one holiday too many?

I have booked flights out for me and the boys ( they were so cheap @ £40 each and selling fast) but the return date is the real dispute.

one option could be that he flies out to France only to take the boys straight home, and I stay with my family for a second week. but the boys would hardly understand why they had to stop a holiday by a pool in summer sun with all their cousins and grandparents, just to go back to sit at home for a week before going back to school in September

I have booked flights out for me and the boys ( they were so cheap @ £40 each and selling fast) but the return date is the real dispute.

one option could be that he flies out to France only to take the boys straight home, and I stay with my family for a second week. but the boys would hardly understand why they had to stop a holiday by a pool in summer sun with all their cousins and grandparents, just to go back to sit at home for a week before going back to school in September

So the OP who just wants her holidays says.

“and I think it would be very illuminating for them to manage the day to day ( feeding, dressing, cleaning) for 2 whole weeks, considering that I've always done all of this for the last 8 years.”

He doesn’t do his “fair share”

exactly

I’d do a week in France (when dh is working) another week with dh

😆 All you have to do is read the thread.

If I were the OP I’d have already booked the flights to France.

Fair play. I'm beginning to think you are the OP on a 2nd account because you know so much about the family that hadn't been said on the forum at all.

Fair play. I'm beginning to think you are the OP on a 2nd account because you know so much about the family that hadn't been said on the forum at all.

No no no - they divide the domestic work and childcare between according to their working hours. Thus 50/50 on the 3 days they’re both working and on weekends, then she picks up the slack on the 2 days she’s off.

Bit she doesn't work full time... therefore the other days it's fair she does the workload in the house.

And OP’a don’t? If she worked FT she’d be earning almost the same.

His big man job that pays the bills?

exactly

OP

This isn’t a dynamic that I’d want to be in. It would really make me sad to have a husband who was so utterly selfish.

Dont compromise.

He does fuck all around the house or with the kids most of the time because of his big man job, so why should he get to dictate the holidays.

Stop letting him use you like a maid. You work too, kids and housework are also his responsibility

Personally I would go for one weeks with the kids without dh and one week somewhere else with your family ie dh and kids.

Quite a long one here. I'll try to be succinct.
am I unreasonable to try to have the same summer holiday with my brother/sister again? sister has a summer villa in France that we can visit for no cost. ⁹and I want to go again this summer but partner does not.

we went last summer, and 3 and 4 years before. I accept it's repetitive, and also in a very quiet area of France, but it's also really cheap, has a pool, and our 2 boys (6 and 8) love the time with their cousins ( and want to go again). it's for 2 weeks. but partner will be working for 1. so I suggest they join us for the 2nd week only .

For context, my partner and I both get decent summer holidays and wage. but I am part time (3 days a week compared to 5) . partner earns approx double (25 Vs 50). I do absolutely all the house care and child care. but I want to see my family in the summer (brother lives in Canada and this is the time he can visit each year and sister lives away and is usually working).

dh says he doesn't want to spend so long away from our boys and doesn't want to go again to France. but I'd argue that he will be working anyway for 1 week in uk (and it's only 8 days that he would have to be there in France afterwards). I should also say that there is a 4 week gap beforehand when we are both off work ( and the school holidays for the kids) where I would be willing to go along with any other holiday plans whatsoever.

am I being unreasonable to go ahead and book flights? ultimately, can I insist on 14 days that I dictate in the year and just take the boys away? or should I take a year off from seeing my brother and stay at home wishing we were there, while my partner works each day? I doubt there could be anything in the middle

Brother, nephews, nieces, sister, her, their kids all want to go to France.
Vs her husband, who doesn’t want to, nor is he being forced to.

I imagine if he was insisting on taking the kids away for 2 weeks with his family without the wife then the response on here would be unanimously critical of him.

It’s not fair that you can’t see your family just because he doesn’t want to, if money and another family holiday is no issue.
It’s also not on that he can’t be without his kids for two weeks, therefore denying them a good time with their cousins, in the holidays when he would be working.

So selfish and this would be a hill I’d die on. You shouldn’t insist he comes for one week though. He doesn’t need to go at all.
You go for a fortnight. You go on holiday as a family to wherever he wants.

What's wrong with it though besides you wanting to go to france 😂

Would your brother rather see you in the UK or not see you at all