My child is being assaulted

Spoke to the head who said "I have explained to x name (my child), that she should stay away from boys she knows can be prone to angry outbursts, and if she approaches them, we will see that as her provoking them"
So, in other words you're teaching my daughter to walk on eggshells around males, in case she provokes them to attack her?" Surely I'm not being ridiculous here to be absolutely livid?!

I think I’d be including Ofsted and my MP, too!

I'm a primary school teacher, and if this was my DD, I'd be giving her lessons in how to throw a decent punch. Just sayin'.
Even a hard kick to the shin in some decent school shoes should get the message across.
And when you're dragged in to hear what she's done, bring everything you've said here. You're not willing to raise a passive, fearful little sheep, when there's dangerous thugs in the world. You're raising a woman who isn't afraid to stand up for herself, and if that means dishing out what she's been expected to take, then so be it.

Spoke to the head who said "I have explained to x name (my child), that she should stay away from boys she knows can be prone to angry outbursts, and if she approaches them, we will see that as her provoking them"
So, in other words you're teaching my daughter to walk on eggshells around males, in case she provokes them to attack her?" Surely I'm not being ridiculous here to be absolutely livid?!

DD 7has been assaulted multiple times by 2 boys in her year. She has been punched, slapped, kicked and pushed over.

Schools advice is for her to "keep away from the boys she knows are known to be volatile" so when they are playing whole year games, for example, the school have suggested she "uses clear language to ensure they are ready for theor turn, so as not to provoke their anger" and "when explained to the girls that their are some boys who are prone to angry outbursts, and the girls should avoid being around them"

AIBU, or is this absolutely ridiculous?!

Complain in writing and copy in the chair of Governors.

The problem is, my eldest is in their last year at the same school, and my youngest in the first

What I would do is go into the school and go directly to the people who touched my child. I’d scare them. Then the teachers will take it more seriously because they’ll be afraid of having an adult get involved.
yes I know this is not the way others would do it and i accept it’s not mature.

What I would do is go into the school and go directly to the people who touched my child. I’d scare them. Then the teachers will take it more seriously because they’ll be afraid of having an adult get involved.
yes I know this is not the way others would do it and i accept it’s not mature.

As a teacher, I can see the school's perspective, but I can also absolutely see yours and I think they need to be doing more.

From the school's perspective, it sounds like they are dealing with a group of boys whose behaviour is very challenging, and they have advised your daughter repeatedly to stay away from those boys because they don't respond in a positive way to her. I don't see it as victim blaming to state this. If your daughter has been told do not approach those boys, do not ask them to play with you, etc, and she still does this, then the school are going to struggle to manage the situation. I appreciate your daughter has SEN so she might not fully understand, so you need to also reinforce the message with her. I've dealt with countless behavioural issues over the years where certain children rub each other up the wrong way and separation is the only way to deal with it. The break time supervisors can't be everywhere, so there does have to be some level of responsibility on your daughter to stay away from children who she knows will behave violently towards her. If the boys are only violent when provoked/goaded, then the solution is easy - don't provoke, don't goad, don't ask them to play.

I would also say that I am sure these boys are being dealt with each time an incident arises, but the school obviously can't share with you the details of what is happening with another child.

From your perspective, I would be very concerned that your daughter is being physically assaulted repeatedly on school premises and the school aren't doing anything more robust about it to prevent future instances. She could be seriously hurt and they need to be taking firmer action. I would want to know their safeguarding policies are being followed and their plan of action to protect your daughter and her classmates from physical harm from these boys. Get the school's complaints policy and follow it to the letter. There is no point going to the local council or Ofsted or whatever the people on this thread say until you have followed the school's complaints procedure, because both will just ask you if you have done that and then refer you back to it if you haven't. You only go further once you have exhausted the school's complaints procedures.

I am a strident feminist but I would say here - take gender out of the equation. I don't think the school are being sexist. This isn't happening because your daughter is a girl and the other students are boys.

I think the child is 7?

As a teacher, I can see the school's perspective, but I can also absolutely see yours and I think they need to be doing more.

From the school's perspective, it sounds like they are dealing with a group of boys whose behaviour is very challenging, and they have advised your daughter repeatedly to stay away from those boys because they don't respond in a positive way to her. I don't see it as victim blaming to state this. If your daughter has been told do not approach those boys, do not ask them to play with you, etc, and she still does this, then the school are going to struggle to manage the situation. I appreciate your daughter has SEN so she might not fully understand, so you need to also reinforce the message with her. I've dealt with countless behavioural issues over the years where certain children rub each other up the wrong way and separation is the only way to deal with it. The break time supervisors can't be everywhere, so there does have to be some level of responsibility on your daughter to stay away from children who she knows will behave violently towards her. If the boys are only violent when provoked/goaded, then the solution is easy - don't provoke, don't goad, don't ask them to play.

I would also say that I am sure these boys are being dealt with each time an incident arises, but the school obviously can't share with you the details of what is happening with another child.

From your perspective, I would be very concerned that your daughter is being physically assaulted repeatedly on school premises and the school aren't doing anything more robust about it to prevent future instances. She could be seriously hurt and they need to be taking firmer action. I would want to know their safeguarding policies are being followed and their plan of action to protect your daughter and her classmates from physical harm from these boys. Get the school's complaints policy and follow it to the letter. There is no point going to the local council or Ofsted or whatever the people on this thread say until you have followed the school's complaints procedure, because both will just ask you if you have done that and then refer you back to it if you haven't. You only go further once you have exhausted the school's complaints procedures.

I am a strident feminist but I would say here - take gender out of the equation. I don't think the school are being sexist. This isn't happening because your daughter is a girl and the other students are boys.

What fresh hell is this ? It doesn't matter if your child has complex needs they are to be kept safe at school not beaten up, I would contact the head ,form tutor and head of year and tell them you are escalating this to the governors and the council