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To think male nursery workers should be banned for safety reasons?

433 replies

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:47

I KNOW most men who work in them are fine but sexual abuse in nurseries is overwhelmingly committed by men. No more men, much less abuse risk.
Yes we need more CCTV etc to watch bad women but it cuts SA risk immeasurably.

We can still have male primary teachers etc kids are old enough to speak up then.

And yes, you can ban on the basis of sex for safety reasons. In women's refuges, eg.

OP posts:
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sharkstale · 14/02/2026 07:57

MyLimeGuide · 14/02/2026 07:50

Women are more likely to be bullies in the workplace should women be banned from working? They can all stay at home with their children protecting them from the males (potential kiddy fiddlers)

I'm referring more to being physically violent, which is what SA and rape are, towards other people. In which case, yes. If women were frequently in the news for SA other members of staff then yes, it should be acceptable. As it happens, it's men that are frequently reported for sexual harassment in the workplace.

See the recurring theme here. Men.

Waitingandwondering · 14/02/2026 07:55

hoarahloux · 13/02/2026 19:57

It isn't a man issue. It's a safeguarding issue.

Why was Vincent Chan ever allowed to be alone with a child long enough to rape them? Why was Vanessa George alone with a child long enough to take sexual images of them?

I don't think CCTV is the answer, particularly as it would be completely inappropriate to have CCTV in toilet or changing areas. Early years settings need to have robust safeguarding arrangements. If that means no staff is ever alone with a child, that's what needs to happen. That won't be popular because it means settings need more staff. It would mean settings not working on skeleton staff barely meeting ratios. It means proper funding, not what they currently get.

Day nurseries scrape by on the minimum staffing required, using building ratio and other loopholes and that's why these terrible events can happen. It needs to change. Banning men would be the cheap and easy way and still leave children in danger. But no one wants to hear that, least of all the government.

Absolutely. We need more staff. Only 2 staff for 16 three year olds. If a child needs changing due to having an accident in the toilet, an adult goes to change them where they are (in the toilet).
The other adult then has 15 children to oversee. The soiled or wet child can't be brought back into the room with the other staff member and children. They have to be cleaned up where they are. This can take a good 5 minutes! The adult with 15 children is merely fire fighting at this point, trying to keep them all safe, so can't be watching what is happening in the toilets.

This doesn't take into account the large number of children age 3-4 in a nappy. Its not dignified for them to be changed in the classroom even if you do have a screen. The toilet door is open obviously, but staff are vulnerable. Until funding is addressed, ratios will never improve.

MyLimeGuide · 14/02/2026 07:50

sharkstale · 14/02/2026 07:41

Not "because they are men". Because they pose a greater risk.

You're phrasing it wrong.

If women posed an increased risk in certain areas of the workplace, it should be acceptable to stop them also. It's about risk. Similar to the argument re trans in womens toilets. Most women don't feel safe with a biological man in their spaces. Why are so many women okay to impose this on their vulnerable children when they're not accepting of it for their own safety?

Women are more likely to be bullies in the workplace should women be banned from working? They can all stay at home with their children protecting them from the males (potential kiddy fiddlers)

Thelostjewels · 14/02/2026 07:49

Maybe we need stronger education for children.

There is a charity who said teaching toddlers empathy in nurseries helps to lower attacks on girls later
Maybe it needs to become a priority.snd respect for girls drummed in.

I was told some awful things being said by year 6 primary schools boys to the girls and when I told the school I got silence back.

Another teacher said it's only banter

sharkstale · 14/02/2026 07:41

SouthLondonMum22 · 14/02/2026 00:48

It would send the message that caring for babies = women's work which is already an issue in society.

Not to mention the issues surrounding equality laws in the work place and the can of worms it could very well open. If we can decide that men can't do a job because they are men, the same thing will absolutely happen to women in the work place because it would become more acceptable.

Edited

Not "because they are men". Because they pose a greater risk.

You're phrasing it wrong.

If women posed an increased risk in certain areas of the workplace, it should be acceptable to stop them also. It's about risk. Similar to the argument re trans in womens toilets. Most women don't feel safe with a biological man in their spaces. Why are so many women okay to impose this on their vulnerable children when they're not accepting of it for their own safety?

ImDoneOnceAndForAll2 · 14/02/2026 01:36

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:47

I KNOW most men who work in them are fine but sexual abuse in nurseries is overwhelmingly committed by men. No more men, much less abuse risk.
Yes we need more CCTV etc to watch bad women but it cuts SA risk immeasurably.

We can still have male primary teachers etc kids are old enough to speak up then.

And yes, you can ban on the basis of sex for safety reasons. In women's refuges, eg.

Male Primary school teachers are ok cause kids are 'old enough to speak up'
You have no idea!!!!!
The majority of children will not 'Speak up'

Im not saying there shouldnt be male teachers.
Im saying your ignorance is quite something!

Carla786 · 14/02/2026 01:31

CanIHelpItIfImALittleTense · 14/02/2026 01:14

De facto this is the real world choice that exists, yes.

My daughter's former nursery employed two men the term after she left and there was quite an exodus of customers.

It would be inconvenient to move a tot, sure- but not the worst case scenario

Edited

That's very telling.

And yes, I totally get people moving though it's inconvenient. It would be much better to have the option of all female-carer nurseries.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 14/02/2026 01:30

CanIHelpItIfImALittleTense · 14/02/2026 01:13

Yep. Those defenceless babies right not to be sexually abused trumps any man's "right" to work with them.

Yes!

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GaIadriel · 14/02/2026 01:22

Women commit the majority of child abuse though. It's only sexual abuse where men are the main perpetrators.

CanIHelpItIfImALittleTense · 14/02/2026 01:14

Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:53

I've been thinking...

Maybe an option could be legally, some nurseries could officially only employ female staff, and some could employ both. So parents would have the choice.

That's de facto how it is anyway, except it it's important to parents that their nursery has no male staff then they may have to move at any point.

De facto this is the real world choice that exists, yes.

My daughter's former nursery employed two men the term after she left and there was quite an exodus of customers.

It would be inconvenient to move a tot, sure- but not the worst case scenario

CanIHelpItIfImALittleTense · 14/02/2026 01:13

Yep. Those defenceless babies right not to be sexually abused trumps any man's "right" to work with them.

SouthLondonMum22 · 14/02/2026 00:56

Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:53

I've been thinking...

Maybe an option could be legally, some nurseries could officially only employ female staff, and some could employ both. So parents would have the choice.

That's de facto how it is anyway, except it it's important to parents that their nursery has no male staff then they may have to move at any point.

How could that be an option legally with gender discrimination and equality laws in the work place?

Nurseries are not female only spaces and are not protected under that.

Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:53

I've been thinking...

Maybe an option could be legally, some nurseries could officially only employ female staff, and some could employ both. So parents would have the choice.

That's de facto how it is anyway, except it it's important to parents that their nursery has no male staff then they may have to move at any point.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:51

CypressGrove · 14/02/2026 00:42

The list of reasons to keep men in childcare is getting more ridiculous.
If a man is too stupid to distinguish between men not being able to work in childcare because of the greater risk the male sex poses in terms of sexual abuse versus women being better at changing nappies then he shouldn't be breeding in the first place.
And if his argument is that it isn't safe for him to change nappies then he shouldn't be anywhere near a baby, his own or otherwise.

Great post

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SouthLondonMum22 · 14/02/2026 00:48

CypressGrove · 14/02/2026 00:42

The list of reasons to keep men in childcare is getting more ridiculous.
If a man is too stupid to distinguish between men not being able to work in childcare because of the greater risk the male sex poses in terms of sexual abuse versus women being better at changing nappies then he shouldn't be breeding in the first place.
And if his argument is that it isn't safe for him to change nappies then he shouldn't be anywhere near a baby, his own or otherwise.

It would send the message that caring for babies = women's work which is already an issue in society.

Not to mention the issues surrounding equality laws in the work place and the can of worms it could very well open. If we can decide that men can't do a job because they are men, the same thing will absolutely happen to women in the work place because it would become more acceptable.

CypressGrove · 14/02/2026 00:42

SouthLondonMum22 · 14/02/2026 00:02

Some dads would use it as an excuse.

''Can't you do the nappies? We aren't even allowed to work in nurseries, women are better at this stuff than men''.

The list of reasons to keep men in childcare is getting more ridiculous.
If a man is too stupid to distinguish between men not being able to work in childcare because of the greater risk the male sex poses in terms of sexual abuse versus women being better at changing nappies then he shouldn't be breeding in the first place.
And if his argument is that it isn't safe for him to change nappies then he shouldn't be anywhere near a baby, his own or otherwise.

ffsnewusername · 14/02/2026 00:39

Yes 100%. I also think all nurseries should have full cctv which parents can access via an app.

I refuse to send my DC to nursery or have a childminder. I come from a village where one of the nursery nurses/sons adult son abused half of my brother class. Dozens of lives ruined. I keep men as far away from my DC as I can.

Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:21

Circe7 · 14/02/2026 00:16

Well 25% of children grow up in a single parent family including my own.

If you just ban men from working in nurseries and its stops there there probably isn’t much impact.

But I think it’s more pervasive. You give men the impression that wanting to care for a young child is suspicious and they won’t do it, even if family.

Sports coaches might have some relationship with a kid but many would probably keep a degree of distance now. Same with teachers etc.

My uncle talked about his football coach taking him home after every match and what an important figure he was to him. I don’t think that would happen now. And I wouldn’t let my own children drive home alone with a coach.

So I actually don’t think a lot of children do have strong male role models. They might have some relationships with men but they’re often quite distant/ professional or overseen by a parent. Which is good from a safeguarding perspective but something is lost for it. And I’d put that partially to blame for the mental health issues teenagers are having now.

I get that re single parents but surely at least some of those have contact with a father? I know they are often bad.

What about grandfathers? Uncles? Family friends?

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Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:20

hoarahloux · 14/02/2026 00:18

This is a whole other issue that you're apparently completely unaware of somehow.

Explaining difficult and upsetting things is part of parenting. You can't shield your child from everything disturbing forever.

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hoarahloux · 14/02/2026 00:18

Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:14

Well their parents should explain it to them in a logical and sensitive way. I don't like that but as you say they will find out.

This is a whole other issue that you're apparently completely unaware of somehow.

Circe7 · 14/02/2026 00:16

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 23:43

And if boys grow up with only female influence or contact with unrelated males only with a female chaperone and where the man is held in some suspicion what are they going to think about men

  • they should have dads, grandads, uncles, teachers, coaches, etc A male teacher etc does not need a female chaperone.

Well 25% of children grow up in a single parent family including my own.

If you just ban men from working in nurseries and its stops there there probably isn’t much impact.

But I think it’s more pervasive. You give men the impression that wanting to care for a young child is suspicious and they won’t do it, even if family.

Sports coaches might have some relationship with a kid but many would probably keep a degree of distance now. Same with teachers etc.

My uncle talked about his football coach taking him home after every match and what an important figure he was to him. I don’t think that would happen now. And I wouldn’t let my own children drive home alone with a coach.

So I actually don’t think a lot of children do have strong male role models. They might have some relationships with men but they’re often quite distant/ professional or overseen by a parent. Which is good from a safeguarding perspective but something is lost for it. And I’d put that partially to blame for the mental health issues teenagers are having now.

Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:14

Circe7 · 14/02/2026 00:08

Sure but we’re talking about an impression which boys are getting about themselves as to what society / the government thinks of them.

They’re not for the most part going to be working through that type of statistical argument.

Well their parents should explain it to them in a logical and sensitive way. I don't like that but as you say they will find out.

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Carla786 · 14/02/2026 00:13

Circe7 · 14/02/2026 00:00

I don’t think toddlers are going to pick up on the ban. It’s that I think it would be a slippery slope to further bans or at the least intensify a culture where boys are basically seen as a problem. Which obviously they pick up on as they get older.

It should NOT be a slippery slope to further bans or a boy hostile culture. Logically it does not need to be.

It's about protecting boys AND girls from a motivated & dangerous minority of deviant men, NOT demonising all boys and men.

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steff13 · 14/02/2026 00:13

balletflatblister · 13/02/2026 22:18

Some discrimination is justified. We don't allow children to work because of their age. We require people over a certain age to retake their driving tests. And so on. Some groups of people are suitable for some activities, others not. It's case by case not just omg discrimination = mean and bad. In this specific case and for reasons provided at length, men should not be nursery nurses

I think this is what you would call a "slippery slope."

BestZebbie · 14/02/2026 00:10

AliMonkey · 13/02/2026 20:11

Problem with only changing child in line of sight of another adult is the children being changed have no privacy (as realistically early years settings can’t afford to have enough staff for two to go out of the main room to change them). That’s not right either - and would mean having to ban parents from ever entering the room which is itself a risk and as a parent I’d be wondering what they were trying to hide.

Male workers generally are great in early years - at least in my experience and banning them would send the wrong message.

In every case I can recall being reported in news, lack of safeguarding was the issue -particularly in it going on for a long period- in that people didn’t report suspicions or there were unsafe practices (eg iPad should never be taken to changing room, phones banned, references need to be followed up)

Line of sight can be overcome - the nursery we used had an L-shaped room with the changing area in the shared corner, walled off from one "leg" by lockers but visible (end-on) from one side of the other room for the full length of the room. Children's toilet cubicles and potties were also in this area. When someone was using the changing area to change a baby another member of staff stood in the half of the room where they could see behind the lockers and kept an eye out but were still physically in the main area with the rest of the children and could see what was going on there too - the other children couldn't see anything as the table was above their head height and the top of the changee's head was all that was visible to them. Parents could come in at any time (via the many entry security measures) but would be briefly guided away from the angle where they could see behind the lockers if there was a change in progress.