one holiday too many?

I think it's pretty selfish to say "you can't see your brother at all this year because I don't fancy France" tbh.

There is no way on this planet I would go on holiday with my in-laws - and I certainly wouldn’t be going every single summer for two weeks 🫣

You’ve had your way four times now - when does your DH get to choose what you do?

I’d go for the two weeks but he can stay at home.

Annual leave is precious, as is family time. I would hate to do the same, nice but boring thing every year. I am with your husband.

If you can take 3 weeks off, or even 4, I would do 1-2 with brother and sister in France with boys and their cousins but no partner, and then a week or two somewhere else.

it’s highly unreasonable of your partner to get in the way of the one cheap and fun opportunity you have each year for your family and the cousins to all see one another

boring or not, when you have a sibling or parent who lives abroad that is the ‘family tax’ you pay - repetitively going somewhere. I used to live in Australia and my ‘family tax’ was holidays always back in Britain rather than NZ, Fiji or any of the other incredible places I could have gone to

As others have said, you and the kids can go for one week while your DH is working, it's the obvious solution.

If you and the boys want to go then I think just go and do a week somewhere else with your husband and kids.

I agree with doing a week. If cost is an issue that month (assuming August) do a family week at May half term elsewhere instead. It is cheaper!

I personally can't think of anything worse than a villa in the middle of nowhere with my in-laws year after year. And I like mine.

Could you just do a week out there with your children on your own? Then something together. I can understand your DP not wanting to do the same holiday again but feels unfair to stop you going when they will be working anyway especially where it is your only chance to see your brother if he is living abroad.

Some of this is a bit unclear. Can you afford a family holiday the 4 of you then for you and the kids to join your family for a week?

All my in laws live abroad (for at least part of the year) so if we want to see them we have to travel. I don’t want to use al my a/l on it but am very happy for DH and DS to go for a week and the young cousins to all spend time together.

This. Its a fair compromise

Can’t you compromise and just for for the week he’s working with your boys?

I know you have other time you could go but he probably wants to spend the other week together as a family and it’s fair enough he doesn’t want it to be with your extended family.

No i would not book anything for someone else if they said no, it is not a mature reaction

I don't think you're unreasonable for wanting to go on the holiday, but I do think it would be unreasonable to go ahead and book it when he said he doesn't want to. I wouldn't like it if my husband booked something I'd said I didn't want to do. Can you take the children just for the week that he is working? Would be be okay with that?

Hmmm, I voted YANBU, but I might have already changed my mind.

Not unreasonable for you and the kids to have a week away together while DH is working. BUT, it is unreasonable if it means there's no money left in the budget for the whole family to go somewhere else together.

Reading your follow up posts, it sounds like it only work if DH agrees to go somewhere else in France, so there are no extra flights. In which case, yes, four years in a row is a lot.

Maybe for next year, now that both kids are clearly at school, you go back to work for one extra day a week. Put the extra funds into a holiday fund so that next year you can afford two weeks with your sister (one week your DH doesn't attend) and then another week somewhere that your DH would also like to visit.

That extra day of work would probably cover the extra week away and a weekend break or two during the year too.

Would that be your only holiday?

Because like fucking hell would I want to spend every annual holiday with my in-laws. Or actually any wider family group. I like them well enough but fucking hell. And that's without the fact it'd be the 4th time going to the same place. Just no.

Why can't you just go for a week when he's working?

Have you been mentioning to them all time about seeing their cousins or did they bring it up without any prompting at all?

The kids are old enough for you to take them on your own. It's very cheap, family time is important, and he doesn't have to come. It's petty of him to not want you and the kids to go

YABU. You have had your way for several years. I would not like to spend 2 weeks every year with my husband’s siblings. I would just go for a week. Your DH has been for many years and doesn’t want to go fair enough. He is not being unreasonable if he wants to see his children when he is not working and they are off school.
Go for a week and have another two week holiday with your husband and children.

YANBU at all. This is essentially an almost free holiday and you both have time off work to do a different holiday if you want to. Your partner doesn't have to come along, though France, quiet, pool, family sounds like my ideal holiday tbh!

It seems very reasonable for you and your sons to have a holiday you will all enjoy, as long as you are also able to have a holiday as a whole family that all four of you will enjoy.

Does your DH have issues with you spending time with family in other ways? It feels a bot controlling of him to want to keep the three of you at home when you could be enjoying time with other people you're close to.

So it's essentially all about what you want (that free extra week holiday for yourself) and absolutely no consideration for the rest of your family.
YABU

Do you live in each others pockets?
Book your flights (or train) and go for two weeks. Your DH can join - or not.

FWIW we often took our DC away separately, to stay with our respective extended family.