AIBU To Think Remote Work Isn't Sustainable?

I don't like WFH for women with families, as they often end up working and doing childcare. Good for no one.

As for talking to collegues, mine are nice enough, but I'd rather be at home, reading or napping in the breaks.

And there's no cats at work.

I could not sustain a full time job and take care of two young children without the flexibility that WFH provides. I also manage a large team and have lots of work meetings so spend most of my time talking to people and co-ordinating between people to get work done. Most mums I know with primary school aged children do not work full time as it is a hard slog trying to do it all. Just not having the daily commute gives me time to food prep, exercise etc. If I had to go in every day I would not be able to sustain this without it having adverse impact on my physical and mental health.
WFH does not suit everyone and if it is not for you then you should look for a hybrid or full office role.

She’s not complaining about working from home though is she? She’s in office 3 days a week. OP is complaining because she doesn’t speak to anyone all day, when completing work tasks or for coffee breaks! That’s not a location issue!

Then go back to the office? Just because its not suitable for you doesnt mean it isnt for others. Many disabled work from home.

I've worked from home since we were sent home in 2020. I speak to people constantly, I would rather have more quiet, uninterrupted working time.

I think it depends on your organisation. We are very present all the time, to the extent that I'm far more cautious about going to the loo or getting a drink than I was in the office, we are in a big group chat, so online starts is always in our eye lines.

We are now in the office 1 day every week. Buildings have been decommissioned, there is not the capacity for everyone to be in the office every day.

Working from home is good for families. I can start as soon as the DC have gone off to school by 8, when I finish at 5/5.30 I get on with walking the dog and cooking.

Having a dog would no longer be feasible for me if I was not WFH. My DC are secondary school age with some additional needs. It would be very difficult for them (and me) without the reassurance of a parent/adult in the house when they get home. I'm not doing any active parenting (before anyone takes issue), but I am there and can take a break (approved and recorded) if something comes up.

When I was in the office when they were younger, I had childcare in place, that provision is not available for teenagers. I feel like it is benefitting my DC enormously to have 2 income household and a parent at home. It is great for stability in families and a safeguard against development of anti-social behaviour. Very different to my own teenage years.

My mum can drop my Dad (with Dementia)round to watch TV in my house if she has an appointment and know that there is someone in the house.

It is really good for my spouse too. I just wish it was the other way round.

I understand WFH does not suit everyone, but demonisation of WFH generally is anti family and anti society.

I go into the office every day for this reason. I want to see real people, leave the house every day, it’s better for my mental health. Remote working might suit working mums, but it’s also really hard for young people growing the workforce like this.

You seem to think people WFH are chilling all day! 😂 My DH is a doctor and had surgery recently which needed him to rest for 6 weeks. I work almost entirely from home except for 1 office day a month. He too was absolutely amazed at how stacked my calendar was with meetings and how I rarely even got a chance to eat lunch. He said he preferred his job which even though busy still allowed him to have coffee breaks and lunch more days and was overall less full on. And he is a hospital doc so quite busy. I agree there might be some people who WFH and do nothing but those are the same people who sit in office, go on endless smoke breaks, coffee, loo breaks or just spend time chatting with colleagues and calling networking etc.

I work remotely 4 days a week and spend most of that time talking in meetings, my job has minimal admin attached to it. Depends entirely on the job surely

I don’t think you’re unreasonable for feeling that way but you are unreasonable if you think your experience is reflective of everyone who WFH. My office days a full of people, I can go in as often as I want and would be sat with 10-15 people depending on the day. The only days our office is ‘quiet’ is a Mon & Fri but realistically there’s still people around just in other teams. If it doesn’t suit you by all means find an organisation that does.

I just have autism, but totally willing to swop it for a flat in Clapham if that's on the table.

OP @HighlandsExpat YANBU at all.

but you will get flamed by the WFH brigade on here who

• had a flat in Clapham during the pandemic
• cashed it in for ££ and moved to Stroud or Stamford or wherever
• are now terrified that 4 days a week in person could be coming to their sector, so spend every thread aggressively defending WFH, in case they’ll be asked to pay £90 a day from their new “impossible” commute, and actually have to pay for childcare, or do washing cycles before and after commute.

This is the problem - no one can have a nuanced debate about WFH vs in office in here, because the former camp are so , so strident about what they gained, and defend it to the hilt.

Sincerely, someone with a fully remote job who chooses occasionally to go into the office (the horror!) for the very reason OP described

I’m neurodiverse and the office environment isn’t sustainable for me. It’s great that these options exist. Once or twice a week is good for me.

You work in the office the majority of the time. So when you’re in the office do you chat to the people there. Or do you not really chat to them/form closer bonds as they’re not in your team?

My team is scattered in different offices so I rarely see them in person. So whilst I do work several days in the office i personally can find it can be quite lonely working in the office. There are others in the office but it’s not quite the same and requires more effort. So I get your point.

For me, I see that more as a function of multiple offices rather than hybrid working. If everyone worked in the office 100% I’d still not see my team.

Are you generally just grumpy and this is why you don’t speak to anyone?

You are in the office 3 days per week, you are not ‘remote’. It doesn’t matter you are not in the same physical location as your immediate team. Make an effort and talk to the colleagues around you. It doesn’t need to be this hard.

I WFH on occasion and LOVE the isolation. I'm ND and mostly excluded from the girls' club because I'm not into caravanning/football/tennis so it's great to not have that constant reminder.

I'd do it full time if I could. I can go all day at work & only see people on morning tea anyway. We mosy communicate via email - they even call between offices & it's about 5 metres away!!

I don’t work remotely, but almost the whole of the rest of the team does, so I feel like I’m remote without the benefits of being at home. I started a year ago this week, and I still feel like I’ve only just arrived. I don’t know the first thing about any of my colleagues, the osmosis of knowledge about a job and business that you get from working with others, or even just overhearing workplace conversations just hasn’t happened. It feels really inefficient to me, and it’s the most miserable I’ve ever been in a job.

I’m not sure it’s the same for my colleagues!

I don't understand - don't you talk to the people in the same office as you?

Works for me. I work from home and travel about once a week to work events. I lead a national team, predominantly women based all around the UK. Majority are parents and wouldn’t be able to commute daily. They are incredibly productive. I don’t stop talking to people all day but maybe that’s my line of work.

There’s always been types of work that are on their own and isolating.

shepherd in the hills. Rural hill farmer whee it’s miles to the next farm. Lighthouse keeper. Etc etc

some people love those jobs.

other people need the company of other people and they are totally unsuited to those jobs and need to work in close proximity to people.

then there’s jobs that are working at home but constantly talking to people - a friend of mine does shifts in a breastfeeding helpline. She works from home - needs a home office and headphones - but is constantly talking to people as she takes calls pretty much all the time.

there’s many more kinds of jobs than just standard corporate.

I WFH full time and speak to people all day on Teams. Have a chat with DH (also WFH) when I go make my cuppa. Of course it's sustainable - it works for many people.

When are certain people going to bore off about this?

But the OP is hybrid and in office 3 days per week and still not speaking to anyone. Her issue is not with location.

I am also hybrid. I spend my whole day, speaking to colleagues either face to face or virtually because that’s what my role entails.

I don’t see the point of how your post equates to remote working. You would ‘say nothing’ whether you were in the office or at home. It’s the role itself that’s isolating, not the location.

I am also hybrid. My team is in another city. I make an effort to speak to the people around me in the office and have nice conversations with them, even if they are not in my immediate team.

I have a love/hate relationship with working from home. Some days I love it, some days I hate it. There are aspects of being in the office I miss but then I think I couldn't go back full-time.

I actually prefer working from home, feel my office day is pointless unless I have in person meetings as I sit there doing nothing I couldn't do at home. I went in this week for an in person meeting then went home as the rest of my day was meetings on Teams. Office days only work if everyone else in my team is in.

But then sometimes I find myself not leaving the house or speaking to a human when working from home. I have become more 'anti-social' since working from home too.

I’d have hated it in my 20s/30s

WFH job adverts are reducing anyway. So for some companies it’s clearly not working as well.

Nah not good for you.

Excellent for me. Autistic very introverted with physical disability too. Many disabled people are enabled to work this way, so if it’s taken away the daily mail PIP benefits brigade won’t be happy at less of us working! I work 416 Km away from my nearest office because the local one closed/was sold.

Works for some roles, doesn’t for some, works for some people and doesn’t work for others. We’re all different and I think the choice and option should be there if it works for the job.