Page 3 | To worry that Dd is becoming a not very nice person

Lifeislikeaboxofdairymilk · 2026-02-13T16:47:52+00:00

I adore Dd (almost 8) so much She was a happy, energetic, fun girl growing up…she still is..sometimes. The rest of the time she’s moany, cross and rude at times. We’ve always brought her up to have good manners and be a good person, but as awful as it sounds, sometimes she’s just not that likeable 😔 I put so much effort into everything for her, she never wants for anything (not in a spoilt way) she’s an only child and i’m very hands on, but now nothing is good enough for her, she complains about everything and it’s really bringing me down. Is this normal? Sometimes I wonder why I put so much effort in as there’s really no point. I look back at her younger years and feel so sad

Original poster

Lifeislikeaboxofdairymilk · 13/02/2026 17:04

Screamingabdabz · 13/02/2026 17:01

You have to toughen up and shrug off some of her whingey behaviour or you’ll go mad. You can’t take on board every little disappointment or fall in her life.

And also encourage her resilience by saying “yes I know it’s annoying not to win but never mind, we tried our best. Let’s think of something fun we can do to cheer ourselves up..” and if she grumps at that, just leave her. Carry on with a chirpy upbeat normality (even if it’s an Oscar worthy act) and she’ll eventually get over it.

Don’t make the mistake of getting hyper focussed on every little mini drama she has.

It’s not so much the moaning, annoying as it is I can cope with it, she can be really quite hurtful with the things she says and comes across as spoilt and ungrateful

OP posts:

Screamingabdabz · 13/02/2026 17:01

You have to toughen up and shrug off some of her whingey behaviour or you’ll go mad. You can’t take on board every little disappointment or fall in her life.

And also encourage her resilience by saying “yes I know it’s annoying not to win but never mind, we tried our best. Let’s think of something fun we can do to cheer ourselves up..” and if she grumps at that, just leave her. Carry on with a chirpy upbeat normality (even if it’s an Oscar worthy act) and she’ll eventually get over it.

Don’t make the mistake of getting hyper focussed on every little mini drama she has.

Original poster

Lifeislikeaboxofdairymilk · 13/02/2026 16:55

WhyWouldSomeoneDoThat · 13/02/2026 16:51

it sounds like she’s started the tweens stage, beginnings of hormonal fluctuations and mood swings! Mine did this and was sometimes just so unpleasant a big pain in the arse! But then after a few weeks she was happy again and then it would change again.

How long has she been like this? bear with her, if it is hormonal, it’s just a phase that will likely dip in and out of.

that being said, I’d also be asking questions about what else is going on in case there’s bullying at school or any thing else that is making her unhappy/frustrated.

But she’s only 7.5 😬

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Original poster

Lifeislikeaboxofdairymilk · 13/02/2026 16:54

peachgreen · 13/02/2026 16:49

Sounds pretty normal from what you've written. They have a big hormone surge at this age, so it's almost like having a mini teenager! I think you have to keep modelling the kind of behaviour you want to see, rewarding her when she demonstrates it and talking it through when she falls short of expectations and trust she'll come out the other side.

It’s hard to know how to react correctly.
A recent example is something I helped her with for school, spent a fair bit of money and time making it, she liked it, but was then upset when she didn’t win the competition and said she felt ashamed and I should have done what a couple of the other mums did. I wouldn’t mind but many did not put effort in (bought the items) not judging at all as totally get it, but it was a slap in the face after I put so much effort in for her

OP posts:

WhyWouldSomeoneDoThat · 13/02/2026 16:51

it sounds like she’s started the tweens stage, beginnings of hormonal fluctuations and mood swings! Mine did this and was sometimes just so unpleasant a big pain in the arse! But then after a few weeks she was happy again and then it would change again.

How long has she been like this? bear with her, if it is hormonal, it’s just a phase that will likely dip in and out of.

that being said, I’d also be asking questions about what else is going on in case there’s bullying at school or any thing else that is making her unhappy/frustrated.

peachgreen · 13/02/2026 16:49

Sounds pretty normal from what you've written. They have a big hormone surge at this age, so it's almost like having a mini teenager! I think you have to keep modelling the kind of behaviour you want to see, rewarding her when she demonstrates it and talking it through when she falls short of expectations and trust she'll come out the other side.