My child is being assaulted

I’d go to the governors as the head has not dealt with this appropriately at all.
I remember when DDs so-called friend at school was being nasty to her on their group table - I spoke to the teacher who said she was going to move DD but when I explained what was going on, she moved the ‘friend’ (this was year 5), as she was the perpetrator.
DCs were at a good primary school where bullies and any racist behaviour was dealt with (from my experience).

I work in a First school (Reception to Year 4) and what you're being told is absolutely ridiculous. Your daughter is 7 years old, even if she does keep away from the boys, what's stopping them approaching her and telling staff your daughter 'provoked' an angry outburst??? Nothing at all!!

You need to raise this as a safeguarding issue, in writing with the school. They have a duty to keep all children safe. Yes, some children can and do deliberately provoke volatile children, because they know it will create drama, and they find it funny (sad but true). You need to know how the school propose to keep your daughter (and other children) safe from being hit/punched etc. Do these boys have additional needs? Is there specific supervision for them?

You either learn to embrace it or become very hateful about it. It’s taken a couple of years for me to accept this is what we have to work with and I can either leave or look at my job from a completely different perspective. This is the future.

I will hope any future grandchildren I have will be homeschooled by a hopefully retired me! Or someone does something about education.

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I'm so sorry this is happening OP. What has happened is totally unacceptable and victim blaming.

I would be taking her to the GP every time she gets bruises from these attacks to create a record of the school failing to safeguard her. Yes, as others have said, complain to the safeguarding governor - follow the schools complaints process.

If these boys are so volatile that someone wanting to play with them causes them to assault that child, they should not be participating in playtime, but should stay inside with a member of staff so they can't assault other children.

Wrong though it is, I would also be looking to move schools for all your children. This is a terrible failure by the Headteacher and senior leadership team - do you really want your children in this school after this?

When you leave, I would leave feedback as to why everywhere you can so as to protect other children. Once you've exhausted the complaints process I believe you can write to Ofsted.

Wow. I had no idea. It must be incredibly frustrating as a teacher to know it’s virtually impossible to exclude one violent child who takes up all the time and attention which could make so much difference to the other 29. It’s no wonder people move house / go to church / pay fees / jump through all the hoops possible to avoid schools where these children dominate.

Think it’s 60 days per school year. Then you need to look at other provisions. Hubs, camps and in some cases a 1:1 and continuous exclusion from the classroom but not the school. All financed by the school. Even then you’re still looking to integrate them back in.

This is so depressing. These kids and their parents know the school’s hands are tied and they can continue their reign of terror in the knowledge that the worst that could happen is they miss playtime.

Contact the safeguarding governor.

Unfortunately, someone who's willing to attack others probably isn't going to listen when you tell them to stop. If they were, then they wouldn't be attackers, would they?

So yes, I would tell both my DD and DS, as children and adults, not to interact with people who are potentially violent, and when possible, to avoid places where violent people are known to hang out.

That's not victim blaming, because they're not at fault if they are attacked - the attacker carries the blame. But at the same time, not being to blame for the attack won't fix the fact they've been attacked, will it? So yeah, it's best to avoid violent people if at all possible.

Pragmatism and realism will keep a person safe a lot better than some idealistic 'but they shouldn't do it!'

Why can’t you keep suspending them? Is there a maximum number of suspensions or is it similar to exclusion where the school will be criticised by Ofsted?

And the head is wrong. Even if she does up to the boys and asks to join in their game, their response should be verbal not physical.
I highly doubt though that a little girl keeps on voluntarily going up to a bunch of bullies knowing she’ll get assaulted.

No for both groups sake they are allocated their own safe space. The OPs DD has sen and doesn't seem to understand that she is bothering these boys and I imagine they also have sen needs and lack communication skills in telling this girl to leave them alone. Both groups are entitled to a break time in a safe space and the only way to facilitate this would be for them to be allocated different parts of the playground. If either group then overstep and an issue occurs then it will be quite clear who is instigating the situation and further consequences could be taken.

And this is why they grow up to be violent thugs - they have never known a proper consequence. If they were expelled and sent to a different school they would start to learn there are consequences to their actions and their lazy parents might actually do something about their behaviour. It is appalling that everyone else has to bow down before the altar of the violent child’s feelings - what about the feelings of those they have hurt?

In a weak moment I might tell the head that I'll just come in and push these angry boys around a bit, and she can tell them to stay away from angry mothers!

This is not relevant.
My DS is in a specialist SEMH school and they are told off for "provoking" others but in their case this means things like calling each other names, taking their stuff, poking them and getting in their faces (literally).
DS has form for provoking his sister but hasn't been in trouble for it at school, though another child was in trouble for provoking him a while back - calling him names I think. He's learned not to respond. We're proud of him.

Going near a child should not be provoking.

Your eldest is year 6, so could walk themself to and from school? I would let them finish their time at the school and move your younger one. Unless the head changes this will not change.
My daughter had similar and her teacher did nothing. But the head stepped in and sorted it by assigning an arms length one to one to the bully, when they knew they were being watched it stopped

Well it’s exactly what the head has said - that she keeps approaching them.

Nice bit of victim blaming there. So we should be telling our daughters to avoid going places in case they get attacked rather than telling the attacker not to attack?

Are you sure you’re getting the full story? The way that is worded sounds like the head is trying to tell you that she keeps approaching them, not the other way around . Like they just want to be left alone and other kids keep approaching them and winding them up,

FWIW I am a teacher. The school is so wrong on this. You need to complain in writing. Also check the schools complaints policy. If you do not get a satisfactory response then you escalate to the next level. I would seriously be considering another school.

It takes so much. The paperwork for every incident. Shown you have exhausted every avenue. Even then you need to try it again. Multiple suspensions. The costs involved. The pushback from parents, LA. I’ve seen one child excluded from my mine in we were fined massively.

The problem is also that many behaviour/nuture units have closed down, in our local catchment school they had a lovely nurture unit. This was a designated corridor of the school which the children with SEN/Behavioural issues were taught with very experienced staff and a higher ratio.
3 years ago the nurture unit was closed down due to no funding and then children that had been using it were funnelled into the mainstream classes, which then caused major problems.
The children that had been using it were expected to ‘fit in’ with the class with minimal extra support because there wasn’t the funding for 1:1 TA support for them all, the other children on witnessing some of the behaviours were really anxious. Children were getting hurt because others would lash out and the overall behaviour and attainment of the school drastically decreased to the point it was taken over by an academy, it’s struggled ever since. Many parents moved their children out of the school when others in the nearby areas had spaces.
Unfortunately you can’t just exclude a number of children with no alternative provisions available and even in cases when the school have said they cannot cater to a child’s needs, our council have insisted a school take them because they are the better option out of the others available.

Yea I had this with my son. It escalated to the point that one boy had him held down by his neck while another kicked his head. A staff member witnessed this and told him he could get up and stop exaggerating. I moved him schools in the end, they weren’t interested in dealing with it.

Sounds like there are issues on both sides. Your DD keeps approaching these boys despite knowing she could get hurt. And these boys are quite reactive. I would be asking the school about zoning them during playtimes and keeping them apart - this requires your DD to listen to that though.