My child is being assaulted

Even if that were the case, leaving it all down to a 7yo girl with SEN to manage , is not safeguarding her or the boys being “goaded”.In fact , if that’s the case , they are failing all 3 children.It is clear neither of these children can manage their behaviour in a safe way, so the actual adults in the school need to step in and come up with a plan. And no , “stay away from them” is not a plan.

It is also sad and indicative of the society we live in that violent children aren’t suspended or excluded from primary school. I understand the reasons why from the school’s perspective - exclusions look bad when Ofsted come to inspect. But why are schools marked down for exclusions when excluding one violent child makes the school lives of 29 others (plus the teacher) immeasurably better? We wouldn’t accept violence in the workplace - the person would likely be dismissed for gross misconduct - so why do we expect small children to just accept it at school?

When are these incidents happening? How are they happening? Who is in charge then and supervising?

Agree, and also blaming ops dd!
no wonder we’re seeing such a rise in violence in schools and society!
you have SOME (and strong emphasis on the some!) schools enabling the violence and blaming the victim, and then you have parents who can never see anything wrong in their child, who even when assaulting others it’s “they approached my child”!

This

The school are failing to keep your daughter safe and basically enabling those boys to do just what they like.

OP have you written to the school?

because you need to. Get assertive, get writing.

My god that's made my blood boil. Complain to the highest level and don't let them fob you off. Maybe speak to other girls' parents to see if this is a pattern. This is 2026 ffs not the 1970s.

I know it is normally frowned upon on MN but I'd go directly to parents. School are doing sweet FA. Where I live, this is generally the approach when school fails to deal with matters appropriately.
In a few circumstances recently school was failing to tell parents what their little angels had been up to...parents were actually mortified and it got dealt with swiftly. I would want to know. My son is SEN and it's no excuse.
My son was spat at and slapped. School tried to make excuses, so when I spoke to the other child's mother, school hadn't actually informed her at all. Her child was promptly told off, said sorry and we got to the bottom of the reason why they did what they did. (They actually wanted to stay in an office during busy break times and lunch due to sensory overload, got desperate and lashed out at my kid thinking it would solve their problem). School was unaware of the issue.

Wow if that was the head’s actual words then that’s disgusting!

Ive asked for school to support DS in staying away from a bully - changing class, reminders, keeping them apart at breaks - and school said they couldn’t support that because then the bully would have no one to play with. Some weird rules!!

It’s really sad and indicative of the society we are living in that so many posters on a parenting site are joining the bandwagon of “well if she does approach them…”
what does that mean? If she wants to play with her friends in a certain area of the playground and the boys are there… should she not be allowed to? If their desks are near the craft or library area of the classroom, should she not be allowed in those areas?

I would move her and the youngest to a different school if your daughter is in the situation.
Its a little odd that your daughter does keep going to the boys that have hurt her, there is a child in my sons class that is unpredictable and very volatile due to issues, every other child in the year learnt this very quickly, within the first few weeks of foundation (now year 1) and give him a very wide berth.
Importantly though the school also recognised the issue and put an extra member of staff to help manage the behaviour during class time, despite budget constraints.
If you don’t want to move her then you need reinforce the idea of her staying away from them because even as an adult she will come across people who for whatever reason are not particularly safe to be around and she’s needs to learn self preservation and know to extricate herself.

The OP said in a follow up:

She may be approaching the abusers, but only.in an age appropriate/game appropriate manner

Which to me implies that the daughter might be going up to the boys and trying to engage them. Obviously, that shouldn't result in them hitting or pushing her, but at the same time, if she is doing that, the OP needs to work on her not doing it, as it's putting her in an interaction she knows will result in harm to herself.

Obviously nobody would because we expect adult men to behave in a civilised manner. I would also not expect an adult female to repeatedly approach adult men who had used clear language to explain they were not interested in interacting with her.

For 7 year old children, developing the skills needed to navigate a social situation like this is ongoing. Many children - both male and female - at this age may resort to pushing or hitting to get someone to go away if words haven’t worked. They are only in year 2. That’s still very little.

In some ways, I think telling your daughter to leave them alone IS a consequence. Children will learn that if they are violent, others won’t want to play with them.

Op also states her DD has been told to avoid being around them not that she has been going up to them ?

She also says she has spoken to the head .

Sorry edited to add in the second post if she goes up to them....

Still it's quite hard in a school and class to avoid people. What is the head telling the volatile boys ?

Really helpful🙄

I don’t but neither does she however if she starts shouting from the rooftops without even getting more info and hearing the actual story from professionals who were there as opposed to a 9 year old she’s going to look very foolish.

@ToughC00kie sorry what are you saying ?

You don't like the fact she started two threads ? Is that braking a mn rule ? If so have you reported it.
If you think it's not real again have you reported it ?
I've often had to start another thread on a topic because some looser overly invested poster /s are like a dog with a bone and are not helpful....so I've had to try and start again

Just a thought.

If two men assaulted a woman, they'd be arrested, though. Are you suggesting these two boys are arrested?

While obviously the school needs to be dealing with the boys and getting their behaviour in hand, it is simply common sense for the OP's daughter to not approach children who are mean to her, if she doesn't need to. Why would you want to go near children who attack you?

It's about dealing with the situation as it is, not as it should be.

Yes, the school should deal with it, and there needs to be a massive fuss kicked up until they do. Yes, the boys shouldn't be assaulting her, and frankly I'd pull her out of school until a plan to deal with them is sorted, or even switch her to another school if possible. But with the situation as it stands now, walking up to them unnecessarily means the daughter is deliberately putting herself in harm's way, and that's not sensible.

Sounds like the boys in question need to be in a different type of school

I'd have gone and attacked their parents by now.

That’s really not true.

Then why are you so sure you know the “reality”?

@ToughC00kie often the professionals who look after our DC are not up to date with the law and their own policies.
I'd never hand over responsibility for my own DC safety if they were having issues like this.

Awful advice and yes my experience is personal from an education setting! Don't do it folks !

Don’t be ridiculous

Well she chose to start not one but two threads on MN as opposed to getting further information from the school.