Random things you believed as a child light hearted

That the bumpy bits leading upto a roundabout was to alert the blind drivers of said roundabout. My auntie couldn’t stop laughing or telling everyone about it 😂😂😂

I have just gone back over the thread and find that the earwig fear was not exclusive to me!

I thought earwigs were called earwigs because they crawl in your ears and burrow into your brain. I used to sleep with my fingers in my ears ...

When I was little I thought comedy sketch shows on telly were live, and couldn’t figure out how (eg) The Two Ronnies changed outfits so quickly. I don’t know why I thought this, as I was fully aware that dramas and sitcoms were prerecorded?! It was for some reason just sketch shows that I believed to be live.

My mother grew up in a very strict church going family, she was definitely agnostic if not atheist , and determined we could decide when/if we wanted to go to church, so I wasn't a church goer by the time I started school.

We learned the Lords Prayer at school, and I thought the wording was a little odd, but accepted it as such because the whole class recited it together in Assembly, so it had to be right, surely?

It made absolute sense when I went to Brownies, and on Thinking Day we went to church. The vicar gave the sermon from a marvellous lectern that towered above us as we sat cross legged at the front of the church, and it was carved as an eagle.

".....deliver us from all EAGLES.....'' - well it was pretty scary that close up, no wonder it got a mention in the Lord's Prayer!

I thought it was the wedding ring that got you pregnant 🧐

That when Guerrillas were mentioned on the news that they were the monkey kind of gorillas and I could never quite understand why they were involved in war

I thought that Iceland the shop was named after the country.

I remember the moment I realised, I was with my dad and an advert for them came on. I suddenly exclaimed "omg! It's not because of the country, it's because it's frozen food!" Dad looked at me incredulously and I genuinely thought he didn't get it so I went on to patiently explain that the shop is an Ice LAND! A LAND OF ICE!!

Dad of course confirmed that yes, everyone else already knows this.

I was 27 😵‍💫

@VerySameTimei also thought this. My dad took us on when we were kids and I was really anxious about it as I don’t like heights. When we did the crossing I was like ooohhhh! Ok then

The skid risk road sign was a sign to unbuckle your seatbelt. We had lap belts!

I also got the idea that the devil lived down the toilet and would be summoned by the flush and/or by anyone speaking to me whilst I was in the bathroom. I used to wash my hands first, then flush, (🙀), before hurtling downstairs to safety. If anyone spoke to me whilst I was in the bathroom, I would scream in terror. This went on for years and I was genuinely frightened each time I had to flush the toilet, but I’ve no clue where I got the idea from in the first place.

When I was about seven I started worrying about vampires coming to the window at night.

I used to lie in bed, covered with all my soft toys, so the vampires couldn’t see me, whilst pulling the blankets over me leaving a tiny gap between soft toy and blanket so I could peer out. DM then had to pull the curtains, but leaving a very small gap - the idea being that I could see any vampire looking in, but he wouldn’t be able to see me! Bizarrely, I was relatively sanguine about the prospect of a vampire hovering outside my window, I just wanted to be forewarned in the event that one turned up!

That having an accident only meant wetting yourself.

i remember being really embarrassed for my friend’s dad because he had an accident and it was so serious he had to go to hospital!

I couldn’t look at him for years.

I wanted to bounce on the clouds too. Very disappointed to learn I would fall straight through.

And I found out TODAY that Evelyn Waugh was a man......

I lived in a rural area and I thought the signs pointing to bridleways were where you had to walk to church on your wedding day. I was a bit confused about how muddy they were, and why did everyone wear a white dress if they had to walk through mud to get there.

I remember going to the bank and paying in a five pound note when I first opened an account (was probably around 7?). I thought that my note would go on a little shelf somewhere and when I wanted to spend it I'd get the exact same one back. Like everybody who paid money in had their own special section

My uncle told me there were Triffids about the first time I remember seeing that sign - I was terrified!

That's brilliant. I wish they did 🤣

That when the icecream van played his tune, it meant that he had ran out of icecream & was just trying to make the children happy with tinkly tunes.

Also convinced myself to the point of panic attacks that drive through car washes would crush the car.

Ditto the aeroplane toilet. Refuse to even enter one now. Held my wee on a 14hr flight once 🥴

I thought that when people got engaged it meant they wouldn’t be able to ring each other on the phone.

I thought that the location of birthmark meant that was the first part of your body that came out when you were born. 🥴

When I was small my mum used to work in a shop, on the door was a sign that said "Closed even for Ever Ready batteries". This baffled me endlessly, I only knew even as in odd and even. Why would the shop be closed on even days, and what were they anyway?

BTW thanks OP for one of the nicest threads for ages, for once no-one has found a way to spoil it!

That presenters on the TV could see me, and I would try to make them laugh.

That whenever I rewound a cassette tape, I was making the singer sing it again.

That Uncle Ben (of rice fame) was my uncle, and I wondered why he never visited.

That they had to wait 30 years between filming the child and adult parts in Stephen King's IT movie. I couldn't comprehend that they would use different actors.