I don't want to do party bags

Sorry to be a bore but think of all the silly.little plastic bubble things that end up in landfill every week! These have been in almost all the party bags my DC have received. The bubbles are always scrap, in fact the last one didn't even work.
They seem to float around the house endlessly here as I feel bad just chucking them away.
(Misses point of thread)

Why take a bag full of things they know they won’t like? They can just say “no thank you”

I always do cake at the party not in the party bag. Hate the idea of cake in a napkin - it looks gross, the napkin inevitable sticks to the cake. And I can’t imagine much of it is actually eaten.

Absolutely this, gift wrapped in cheap wrapping paper and a tiny bag of haribo in each parcel.

or, the other hit we had is the seasonal craft kits home bargains. £1.49, colouring, pens, stickers, sometimes a wooden paint craft.

I do think something works, and kids expect it. but, I have found speaking to parents and receiving the bags, it’s just going in the bin.

I’ve not been to a plastic party bag party for a while. Had some cool ideas.

as above and all under £1.50 each.

one mum printed colour sheets, take home like a scroll and if handed in birthday child picks a winner.

seeds and send a photo in three months, best and worst prizes.

as long as cake is involved somewhere it’s a winner

I agree I hate tat. I live in and my circle is quite upmarket/intellectual and international and I’ve seen no party bags, just a book, personalised bags, I did bath bonds with a toy inside. I’ve not yet had a bag filled with plastic tat. So I don’t think it’s obligatory and I think if you do you can do something you’re comfortable with

Absolutely brilliant device the British have perfected though.

Here’s a lot of sugar and shiny stuff in a bag to distract you, now politely go away.

No, you have to put it in a paper napkin and either put it in the partybag or give it to the child in the napkin when he leaves.

Never seen it anywhere else. First time I just threw it away when ds came out with his napkin and cake. I thought it was him who hadn't eaten all his cake and wanted to take it with him. Then I understood it's the done thing. I'm not a snob but this is just so unappetizing 🤢

We do birthday cake and fruit at the party (as well as savoury food), and "tat" in the bags, no sweets.

My own kids way prefer the novelty tat to sweets - but also, we sometimes get a lift home from parties and the other kids all seem to prefer the novelty tat too. Blowing bubbles in the car and swapping stickers.

Sweets are overrated compared to fun toys. My dd had to have extensive work done on her teeth - not entirely because of sweets, mostly because of how her teeth are - so we are extremely careful now.

Fun toys can be enjoyed again and again but sweets last 2min. Give us toys!

Kids look forward to them (unfortunately) but I think you can do crisps, cake, sweets etc to lessen the tat!

So you don't give sweets to the other children because your dd has tooth problems? My DS best friend has Arfid and doesn't eat neither cake nor sweets (except one special brand and flavour) but her mum still has cake and sweets for the other children. I know kids would def be disappointed without sweets. Can't you just get her some sugarfree ones?

I hate them too. Receiving and giving. I try to adopt a different approach and have a book and pair of socks and chocolate bar last time. Got sets of books cheaply like the Mr Men and Little Miss books and used those.

The schools here also here have an annoying tradition that the birthday kid brings a party bag type gift for all 30 kids in the class... We have random party bags regularly and sets of crayons/ pencil cases. I'm doing books again.

You don't have to do party bags we have done books, sweet cones, selection box's or a felt mask.
I don't like the plastic waste of tat that breaks in 2 minutes and goes in the bin!

I absolutely loved doing party bags. I was hoisted by my own petard because, I made them so good, that I became known for them and had to up the ante every party.

Kids love party bags. I think you should do them, they very soon outgrow them.

Yup, you gotta do them! Best way to send the kids on their way so you can go home and relax with a G&T. But for the love of god, do not put slices of cake on a greasy napkin and hand them out to the kids…awful practice. Much better to serve the cake so people can actually enjoy it in a civilised way. We serve cake to all the parents as well (another immigrant here).

Best ones I did were Star Wars books. I bought two 10-book sets from a remainder store, and gave them out with the wrapped up slice of cake. No more expensive than making up party bags and no plastic tat. They loved them.

Sticky yellow men thirded. I’ve had a particularly tenacious one on my kitchen ceiling beam since December 2018.

OP - they adore party bags, but it’s only for a short time. After age 7 I switched to £5 book tokens and a bit of cake in a paper napkin as the code for “time to fuck off home now”.

If everyone hates doing them, why are they a thing? "My 4 year old expects one when they go to a party"... maybe teach your child some manners that they should be happy they just got free food, free entertainment and a day out with their friends? My daughter is 4 and there's no way she would start kicking up a fuss after a party because she didn't get a bloody bag!

i think my DC looks forward to the party bag most in a strange sort of way 🤪

It’s become a tradition. I curse whoever started it. You don’t have to follow.
In my day the end of a party was signalled by the blowing out of candles, frantic slicing and wrapping while a final round of ‘pass the parcel’ took place and everyone being given a bit of cake wrapped in a napkin on the way out the door.

I did a lucky dip once with toys which matched the party theme. The children all got a bit of cake and a toy from the lucky dip - they were very excited and it was cheap to buy a set of toys.

Hahahahhaha

Hahahahaha. I'm usually already so exhausted from small talk and over stimulated by the party that I just want to leave and it's hell trying to peel DD away from the festivities. I love the sentence "If we don't leave now they might run out of party bags" because it works like a charm and she's in a great mood all the way home.

You say it’s a month away. My DS birthday is always around Easter and I used to give a small Easter egg instead of a party bag. No massive effort but always very well received especially if they got an egg to eat early!

Even for adults, it's totally normal to get a goodbye gift/goodie bag at exclusive marketing events, launch parties or galas. In most European balls, women are also gifted something at the event and it's a traditional that's been going since medieval times.

It's simply good etiquette to provide something to the guest as a thank you for taking the time too attend. And it's equally important that children learn their presence at a party is valued and they will receive a token thank you gift when leaving. Also gives them something to look forward to and extends the party feeling longer.

There's also an argument to be made for generosity. Of course, nobody is forced to spend over their budget but being a good host invariably means erring on the side of generosity. If in doubt, do more. A party bag is really not that big of a deal and not a single child would prefer a party without one. To be honest, the only parties we went to without party bags were from families who were notoriously stingy and frugal. It's felt "ok" as it was almost to be expected. But there's not point trying to frame the reason for not making bags as environmental, anti consumerism or some other faux-lofty cause, when everyone in the class DEFINITELY all know who the cheapskates are.