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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD?

40 replies

Travelfairy · 12/02/2026 21:08

DH was in London last week on business. We dont live in UK. Went MIA for almost 24 hours. Turns out he was drinking til 3.30am, doesn't usually drink, doesn't remember getting home and arrived into wirk 2 hours late. Its a new job, new boss seems a very heavy drinker and apparently was cool with this.

This week he is in Abu Dhabi and despite promising not to drink has been drinking (albeit lightly) but also not answering phone for hours at a time. He has 2 phones. Didn't answer either.

He is on Mounjaro, not supposed to be drinking on it at all afaik. Sick of him.

YABU - he's out there working hard networking not stuck to his phone
YANBU- he broke one promise what else has he broken. LTB.

OP posts:
Original poster
Travelfairy · 12/02/2026 22:25

JoyOfSpecs · 12/02/2026 21:21

"drinking til 3.30am, doesn't usually drink, doesn't remember getting home and arrived into work 2 hours late" sounds more like being on a total bender and getting in a right state than networking and building a good reputation in a new job.

A bender is exactly the word!

OP posts:
ColdAsAWitches · 12/02/2026 22:25

Sick of him?

He's made one small mistake!, YABVU

ColdAsAWitches · 12/02/2026 22:25

Sick of him?

He's made one small mistake!, YABVU

Original poster
Travelfairy · 12/02/2026 22:24

Threeabreast · 12/02/2026 21:25

If DH were away I’d maybe expect him to check in once a day, no more than that. I wouldn’t be phoning regularly enough to know he didn’t answer the phone for a few hours. If he didn’t answer, I’d imagine he’s building relationships with colleagues. Why such a tight leash?

He wasn't active on either phone or any social media for 24 hours, I was worried sick and no other way to contact him. I dont have time to check in regularly but more frequent than 24 hours

OP posts:
DDivaStar · 12/02/2026 21:57

It sounds like the drinking is expected as part of the networking. It up to your H to judge what his limits are.

You sound very controlling. He is working and when networking its not 9-5.

If you cant cope with him not being constantly available maybe youre not so well suited.

Eenameenadeeka · 12/02/2026 21:46

Why did he need to promise not to drink? He's an adult, why does he need your permission?I would expect that socializing would be important in some jobs and it's not like you were waiting at home for him so not sure why you're upset with him for being out late?

Nickyknackered · 12/02/2026 21:40

You can drink on mounjaro. Might add to symptoms (nausea maybe) but it isnt against the law.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 12/02/2026 21:39

You can drink on mounjaro

Ilovelurchers · 12/02/2026 21:36

And if you are actually considering leaving your husband because he got drunk on one work trip, and on another he has drunk lightly and not answered his phone for a few hours.....

Then yes, you probably should leave him. For his sake.

Ilovelurchers · 12/02/2026 21:34

Sounds like you monitor him very closely. Do you have reasons for being like this - has he got form for infidelity, for example?

If not, he is an adult, leave him alone! Re the drinking, I agree drinking isn't great and don't do it myself BUT, if he does it away from you and his drinking doesn't impact on you in any way, his body, his choice.

How often do you expect him to call or text, out of interest?

Threeabreast · 12/02/2026 21:25

If DH were away I’d maybe expect him to check in once a day, no more than that. I wouldn’t be phoning regularly enough to know he didn’t answer the phone for a few hours. If he didn’t answer, I’d imagine he’s building relationships with colleagues. Why such a tight leash?

JoyOfSpecs · 12/02/2026 21:21

"drinking til 3.30am, doesn't usually drink, doesn't remember getting home and arrived into work 2 hours late" sounds more like being on a total bender and getting in a right state than networking and building a good reputation in a new job.

cestlavielife · 12/02/2026 21:11

He is a grown adult.
He makes his choices

Helplessandheartbroke · 12/02/2026 21:10

I mean, hes BU going awol for 24 hours but hes an adult and is allowed to drink. Think yous need to meet in the middle here

FuzzyWolf · 12/02/2026 21:10

Do you normally micromanage his every movement and amount of drink he has?