My child is being assaulted

Unfortunately, l predict this will happen more and more as the Government insists on inclusion for SEND pupils.
There just isn’t the specialist staff or resources.
Specialist schools were closed in the name of inclusion, but we all know it was to save money.

What fresh hell is this ? It doesn't matter if your child has complex needs they are to be kept safe at school not beaten up, I would contact the head ,form tutor and head of year and tell them you are escalating this to the governors and the council

I suppose it's sensible advice to keep away from people who are intent on hurting you. Or those who are your friend one minute and kicking you the next.

I can't comprehend really how we have come to this. Where children are hurting other children on a regular basis.

As a teacher, I can see the school's perspective, but I can also absolutely see yours and I think they need to be doing more.

From the school's perspective, it sounds like they are dealing with a group of boys whose behaviour is very challenging, and they have advised your daughter repeatedly to stay away from those boys because they don't respond in a positive way to her. I don't see it as victim blaming to state this. If your daughter has been told do not approach those boys, do not ask them to play with you, etc, and she still does this, then the school are going to struggle to manage the situation. I appreciate your daughter has SEN so she might not fully understand, so you need to also reinforce the message with her. I've dealt with countless behavioural issues over the years where certain children rub each other up the wrong way and separation is the only way to deal with it. The break time supervisors can't be everywhere, so there does have to be some level of responsibility on your daughter to stay away from children who she knows will behave violently towards her. If the boys are only violent when provoked/goaded, then the solution is easy - don't provoke, don't goad, don't ask them to play.

I would also say that I am sure these boys are being dealt with each time an incident arises, but the school obviously can't share with you the details of what is happening with another child.

From your perspective, I would be very concerned that your daughter is being physically assaulted repeatedly on school premises and the school aren't doing anything more robust about it to prevent future instances. She could be seriously hurt and they need to be taking firmer action. I would want to know their safeguarding policies are being followed and their plan of action to protect your daughter and her classmates from physical harm from these boys. Get the school's complaints policy and follow it to the letter. There is no point going to the local council or Ofsted or whatever the people on this thread say until you have followed the school's complaints procedure, because both will just ask you if you have done that and then refer you back to it if you haven't. You only go further once you have exhausted the school's complaints procedures.

I am a strident feminist but I would say here - take gender out of the equation. I don't think the school are being sexist. This isn't happening because your daughter is a girl and the other students are boys.

Cannot believe this post!! Your school sounds abysmal! Should be safeguarding your poor DD. At my dc primary they would be straight on this and sorting it out. You need to urgently escalate this higher

This is what I feel. Absolutely these boys are in the wrong, but thinking about some of our children where I work there are definitely a few children (girls) who lack communication skills and will approach others and not know when to leave them alone (taking their toy baby over, asking the boys to be the daddy, wanting to play kiss chase with the boys). Obviously this might not be true of the girl in this scenario but I do find that our sen children all attract each other which makes it very difficult as they generally all lack some social and communication skills which means the games they want to play together fall apart very quickly.

Also as everyone is bashing boys being violent, the most aggressive child where I work is currently a female. Currently they have got 2 adults working with her temporarily but this is not funded so not sure how long this will continue for.
Also to note that this doesn't make a child unpopular or for others to avoid..the children who hit/kick others are generally popular children and kids seem to understand they are different.

I know and it's teaching the DD that you must not upset or say the wrong thing to boys, girls must keep the peace even to their own detriment no matter what, it happens to adult women too...very depressing

I’m a teacher and am usually all for seeing the schools side.

This is absolutely awful! Make a fuss! Go to governors. Your poor daughter.

Is your MP a woman? I would be very angry indeed about this. The misogyny and victim blaming is something your daughter should never be facing at school.

You have to go straight to the Governers with this. This is completely unacceptable. I work in a school. We know there are children prone to such behaviour and actively manage it to avoid exactly the situation you describe. If the school are doing nothing, then take it to the Governers and let them intervene. Absolutely not acceptable on any level.

This made my blood boil, I'd be going to battle with the school over this. I'd probably report it to the police as assault. Not that I think they'd do anything, more because I can be an arsehole when riled. Please don't let them do this to your daughter, their behaviour isn't hers to manage and they absolutely shouldn't be teaching her to modify her behaviour to avoid males wrath. I think you should just pull her out the school, they clearly don't have the right values 💐

I pulled my dd from school because of shit like this. I complained and was essentially told there were too many disruptive violent boys teacher cannot be everywhere at once. It was all put on the girls to mitigate and manage. Dd came out of school once with dried blood around a cut and bump on her head and when I asked she explained she’s been run down at break but there were no staff to help her as they were dealing with the boys behaviour and she’d been handed off to another 8year old to take her to the toilet an clean her up.

this is the state of some of our schools now

You should formally complain using the school complaints policy. Look on their website.

And this is why society has gone to shit...

It doesn’t matter if an older DC is in the same school. You need to protect her. Poor child.
Also does she understand the situation? Could social stories help her to understand what is happening? Could she do with a 1:1? Could you fight for one for her?

Ridiculous! Why should it be up to a 7yo child to stay out of their way? They are hurting her fgs! They need to be dealt with or removed. Bloody hell, this kind of thing makes me so mad.

A boy in my granddaughter’s class has SEN. He regularly puts his hands on other children, kicks, shakes them etc. The kids, particularly the girls, have been told that it’s ‘his way of talking/getting attention’. I understand SEN - worked in it for years - but surely, that message says that it’s ok for a male to do what he wants to girls.

How do you know for sure this is the case?

Have you spoken to her about what she's saying?

For the record: Whatever the outcome, its still totally unacceptable for the boys to go near your daughter BTW. They sound savage and the school needs to step up.

Spoke to the head who said "I have explained to x name (my child), that she should stay away from boys she knows can be prone to angry outbursts, and if she approaches them, we will see that as her provoking them"

I almost had a nosebleed when I read that bit of victim-blaming. A brave little girl tries to stand up to aggressive males, or perhaps she’s trying to pacify them by making friendly overtures. Maybe neither is a good idea, but she’s seven years old, FFS.

Adults, including that cowardly head, should be in control and dealing with antisocial behaviour. That means preventing male violence, not teaching children to give in.

Love and sympathy to you and your daughter, OP.

As a teacher that response sounds to me as if the school feel like your DD is provoking the boys somehow. Which could be name calling etc.

I'm not accusing your DD of this I just know that this is what we tell parents of the provoker. I'd recommend talking to the school again

OMG is this school for real? Is your child the only one targeted as it sounds like they are warning all the girls not to provoke men which is not acceptable teaching at all. You would never send your child to a nursery or childminder where they were unsafe so why are people expected to send children to school where they cannot be kept safe. I am sure there will be people on here who can give you advice on where to turn for more help as the school seem clueless. It makes my blood boil as I have a granddaughter the same age.

@SandyY2KDid you report what you saw to the staff? I bloody hope so!

Practically, it does seem better for her to avoid those boys if that is how they are behaving without consequence.

However, that advice would be sound at the end of a sentence like, the boys behaviour is completely unacceptable and we will be teaching them this will not be allowed at school.

Oh my god that’s appalling! My DD was picked on last year but it was just one boy so we told her to hit him back - which worked but prompted an awkward conversation with the school. Honestly if the school had this attitude I would probably consider moving her unfortunately. 2 against 1 is dangerous. I would really kick up and fuss and if that failed I would move her. Are there any other kids who are getting terrorised by these boys? Try and find out because in our case there were three other girls and a wee boy and when all the parents complained as a group we got further.

Yes I'd being doing that, I'd also be contacting Ofsted