Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think male nursery workers should be banned for safety reasons?

433 replies

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:47

I KNOW most men who work in them are fine but sexual abuse in nurseries is overwhelmingly committed by men. No more men, much less abuse risk.
Yes we need more CCTV etc to watch bad women but it cuts SA risk immeasurably.

We can still have male primary teachers etc kids are old enough to speak up then.

And yes, you can ban on the basis of sex for safety reasons. In women's refuges, eg.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:35

I wonder what men's forums would say?

I might do a comparative thread on one.

OP posts:
CypressGrove · 13/02/2026 22:34

Midnights68 · 13/02/2026 22:28

Why do you think British ones might differ significantly? Are Australian men are unusually perverted?

Show quote history

I've seen some horrendous statistics about the proportion of men that have these tendencies and there wasn't large difference worldwide. I can't bring myself to search though because it was too disturbing.

Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:34

Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:33

I'm not saying either, but the OP has started a thread damning all male nursery workers over here based on Australian stats, so she's being disingenuous.

Show quote history

Where have I damned them all? I've said most are fine but the risk is too high.

OP posts:
balletflatblister · 13/02/2026 22:34

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:29

Yes, I mean, even if there were perfect protection, I'm unfortunately sure loads of paedophiles would still volunteer and talk about it on the Dark Web afterwards. 🤮

Show quote history

I'm not happy for my precious DC to be fodder in these men's minds, thanks.

Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:33

harrietm87 · 13/02/2026 21:08

Nurseries are for babies up to age 3-4. There is plenty of time for children to be exposed to “male role models” after that, even the ones who don’t have any male family members. It’s hardly like a 2 year old is going to see a male nursery worker and think “wow, so childcare work isn’t only for women”.

The priority should be children’s safety and a load of whataboutery saying that women abuse too, kids can be abused by family members, older kids can be abused…yes no one is saying that banning men from nurseries will stop all paedophiles, but it would eliminate some easy opportunities for a large number of them.

Nice men who just love working with kids can become a nanny (for those families who are fine with it) or an early years primary teacher or run beavers or something, and be a great male role model for children who might actually have some consciousness about what that would mean.

Exactly, when I was at secondary school one of my friends had a 'manny'. She was really fond of him. I am NOT opposed to men in caring roles. Saying ONE caring role should be off limits doesn't mean men should be barred from all!

OP posts:
Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:33

Midnights68 · 13/02/2026 22:28

Why do you think British ones might differ significantly? Are Australian men are unusually perverted?

Show quote history

I'm not saying either, but the OP has started a thread damning all male nursery workers over here based on Australian stats, so she's being disingenuous.

titdttlhm · 13/02/2026 22:31

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:30

Exactly, that's why they need to be banned.

Show quote history

As women have done harm of varying kinds too, then let's ban women too. Ban nurseries. Watch your own children. Problem eliminated.

balletflatblister · 13/02/2026 22:31

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:30

Exactly, that's why they need to be banned.

Show quote history

They're slowly getting it!

Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:30

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:27

Is it better here though?

Show quote history

Who knows, but you can't categorically state that men intent on abusing children are disproportionately likely to get jobs in nurseries here when you're basing your statement on a report about Australian offenders. It's disingenuous.

balletflatblister · 13/02/2026 22:30

titdttlhm · 13/02/2026 22:28

They don't have signs saying they are 'like that', do they?

Show quote history

No. Which is why the easy fix is to say no men in nurseries. Period. It's not worth the risk

sharkstale · 13/02/2026 22:30

SpiritAdder · 13/02/2026 22:01

Ah so in the case of dogs, you are in favour of extra safeguards to protect children, but not in the case of humans.

interesting

Show quote history

It's completely different when talking about dogs.

Saying that though, I'd never have a rescue dog as you don't know their background and if they might suddenly turn.

If you get a puppy, you raise it. You know it's temperament, you tend to know your own dog inside out. Even then, I'd never leave it alone with a baby/toddler (and I'm talking gentle breads).

Leaving your toddler with a male nursery worker is, using your reference to dogs, the equivalent of leaving them alone with a rescue dog. You've no idea what could happen.

Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:30

titdttlhm · 13/02/2026 22:28

They don't have signs saying they are 'like that', do they?

Show quote history

Exactly, that's why they need to be banned.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:29

Midnights68 · 13/02/2026 22:28

Why do you think British ones might differ significantly? Are Australian men are unusually perverted?

Show quote history

Exactly

OP posts:
Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:29

balletflatblister · 13/02/2026 22:25

Some of these comments astonish me honestly. The naivety is off the scale. Let's say safeguarding (cameras, changing babies in line of sight of everyone, two workers at a time and so on) was faultless. You don't think paedo men who literally design their lives around their perversions wouldn't try their luck and access these jobs anyway? You'd be ok with this hypothetical bloke touching your child because it's fine he can't actually do anything? I wouldn't risk my child breathing the same air as someone like that if I can possibly help it

Yes, I mean, even if there were perfect protection, I'm unfortunately sure loads of paedophiles would still volunteer and talk about it on the Dark Web afterwards. 🤮

OP posts:
Midnights68 · 13/02/2026 22:28

Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:24

You're quoting Australian stats though!

Show quote history

Why do you think British ones might differ significantly? Are Australian men are unusually perverted?

titdttlhm · 13/02/2026 22:28

balletflatblister · 13/02/2026 22:25

Some of these comments astonish me honestly. The naivety is off the scale. Let's say safeguarding (cameras, changing babies in line of sight of everyone, two workers at a time and so on) was faultless. You don't think paedo men who literally design their lives around their perversions wouldn't try their luck and access these jobs anyway? You'd be ok with this hypothetical bloke touching your child because it's fine he can't actually do anything? I wouldn't risk my child breathing the same air as someone like that if I can possibly help it

They don't have signs saying they are 'like that', do they?

Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:27

Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:24

You're quoting Australian stats though!

Show quote history

Is it better here though?

OP posts:
Midnights68 · 13/02/2026 22:27

SpiritAdder · 13/02/2026 21:54

Dogs are probably as much of a threat as pedophiles. 1,600 children hospitalised annually due to dog bites.

Maybe we should ban families with children from having dogs.

I think comparing dog bites to rape and sexual abuse is really offensive and minimises sexual abuse.

And as other posters have pointed out, we do in fact ban the breeds of dog most likely to harm people (particularly children).

balletflatblister · 13/02/2026 22:25

Some of these comments astonish me honestly. The naivety is off the scale. Let's say safeguarding (cameras, changing babies in line of sight of everyone, two workers at a time and so on) was faultless. You don't think paedo men who literally design their lives around their perversions wouldn't try their luck and access these jobs anyway? You'd be ok with this hypothetical bloke touching your child because it's fine he can't actually do anything? I wouldn't risk my child breathing the same air as someone like that if I can possibly help it

Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:24

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:22

Here, underlining mine.

research shows men with a sexual interest in children are disproportionately more likely to work with children, including in early education and care. Data shows that one in 20 men in the Australian community are motivated offenders (individuals who reported both sexual interest in and offending against children). However, they are almost three times more likely to work with children compared with other men.

Those who deliberately pursue employment with children to abuse them are often referred to as “professional perpetrators”. These individuals typically have multiple victims and pose a high risk of repeated offences

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/jul/04/childcare-centres-must-put-child-protection-above-profits-and-fears-of-appearing-biased-against-men

Show quote history

You're quoting Australian stats though!

Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:23

titdttlhm · 13/02/2026 22:21

OK, fair enough. I think it's not that easy to get away with things in most nurseries but there are obviously cracks that some are finding to take advantage of.

Show quote history

I hope not...

OP posts:
Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:22

Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:20

But bad men are disproportionately likely to work in nurseries.

What are you basing this statement on? Statistics or just your own opinion?

Edited
Show quote history

Here, underlining mine.

research shows men with a sexual interest in children are disproportionately more likely to work with children, including in early education and care. Data shows that one in 20 men in the Australian community are motivated offenders (individuals who reported both sexual interest in and offending against children). However, they are almost three times more likely to work with children compared with other men.

Those who deliberately pursue employment with children to abuse them are often referred to as “professional perpetrators”. These individuals typically have multiple victims and pose a high risk of repeated offences

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/jul/04/childcare-centres-must-put-child-protection-above-profits-and-fears-of-appearing-biased-against-men

Childcare centres must put child protection above profits and fears of appearing biased against men | Delanie Woodlock and Lenka Olejnikova for the Conversation

Unlike families, institutions that work with children can be effectively regulated, making child sexual abuse entirely preventable

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/jul/04/childcare-centres-must-put-child-protection-above-profits-and-fears-of-appearing-biased-against-men

OP posts:
titdttlhm · 13/02/2026 22:21

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:18

You misunderstand my point- I don't think I put it very clearly, I'm sorry.

To clarify : MOST men who work in nurseries ARE good. But bad men are disproportionately likely to work in nurseries. The while concern is about that,NOT because I think MOST men in general, or most men who work in nurseries, are bad.

Show quote history

OK, fair enough. I think it's not that easy to get away with things in most nurseries but there are obviously cracks that some are finding to take advantage of.

Original poster
Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:20

Gonewiththetwins · 13/02/2026 20:54

You’ll likely be flamed for this opinion, as MN in particular seem to have a large bunch who really take offence at this topic.. however, I’m in complete agreement with you.

I have no issue with male primary school teachers etc (no toileting support needed and the child is usually fully verbal and able to flag concerns etc by this age) but feel VERY uncomfortable with the idea of a man having unsupervised access to babies/young toddlers private parts whilst changing nappies/supporting with toileting etc, so much so we refused to have a male nursery worker do any toileting/changing for our 2 year old twin daughters- our children, our choice and the nursery respected this.

sadly CSA is disproportionately more likely to be carried out by a man than a woman, and whilst I totally agree it’s ’not all men’ we weren’t willing to roll the dice on those odds when our children are at such a vulnerable age.

It's interesting as the previous AIBU where I discussed this was far more unanimous.

Yet since I returned the poll has gone from firmly BU to nearly 50-50.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5437394-ban-male-nursery-workers

Ban male nursery workers? | Mumsnet

I came across this article which has left me quite sick. [[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cze665j2y51o.amp https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5437394-ban-male-nursery-workers

OP posts:
Passingthrough123 · 13/02/2026 22:20

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 22:18

You misunderstand my point- I don't think I put it very clearly, I'm sorry.

To clarify : MOST men who work in nurseries ARE good. But bad men are disproportionately likely to work in nurseries. The while concern is about that,NOT because I think MOST men in general, or most men who work in nurseries, are bad.

Show quote history

But bad men are disproportionately likely to work in nurseries.

What are you basing this statement on? Statistics or just your own opinion?

Swipe left for the next trending thread