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Original poster

To fuck off out for the day when MIL visits tomorrow

81 replies

Myeyeisnotokay · 13/02/2026 21:02

Instead of playing happy families and pretending everything is ok with me and DH?

Apologies as this is a bit of a vent, and I'm still mad so I may sound unreasonable. We've argued tonight, over a stupid thing but DH is refusing to apologise or even engage in a discussion about it. He feels he is justified.
He ended up effing and blinding at the table because Dd4 and Dd6 only picked the sausages out of their casserole and didn't eat any veg.
It's a battle but they DO eat veg - eg they both love broccoli, cauliflower, peas, etc and will generally eat quite well. Won't say they haven't been particularly picky lately and refusing to even try things, which is irritating. But I'm much of the view that we can't force them to eat stuff and threatening them with no pudding unless they clear their plate is just not a healthy way to encourage them.

I specifically told DH not to make comments when I dished up tea today, because inevitably he picks at them and tells them they need to eat a bit of this with that, and have some veg with that bit etc and it's so draining . We can't just have a nice meal. It's just anxiety inducing for the kids I'm sure. he just couldn't help it and kept on and on at the girls until I snapped at him and he was then swearing (mainly at the situation eg. It's fucking ridiculous).

I've told him he needs to apologise to both me and the kids for the way he spoke. He's given a half arsed "maybe I overreacted a bit" but maintains he was justified because their eating habits need to change and apparently I'm too soft (which fucks me off too, as I am not! They don't get alternatives and I'm happy to let them go hungry if they don't eat, and have made lots of suggestion like meals in the centre of the table etc)

I'm livid with him. I realise this all sounds quite petty but it's just one of a string of stupid arguments lately and most of the time we resolve things, but seemingly he doesn't want to this time. I'm not willing to play happy families until he has a proper conversation with me and actually acknowledges why I'm upset with him.

MIL is visiting tomorrow and not a fucking chance am I going to pretend we're all fine so he comes off like he's the perfect husband and father like usual, so I plan to fuck off out. But I fear I'm also unreasonable, as we don't see her often.

Finally, if anybody has any useful tips on how to get little kids to eat a wider range of veggies, PLEASE throw them at me. I am open to new strategies but I won't force food on them!

Hmmph.

OP posts:
QuietLifeNoDrama · 13/02/2026 21:15

I dont think you should necessarily head off out for the whole day but you don’t need to pretend all is well either. I have a child who only eats a handful of veg. She ate loads as a baby but now only a few items but I think you’re doing the right thing. Any extra pressure isn’t the way to go. Is there any particular food your DH doesn’t like. Would he like to eat a bowl of it with you constantly nagging at him. My DD is always willing to try new things and she’ll even ask to try the old ones again to see if ‘she likes them yet’. That’s all we ask in our house that she keeps an open mind. Mealtimes should be relaxed

EvangelineTheNightStar · 13/02/2026 21:12

But I'm much of the view that we can't force them to eat stuff and threatening them with no pudding unless they clear their plate is just not a healthy way to encourage them.
is that what’s happening though? Are they not eating veg or food they’d normally eat, but happy eating pudding?

Meeeeeeeeep · 13/02/2026 21:09

You both really need to agree a strategy and show a united front.
Yes, forcing veggies is not great, but better than a perfect strategy is a nice atmosphere at the dinner table.
You insisting that you are right and telling dh how to act will come across belittling to him no matter what your intentions are.

canklesmctacotits · 13/02/2026 21:07

Well, you don't have to play happy families in front of her. You can play the family that you are. Leaving the house all day will only serve to escalate matters - I think you know this.

You need to be adult about this. Have a calm conversation, the two of you. Whatever the problem is, sort it out civilly.

Vegetables: don't push it. Keep a steady and calm approach of only offering a healthy and balanced diet, including a small amount of rubbish food, and don't change course. Over time they will almost certainly move on. And if they don't, well you have two picky eaters on your hands and there's literally nothing you can do about it. It won't have been your fault, you will have done what you should have done - and that's it. They're not robots. They're individuals. Tell your DH this, sounds like you have a good grip already.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 13/02/2026 21:05

Nah I think if they usually eat ok, then it's not an issue.

The bit where you said he tells them to "eat a bit of this with that" etc took me right back to my grandad doing this with me and it did my head in. So controlling. No, I'll eat the bits I want and when thank you!
I would fuck off out if I were you! Unless he apologised

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2026 21:05

Whatever anyones opinion on what/how your DC eat ,your DH causing tension at mealtimes pretty much guarantees that it will make them less likely to eat well

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