just be glad you found out now so you can dump his arse. Big hugs 💐

At least you found out before you drop 25K on a wedding and had children

Oh OP... :(

Please get yourself as far away as you can from this lying, cheating, awful man. No one deserves to be treated like this. Ever.

He sounds lovely. I couldn't even look at him again let alone shag him.

Definitely cheating.

Yes.

What a horrible, horrible bloke.

He's certainly not prioritising you in his thoughts, so you no longer need to prioritise him in yours. Get rid

Blows my mind one of my friends partner has been doing this on and off with the same person for 10 years and she’s still with him.
I don’t get it

Yes

I would absolutely class this as cheating!

Yes it is cheating. But also it doesn't need to be cheating for it to be unacceptable behaviour and for you to leave.

He probably acted single then she figured/found out he was married & wasn’t happy about it! No doubt threatened to tell you.

have you seen the messages?

how were things in your relationship before this happened? I would see it as cheating but due to the type of person I am, I would want to know why he did it & why I wasn’t enough.

only you can set your boundaries and decide where you go from here. You can see his gaslighting so absolutely do not let him talk himself out of it

I’m sorry that this absolute dick has messed with your head so much that you have to even ask the question.

Of course it is cheating!

It's disrespectful to you in so many ways.
He thought you were too dumb to find out. He thinks you are so desperate and he's so irresistible that you will put up with anything.
He thinks you are so stupid that you will believe his bollocks of an excuse.

Dump him immediately. You are none of those things. You deserve so much better.
He's a total insect.

Don’t give this scum bag another thought
Get rid , block and concentrate on yourself for a wee while
Don’t listen to his excuses , his lies or his rationale - you deserve 100% better .

Well isn't he just lovely!
Get rid. Quickly. Like, now!