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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you don't really have many friends, do you feel OK about it?

31 replies

Prendetew · 15/02/2026 07:16

I'm 39 and don't really have any close friends that live near to me.

I have a couple of old friends from uni I see once a year or so, a few mum acquaintances that live nearby and people I'll casually chat to at gym etc

Most of the time I'm OK with this setup. I don't really have time for a social life anyway. I have a busy job and do condensed hours, 5 days in 4,plus a young DC and DH so weekends are often about family time, visiting family, with the odd gym class here and there.

Now and again, I do wonder why I don't have close friends and beat myself up about it. I had various 10 years ago but they all feel away due to moving/ me getting more boundaries and being pickier/ lives diverging

I've made an effort to join gym, be chatty with other mums but I just don't want to force anything

OP posts:
DaffodilTuesday · 15/02/2026 08:00

i have a couple of good friends locally but maybe only see them once a month for a catch-up. I have been a single, working parent for many years so socialising was quite difficult.

I think it is lonely but also I have many looser connections, if you like, so it’s not like there are no social interactions. I make sure to go into my office two or three times a week, go to the gym or pool nearly every day now DC are older, and tend to work in a coffee shop regularly so there are people around me. I am doing a course soon as well.

I think you have a DH and DC so you don’t fit the ‘having no close social ties’ profile and you are at a life stage where time is scarce. You are doing the right things to meet people and have social interactions. So I am not sure you need worry too much, keep doing what you are doing and maybe see if you can meet up with your good friends two or three times a year or do a longer trip or something.

Sweetiedarling7 · 15/02/2026 07:56

I have seen recommendations for the meetup app. Has anybody tried that?

saltandvinegarpringles · 15/02/2026 07:55

Yes - it doesn’t bother me. I don’t have much interest in other people generally.

Notmeagainy · 15/02/2026 07:53

No friends and not ok about it. wFH too, which makes it worse. Always made friends before, but not since I moved to a new area. Not really sure why haven’t made friends this time, but I suppose I don’t really have time to invest in making new friends. I’ve decided to give up trying. I try not to think about it. But it does hurt when I have no one to go for a coffee with or to invite to something I fancy doing.

Prendetew · 15/02/2026 07:21

MyCheeryMouse · 15/02/2026 07:18

I could have written this. Sometimes I feel sad about it, other times I don’t mind at all. I do wonder that once life is less busy with young family if it will be quite lonely.

Yes I worry about the loneliness bit. I hear how bad it is for health when you don't have close social ties

OP posts:
MyCheeryMouse · 15/02/2026 07:18

I could have written this. Sometimes I feel sad about it, other times I don’t mind at all. I do wonder that once life is less busy with young family if it will be quite lonely.

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