My child is being assaulted

What is the “reality” @ToughC00kie why do you know more than the op?
sincerly hope you’re not a member of the school with inside knowledge that’s not being shared with the op!

We had a similar situation when my eldest was in reception. One of the boys kept trying to open the door of the toilet cubicle when she was in there. He'd figured out how to unlock it from the outside. The teacher's response was a similar, "tell her to stay away from him" and I immediately corrected her (yes, female teacher!) How could she keep away when she is on the toilet? I told my daughter to scream as loudly as she could if it happened again, and also told the teacher that I'd said this. And that if it did happen again, I'd take it further. I had to make it explicitly clear that it was not my daughter's responsibility to keep away from a boy who was bothering/scaring her.

Nope but the paraphrasing makes it clear for those that work with children. Staff in schools don’t outright announce SEN.

Your poor DD.
Escalate and complain in line with school policy but also I would be looking to move schools asap. If this is the attitude of the Head then there is little chance that effective change will happen.

@ToughC00kie but she should not be in the dark. Someone should tell her if this is the case !!

if there is a class WhatsApp group I would message other parents to find out if they know about this
What do you know about these boys and their parents
I would not allow my child to go back to school
I would put it in writing to the head and write to the chair of governors copied to the local authority
The school’s approach sounds like complete madness and needs to be challenged

I'm also advocating for what priceless said. First
Then go nuclear.

And then she’ll look pretty foolish when the reality is uncovered. I’d follow the advice from the poster below.

And yes I’d like to know why you’re posting this again.

The age of criminal responsibility is 10 years old.

Where does it say they have SEN? It says they are volatile and violent. Surely you’re not saying volatile and violent MUST equal SEN?

This!

Misogeny and safety in school is huge ofsted drive.

Get your hands on every bit of evidence around this end their policies on safeguarding

Kick up the biggest stink id also copy the council in and governors and the mp.
Don't let this deep misogeny hide in the dark expose it.

Didn’t you post this exact same question on here a few weeks ago @ImplodingLoading ? You got lots of replies and loads of good advice that time. I don’t understand why you’re posting it again and you haven’t done anything to protect your daughter between then and now (if this is even real). If I knew my daughter was being punched and slapped by anyone at school I wouldn’t be sending her in and I’d be demanding something be done that ensures it never ever happens again. Of course the school’s response is ridiculous and sexist. But you knew that weeks ago when you posted the same thing. You are your daughter’s protecter, you need to have her back and advocate for her. Do something about it instead of posting the same thing over and over on MN

Exactly, but of course there will be “reasons” why it’s her fault..

They’re not men at work they’re young children with clear SEN.

Would you say this to an adult woman who was assaulted by two men at work?

Why are you on my soapbox?
Why is there a soapbox anyway?
You also know nothing about the details either, but are straight away supporting the “look what you made me do” stance of the abuser.
as @Zapx has succinctly put means.
“Going up to” a child is not equivalent to being physically assaulted by them, and if OP’s DD cannot manage staying away from them then surely, SURELY, it’s the schools job to keep them apart?
but as ever from some, they only focus on one child in these situations

ah see you’ve edited your post, makes some sense now, the content still doesn’t

I think you need to take emotion out of it first a moment and think carefully about what the HT is saying. It would be very strange for a HT to make those sorts of comments in this day and age without backlash, so I wonder if it’s a clumsy way for saying that your daughter is goading these kids by approaching them. They may well have reasons for their behaviour if being repeatedly provoked by somebody. Not an excuse, but reasons.

Re-think it for a second. A boy continuously approaches your DD and calls her names/winds her up. Despite trying to get away from him, he continues to follow her and try to get a response. Eventually she lashes out and pushes him.
He runs crying to the teachers/his mum. This becomes a regular thing.
I’m fairly sure you would argue that yes, your daughter shouldn’t have pushed him, but that a child continuously goaded will eventually lash out.
This may or may not be what’s happening, but kids don’t always tell you the full story (ex-teacher here- ALL kids lie/bend the truth at times- particularly for mum!)

I’d go and make an appointment to meet the HT and find out exactly what is going on. It’s easy to immediately jump to outrage, but these situations are rarely as clear cut as you think. By all means, protect your child, but also be ready to accept that she might be bringing some of these problems on herself and she may need help to stop this. They are all kids and learning how to navigate social situations.

Who on earth are the 2% who voted ‘you are being unreasonable’ ?😱. So sorry OP. This is disgraceful.

And I haven't seen anyone saying that either, so it is a poor straw man argument. The only possible mitigation would be similar to an actual situation at our school, a bit like an example given above.

Child A is in year 5, autistic, cannot handle people jumping around at them, flapping at them etc. Parents ask that they be allowed to stay indoors at break as it is a real issue for them, as younger kids like to wind them up for a reaction. School say no.

Children B&C are in year 2, like to run around child A in circles flapping, jumping and shrieking as it is funny when Child A freaks out.

Child A pushes B&C to make them go away. Child A is then suspended.

Parents successfully push back against this, as they had told the school that this wasn't working. They either needed to provide better supervision for A, or for them, or respect their wishes that they be allowed to stay indoors as they couldn't keep them safe. (Worth noting that staying indoors was perfectly normal within this school setting.)

Obviously from B & C's point of view an older child pushed them at break, and it had happened before for the same reasons...but in reality this was the younger children doing something they knew not to do for fun.

Oh do get off your soapbox. You know literally nothing about the details of the situation as you were not there( and neither was the op) and we’ve not heard from the boys or the school- just the op. Schools are very skilled at dealing with actual assaults and have robust procedures in place. If they are voicing it like this there will be a reason.

christ that's so bad of the school! my child is autistic and used to have outbursts in primary school and sometimes hurt other children, he was taken to another room and at times if come and pick him up if it was bad. I would be extremely apologetic to the other parents and do lots of social stories and reminders at home about why that is not ok but school absolutely did not and would not allow this and tell other children to just stay of his way. as hard as it is for me to admit - he was the problem and not them! I can't believe a school would say that to you regarding this. appalling!

This , all these “oh your daughters asking for it, these poor boys, they’re obviously the victims and defending themselves” posters.
Really hope you absolutely do not have any responsibility for safeguarding children or adults!
Is it that you have violent children and therefore see everyone else to blame?

Are they also disciplining the boys? Because doing so and telling her to keep out of their way at the same time sounds sensible.

Do the boys lash out at any other children or is it just your DD that suffers?
I would try and speak to the parents, if their are any other children, and she what the Head has told their children to do.
If for some reason these boys are getting away with terrible behaviour perhaps action by a group of parents would get a better result.

Either way, I would put a complaint in to the Chair of Governors as regardless of your child's diagnosis, she should not be expected to tiptoe around bullies. The staff should be separating them if there is an issue.