AIBU To Think Remote Work Isn't Sustainable?

I think you are being unreasonable because you are judging WFH solely on your experience of it. Not everyone shares the loneliness you are experiencing.
i did it 3 days a week out of 5 for 8 years and never once felt lonely or isolated. I’d chat to colleagues on the phone regularly and was too busy doing actual work to feel isolated.

OP you’ve said your team are in another city. Why aren’t you attending the office where your team work? Surely the main point of attending the office from the businesses perspective would be to work collaboratively. Presumably you don’t because it would be a horrendous commute. I think many companies have recognised the far vaster pool of talent they have to recruit from if they can offer remote working or hybrid attendance.

People have lived and worked within their homes or within their "village" at most for centuries/millennia.

The office is a relatively recent invention.

I'm not denying the need for social interaction, but I think it would be fundamentally healthier if we had more local co-working facilities.

I get a lot out of going to a local cafe to work - it has more people doing my sort of role than in my actual office!

Obviously everyone is different. I love speaking on the phone but it is not the same as being physically present with people. I work in the office most of the time.

It is a harder place to work now most people are hybrid, as different people are in each day and all meetings online because someone is always at home. It feels much more chaotic as you never get used to the rhythms/sounds of the people sitting nearby.

I know loads of people love it but I find talking to people through a screen as a default communication pretty unpleasant.

I've been wfh since before the pandemic. I started work at 8am this morning having waved off the kids. I will now work until 4pm when they come home...
I will pop a wash on at midday and empty the dishwasher at some point... but I am effectively getting my full time hours in and being here for my kids without any child care.

Why would I want this to change?

I’ve found it impossible to find a job even with mandated office days. Everything and everyone just seems to be remote now.

I think this role and possibly future remote positions aren’t sustainable for you as a person. It sounds like you need to be surrounded by others.

I do feel remote working overall is sustainable. A lot is down to personality type and those that beat the anti remote drum are the ones that need to be surrounded by others. Good news is, there are plenty of companies that like their team onsite. I suggest finding one of those and save the hybrid/remote options for those that thrive working in that way

If you are in the office three days a week why are you not speaking to anyone? Don't understand that. During COVID we worked from home on an open zoom call, would that suit you better?

Don't you just love people who lecture others on what's best for their mental health?

If YOU don't find WFH works for you, then fill your boots and go into the office 5 days a week.

Me? I get my social interaction from family and friends and don't need to converse or socialise with work colleagues, in whom, I probably wouldn't be people I'd choose to have in my life (nice as they are), but for the fact that I am forced into a world where we have to interact, because we were all hired by the company.

I haven't read all the comments.

No I dont think it is either. But people are different.

I work hybrid. 1 day in the office with whole team and I carry out client visits too. We have an office we can pop into but it's 45 mins away.

I wouldn't work 45 mins away if I was based in the office ft

I like doing 1 day from home - like a catch up on paperwork treat day but anymore than that and I'm bored out of my mind.

I really miss talking to colleagues and my in office day is my favourite.

People weren't built to sit at home and communicate via teams. If we weren't 'forced' to go into the office a couple of years back i would have left my job. Its awful.

Are you in the UK, OP? I notice your Americanised spellings.

Wherever you are, if your current job isn’t meeting all of your needs, the obvious solution is to find another one which suits you better.

I was surprised by Farage’s press conference on this (on a Monday afternoon filled with people clearly not in their workplace), as it seems very nanny state and also massively hypocritical. I’d love to know how Richard Tice’s commute from Dubai to Skegness works.

Surely it’s horses for courses. Some people love the buzziness of an office and others prefer hybrid or wfh. My last company wanted me back f/t in the office after being hybrid for 3+ years. I managed to negotiate 1 day at home (loads of reasons why, one being medical issues which they knew about). I left within the year.
Hybrid is best of both worlds imho, it was good to have the connection a couple of days ago week, then a relief being at home. I def had fewer sick days as sometimes I wouldn’t feel well enough to go in but ok to sit at my desk at home.

Sustainable for whom? For the employer it will be sustainable as long as the work gets done and unless it can get done more effectively in person.

Some roles are perfectly suited to being remote. I'm in a professional role where we bill our clients for our time and almost always have just one person on each project. It's nice to go into the office and see people but ultimately my core job needs just me to get my head down and do the work alone, as my company can't charge for internal meetings/catch ups with colleagues.

That's not for everyone but that doesn't mean it's not sustainable as a role. Remote working has actually been a godsend for those with caring responsibilities in our profession (in the vast majority of cases, women). Rather than spending 3 odd hours on the commute each day and having to scramble to make drop offs and pick ups, that time can go directly into work. There's no longer such a gulf in terms of the time available to those who have such responsibilities and those who don't.

My entire team are remote (and have been since pre pandemic) and I make sure there are regular opportunities for people to come together - for both work and social purposes. Those who want that contact really embrace it, those who dont want it (i have a high % of ND team members) are also happy. I tailor things to ensure everyone has the in person contact they want and need. Because of the nature of the role, we also debrief by phone at the end of the working day and I also have regular 1:1 meetings either by Teams or in person, depending on people's preferences.

In short, remote working works well (and is sustainable) if its managed well.

I like working from home, I go into the office 1 day a week and its so loud

If you don’t enjoy it there are many roles where you have to be in an office every day.

Free up the hybrid roles for those who want to work hybrid or wfh.

Since COVID I've had a go at all three - fully remote, hybrid and fully onsite. Being in the office 98% of the time has definitely made me happier. I work better, move around more, engage in more non-work-related chat and laughter. My relationships with colleagues are stronger. I snack less. And the cycle commute keeps me fit and is pleasant (when it's not raining!)

I know it's not for everyone, but I feel a bit sorry for people who have to be fully remote due to their circumstances.

I think it's six and two threes. I loved it when DD was little and there was CONSTANT talking all the time on her terms - it was bliss to just do one thing at a time, quietly, at my own pace. Now she's older and shut in her room all the time, I am finding it more isolating. I am much better at my job and a lot more efficient, though. I have ADHD and find distractions incredibly difficult to shut out, even when they are normal office level and unintentional.

I personally didn't feel the relationships in the office were a net gain. They were more socially draining because of work boundaries, but not rewarding the way a true relationship with actual social opportunities is. I don't know how much of that is just having to fake normal at work, though. I much prefer just being evaluated on my paid for performance without my social barriers colouring people's opinions of me and I can save my social batteries for people I choose to socialise with.

To everyone saying how isolating remote working is: do you never work & build relationships with international colleagues? Because it’s entirely normal for me to book in a coffee & catch up with someone I work with, just like I would in the office. You have to if you’re going to build solid working relationships with colleagues overseas. I worked so closely with one colleague we joked how wild it was we’d never met. Wouldn’t think twice to working through a shared project on a teams call just like in the office. I think if you’re trying to work in isolation, then you’ll find it isolating. But if you actually partner with your peers & colleagues you’ll find none of this loneliness is really a thing.

Ah, another WFH-bashing thread.

I find it detrimental to my mental health dragging myself into an office 3 times a week where I barely see anyone I know. My team aren’t in my specific office so I rarely see anyone on my team anyway.
Plus I’ve been working hybrid for many years, not just since Covid where suddenly it’s become an issue and we’re all suddenly skivers.

I started a WFH job around 12 months ago following 20 years in a shift based role in a very large dept where i had lots of friends and spoke to people the full 12 hours i was there. I had no choice the move was for health reasons. It took a bit of effort, but i have some reallly, really good solid friendships now. Rather than reaching out for advice in the main group, id reach out to people individiually, folow it up with a thanks, hows your day going? see if the wanted the conversation. Some did, some didnt. The ones who did we will call and rant, call and laugh, just call for life up dates. The ones who didnt i will still randomly drop messages to them if it sounds like they are having a bad day, or they have shared something in the main group. Its definitely harder, but entirely possible to form friendships within work even if its 100% from home.

I was grumbling to my husband yesterday about finding myself in a situation that keeps happening to me at work.

Basically I go to a lot of effort to introduce myself to people around the organisation, create a lot of "ins" to support my work. Then some issue arises between two parties I have an "in" with, and I end up mediating.

That hasn't changed one bit in spite of it being a much larger organisation with me almost 100% remote. I am still the person being hauled into a private room to hear the other side of the story.

I have put some thought into making myself known and approachable, but the dynamics are just the same.

I’m the same OP, I’ve never liked working from home and remote working. It’s not healthy! I live on my own and have had a lot happen in my personal life in the last few years so it’s been even worse for me.

I try to go into the office regularly but nobody else is there so there’s no benefit. I’m still new in my job and it’s so impossible to learn just sat on your own at home.

If you don’t like wfh it’s not as simple as “find another job” - wfh is the norm now it seems. I’ve job hopped quite a few times in the last few years trying to find a job with people in the office / mandated office days but it doesn’t exist.

So ring someone. Often a quick call is easier than typing back and forth plus you get more human connection and build relationships.