one holiday too many?

No. But there is in stopping your wife and kids having a cheap holiday with people they love and rarely get to see

So he doesn’t have to go. They can book a family holiday somewhere else.

Doesn’t mean OP and kids should forego the enjoyment of seeing her family.

But he doesn't HAVE to, he just doesn't HAVE to stop her and their children spending some time with THEIR family.

I wouldn't want a free week in France if it meant I had to spend it with my in-laws. I don't think that's especially controversial!

There's nothing spiteful about wanting to spend some of your summer holiday not surrounded by your in-laws 😂

Who wouldn’t?

Her partner. Probably because he doesn’t want to holiday with her wider family yet again.

Actually she said that when the choice is an extra free week in France or paying to go somewhere else, she'd prefer to do the free week.

Who wouldn't?

She's also said she's happy to go elsewhere with him and that they can afford it and the leave.

You might feel like a long weekend once a year with a sibling is fine, but some are closer than that. She's also said that her children e joy the time with their cousins, which is an important thing to factor in.

Personally I could go all year without speaking to my sister, we're not that close. But DH would never tell me I couldn't have time with her when I wanted it or that I couldn't take DD for time with her family.

That's the point here. And it's fine saying she could go without the kids, aside from the fact they want to go, but why is it fine for her to not be with them when he couldn't possibly spend a week (a working week at that) without them?

Double standards.

And so she should.

It doesn’t have to come at the expense of them going away together as she has said there is a 4 week window where she’s happy to go wherever DH wants.

They can take another 2 week holiday as a family to a place of DP’s choice.

They only have to pay for the flights. That isn’t affected by how long they go for.
They go for a week or they go for two, they have to buy return flights regardless.

I’d hate to have a marriage where either one of us was so spiteful.

What a miserable way to be.

Right?

OP can take her sons off for a couple of weeks to see her family and then plenty of time for them to have a different holiday altogether.

She also said she wants to stay in France the extra week because it's cheaper and she gets more time with her siblings.

Which is understandable but it shouldn't come at the expense of them going away as a family of four.

I would hate for every single summer holiday to revolve around the needs of my DH and his siblings with no thought to me.

Doesn’t sound like that at all simply that a cheap holiday is a plus.

She actually says they both get “decent summer holidays and wage” and there’s another chunk of time she’s willing to go anywhere he wants.

So they should go.

OP has mentioned cost, so it sounds like they can't afford to just go anywhere.

But they’ve got another 4 week gap when they can go anywhere.

Id say it’s pretty selfish to stop your partner and kids spending time together.

Maybe it's not possible for them to save up and make compromises - it isn't fro everyone.

Nobody is saying OP and her kids need to miss out entirely, just that they may have to accept that they only visit relatives every other year. Maybe the cousins and siblings could come to England instead occasionally?

We’d save up and make compromises in other areas.
The compromise would never be for our children the other parent to miss out on this opportunity. ☺️

This isn't about you though. I spent years doing these driving holidays in France and having your own pool is bliss. Clearly the OP doesn't find it boring.

Even if it was at the expense of you ever having a family summer holiday together?

She doesn't need to go for a full week - a long weekend would be fine.

It's unrealistic and unfair for her to expect every single summer to revolve around her needing to spend a week (or two) with her siblings, especially if that means they go without a family holiday on top.

Maybe I'm coming at it from a different viewpoint but my family all live overseas and spending a week or two together every other year was totally normal for us.

She's said she'll take their children the week he's working, to spend time with family none of them see often. She's said that this is the only time they see him.

He's said no.

You're right, no evidence of joint working at all...

And do what with their children while he's working and saying he couldn't possibly be apart from them for a week?

Well, this thread has made me feel so grateful for my marriage. I know for a fact my husband would never put me in this position, nor would I him. He’d be happy for me and our kids to have this yearly opportunity.

And on Valentine’s Day too! 🥰

Thanks everyone

This.

There's not a chance would I go on the same holiday every year and there's not a chance I would spend my holidays with other people (family or friends). So to go on the same holiday every year with family is my idea of hell.

You're being incredibly selfish.