Random things you believed as a child light hearted

I thought if you peeled a pineapple, it would be in chunks (had only had pineapple from a tin).

My friend sprayed the screen wash on her car when we were driving somewhere which i had never seen before and she told me it was a very rare type of cloud that only rains in one place. We were learning about clouds in school and I told my teacher all about it on Monday.

I always thought sex was when a man and woman rolled around together continuously whilst kissing. That's how they did it on TV anyway!

Poodles were solely responsible for white dog poo I believed. And always walked by old ladies.

I thought that too, until now in fact.

Yes I didn't know that then, I just thought the colour matched white dogs.

We used to have the radio on for the news at lunch time. I thought there were lots of lovely people in the world, as so many of them were helping police with their enquiries. 😱

My Mum used to wear a hat and secured it with a hatpin. She would fiddle to get it right, and told me that was because she had had to have her head pierced and had to find the holes, just like with pierced ears.

I do not wish to reveal the age at which I realised neither of these statements were true …

This makes complete sense and is exactly the sort of thing I would have thought.

I believed there was a children’s prison. Fortunately I’d stopped believing this when I read Jacob Two Two meets the Hooded Fang, otherwise I’d have been seriously freaked out.

When I was in year 3, a friend had a pencil case with buttons that made various parts of it open (I’ve seen similar ones in Smiggle more recently). I asked him what two other buttons on the back were for. He said they would blow everything up, and he said it so seriously, that I believed him! Years later, I mentioned this. He said he (almost) believed it as well.

NUNS!

I had thick long hair, my pride and joy.
Somehow, as a child, I believed that nuns cut off all of your hair.

I was so scared of them getting hold of me and shaving my head.

That wind was caused by the trees moving, creating a draught

I didn't understand why 9-5 was peak hours for phone calls, because surely everyone was busy at work, not phoning each other!

My best friend and I thought thought maybe we could save up some pocket money and buy a jet pack, and that jet packs were things that were publicly available and you could literally fly with them - not that they were experimental things that probably cost c.$1m each, were only owned by NASA and could only lift you off the ground for a few metres at a time.

My best friend believed that when you were born ( as a girl)you had a teeny tiny baby inside you. In order for it grow you had to get married in a white dress and have a party when you were a grown up . Her reasoning was that everyone in the family had a white wedding and months later a baby arrived
I was convinced that you couldn't get pregnant if you had sex standing up.

That the beams of sun through a cloud were souls going up to heaven.

White dog poo was caused by the large amounts of calcium in the canned dog food at the time.

Up until I was about 10, I thought I was born in Warsaw, Poland. I was very disappointed when I found out I was born in Walsall (sorry, Walsall)

I thought that Public Weighbridge was a town. I was definitely older than I should have been when I realised it wasn't.

My mum, in an effort to get us to read widely, told us we were only allowed to take a library book out once. I believed this well into adulthood.

My youngest brother was in the infants when me and middle brother were in the junior part of the school. Mum picked him up first and walked round to the other gate. It was end of the year and we were singing the hymn 'Lord of the dance'.
" Dance then wherever you may be I am the Lord of the dance said he".
My brother turned to my mum and asked very seriously "What's a dance settee"

Sloppy drafting and too late to edit. 'house we lived in' and 'to sit crookedly'.

Our family church was guilty of one upmanship. We were given bread and wine.

I was convinced that if Anne decided to leave the Famous Five, the others would call round and invite me to be the new Anne. Every time someone knocked on the back door I thought it was them.
When I was a child, white dog poo was a common sight. I thought white dogs did it.
I thought that a great big snake lived at the bottom of my bed and I never put my feet to the bottom.
If there was thunder, I thought God was making his bed (thanks for that one Grandma!).
I was a peculiar child.

Love it! My pal thought the people who got wine instead of the wafer Communion were so lucky, because she believed it was orange cordial. 'This is MiWadi which will be given up for you...'

My dad told me those self-propelled spinning signs saying MOT or Barbers on them - pic attached - put the fizz into Coca Cola. I don't know why he ever said it but I regurgitated it as fact when I was in sixth form for God's sake. Even when friends were asking me, "Well how would that work", I was arguing back. Most embarrassing moment of my life.

I thought that the builder of the house we lived on was a giant who bestrode the estate at night and peered through the loo window at people having a wee. He was so real to me that on the odd occasion when I did get up in the night I used to crookedly so I could see the window behind me.

Even funnier when the Welsh word for multiple children is "Plant" so I had visions of plump kids crossing the road!