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Original poster

dd15 induction tomorrow & i have a bug

264 replies

lunarwhisper · 12/02/2026 19:57

Reposting in AIBU for traffic
Trying to keep this brief

My dd is 15 and she's 3 days overdue we went to the hospital yesterday for reduced movements all fine but she's been booked in for an induction tomorrow
We arent the closest and werent before the pregnancy either due to her behaviour at the time and she was living with her dad for a few months befoe she found out but i was meant to be her birthing partner .

Since shes been off school we have been closer and going out together when my younger dc are at school but we did have an argument as she wants to call the baby something ridiculous and she called me controlling

The dad isnt the nicest of boys and tbh neither is his dad ive only spoke to him once and that was when i told him dd was pregnant and he said how did his son know its his and called dd a slag

They eventually broke up and he was bullying her along with his friends in school which made her anxious about attending , she blocked him and they had no contact from december until recently , they aren't back together but apparently he does want to be involved

Anyway fast forward to the issue, she is due to be induced tomorrow and I've woken up today vomiting and I don't feel the greatest. The dc’s dad aren't really involved tbh but the plan was he come here and be with the dc (though they'll not be home during the day) and I go with dd. Im now unsure what to do as I wont be much help to dd and obviously with a bug on the labour ward wont be good anyway

The dad is under 16 so i doubt just then would be allowed and I dont think dd would want him there anyway , i don't know if shed want her dad there either(i wouldnt have wanted mine there at 15 and we were much closer than dd and her dad) and im unsure how much use he’d be

What the hell do we do??

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 13/02/2026 02:52

I think induction is a bit extreme for someone only three days over due date (unless there are other factors).

It wouldn't hurt to put it off and she may go into labour spontaneously.

Empress13 · 13/02/2026 02:09

Firstly OP I’m sorry you have this worry. Speak to the hospital and see what they say I’m sure they’ve encountered this before. As for people saying ask her friends she’s technically a child so are her friends! Hopefully the induction will take a little time in order for you to at least get past the vomiting stage (fingers crossed it’s just a 24 hour bug). Agree you should not be going in until you have stopped vomiting.

Clonakilla · 13/02/2026 01:51

summergin · 13/02/2026 01:21

Harsh as this sounds her age is almost irrelevant, she got pregnant and fell out with the dad (which in this day and age isn’t unusual). You’ve unfortunately fell ill so can’t be her birthing partner (regardless as to what your daughter says you going onto a maternity ward knowing you are ill would be wrong in every way/shape/form) though I would say what is unusual is that you and your daughter have no friends outside the circle of just the two of you, or your “friends” are working which makes me think there’s more to the story? I just struggle to comprehend someone who knows no one other than the person she got pregnant with and her mum…

She knows plenty of people but the majority will also be children.

I think it will have to be the baby’s dad OP. If that’s what your daughter wants. I’d check in with the midwifery service to see what they do in these situations - they will have suggestions.

Sellseashells · 13/02/2026 01:43

Yes, unless you can find a willing volunteer (get the word out in your community, you never know, there may be a good samaritan) then please try to find a doula. I know there will be a great expense involved, but your dd needs every bit of support. I'd beg, borrow or steal to get one tbh, so that dd is off to the best start she possibly can.

Speak to her health team ASAP and let them know the situation.

So sorry you're dealing with this, I can't imagine how stressful this must be.

Best of luck Flowers

99bottlesofkombucha · 13/02/2026 01:36

getting a doula in to help her is a great idea. Someone competent who can reassure her and tell her what’s going on. I’d find one and then talk to dd, and say I’ll be in as soon as it’s 24 hours from when I was sick.

99bottlesofkombucha · 13/02/2026 01:35

90sTrifle · 13/02/2026 00:52

Can you reschedule it by a couple of days?

If not, then I think her dad is the next best option.

Poor thing. She shouldn’t be going through this at 15.

Show quote history

I would not reschedule an induction for reduced movements when baby is overdue, so going forward would be a must. I’d talk to my dd and ask what she thought. You can be on the phone or video call to her for a chunk of the induction process I expect, it might take a while.

Laughanotherday · 13/02/2026 01:29

Get a doula, they will be able to support her through it with her Dad as her parent.
No 15 year old should have to go it alone - ask midwifes / PALS for advice too.
I also would not delay the induction, reduced movements and the baby getting bigger as already overdue will make it harder and more risky.
I'm sorry you're all facing this happening at a young age - I wish for the best.

summergin · 13/02/2026 01:21

Harsh as this sounds her age is almost irrelevant, she got pregnant and fell out with the dad (which in this day and age isn’t unusual). You’ve unfortunately fell ill so can’t be her birthing partner (regardless as to what your daughter says you going onto a maternity ward knowing you are ill would be wrong in every way/shape/form) though I would say what is unusual is that you and your daughter have no friends outside the circle of just the two of you, or your “friends” are working which makes me think there’s more to the story? I just struggle to comprehend someone who knows no one other than the person she got pregnant with and her mum…

Eenameenadeeka · 13/02/2026 01:00

lunarwhisper · 13/02/2026 00:41

the dad’s mum isn't in his life otherwise i wouldve asked her its just his dad and older brothers

most my friends will be at work and shes adamant she wants me there but if not then the babys dad but I'm unsure how itll go especially the 2 of them, im aware an induction likely wont be quick but i still don't know how much use hell be whereas i feel the same about her dad but also id rather him there than the ex as her dad is much more unlikely to start an argument with her

Are there any other women in her life she's close to at all? Auntie, Nan, friends Mum?

90sTrifle · 13/02/2026 00:52

lunarwhisper · 13/02/2026 00:41

the dad’s mum isn't in his life otherwise i wouldve asked her its just his dad and older brothers

most my friends will be at work and shes adamant she wants me there but if not then the babys dad but I'm unsure how itll go especially the 2 of them, im aware an induction likely wont be quick but i still don't know how much use hell be whereas i feel the same about her dad but also id rather him there than the ex as her dad is much more unlikely to start an argument with her

Can you reschedule it by a couple of days?

If not, then I think her dad is the next best option.

Poor thing. She shouldn’t be going through this at 15.

90sTrifle · 13/02/2026 00:49

onlyforyou · 12/02/2026 20:09

Ask dd what she wants. No other female relatives? Does she have a close friend?

I don’t think you can ask another 15 year old to be involved in this!

Original poster
lunarwhisper · 13/02/2026 00:41

the dad’s mum isn't in his life otherwise i wouldve asked her its just his dad and older brothers

most my friends will be at work and shes adamant she wants me there but if not then the babys dad but I'm unsure how itll go especially the 2 of them, im aware an induction likely wont be quick but i still don't know how much use hell be whereas i feel the same about her dad but also id rather him there than the ex as her dad is much more unlikely to start an argument with her

OP posts:
AmpleSwan · 13/02/2026 00:28

I would suggest googling local doulas and calling around explaining the situation. Most of the websites I have seen offer free support to women in challenging circumstances who would otherwise give birth alone.

hollyandribbon · 13/02/2026 00:27

Needspaceforlego · 13/02/2026 00:18

I don't really think its appropriate to ask one of her pals, whos probably also only 15 whos likely to treat it as a joke or a big game, and a day of school rather than supporting her.

Aunties? Friends of yours? One of her Grans?
Could the hospital give her extra support.

I would ring the hospital and see what they suggest. As others have said inductions especially for a first baby can take a while (they can also be super fast) could someone else be their for a bit until your clear of your bug.

When I was 15 I would have absolutely stepped up and taken extremely seriously being the role of my friend’s birthing partner, but my MUM would have, without question, stepped in if my friends mum was poorly and unable to be there. OP I hope you’re feeling better and can be there for your dd but has she got a friends mum that can step in?

Needspaceforlego · 13/02/2026 00:18

I don't really think its appropriate to ask one of her pals, whos probably also only 15 whos likely to treat it as a joke or a big game, and a day of school rather than supporting her.

Aunties? Friends of yours? One of her Grans?
Could the hospital give her extra support.

I would ring the hospital and see what they suggest. As others have said inductions especially for a first baby can take a while (they can also be super fast) could someone else be their for a bit until your clear of your bug.

SumUp · 13/02/2026 00:04

Kirbert2 · 12/02/2026 22:29

The only issue with that is timing. It says to allow a minimum of 6 weeks before they will respond to a referral.

Show quote history

It’s an unusual situation so still worth a try. Doulas are generally a lovely lot.

CinnamonBuns67 · 12/02/2026 23:12

You can't go when you have a sickness bug, not only does it put your DD and GC at risk but all the other mums and babies too.

What does your DD want to do? She is this baby's mum, this is her medical procedure. It is up to her and not anyone else. Does she want to delay until you are well? Would she prefer a friend of hers that is willing to support? Would she prefer her Dad? Would she prefer baby's dad? Would she prefer to have the support of just the midwives? Ask her what she wants to do and accept what she wants even if you don't like it.

Travelfairy · 12/02/2026 23:12

Those bugs usually last 48 hours. If you have no more vomiting could they postpone even by one day? This is really messy, I feel for you both. 15 is so young 😢 I'm sure she'll need someone with her. What about the dads mum? Better than nothing?

Quickchangenow · 12/02/2026 22:39

Doesn’t she have a best friend who would be able to miss school for this important event? __

Kirbert2 · 12/02/2026 22:29

SumUp · 12/02/2026 22:27

If your daughter will consider it, please explain the situation to the maternity team and mention about finding her a doula.

https://doula.org.uk/access-fund

There is an access fund so it could be free of charge if a health professional will refer her, which due to her age and the circumstances I would expect they might.

The only issue with that is timing. It says to allow a minimum of 6 weeks before they will respond to a referral.

SumUp · 12/02/2026 22:27

If your daughter will consider it, please explain the situation to the maternity team and mention about finding her a doula.

https://doula.org.uk/access-fund

There is an access fund so it could be free of charge if a health professional will refer her, which due to her age and the circumstances I would expect they might.

Doula UK

https://doula.org.uk/access-fund

Saz12 · 12/02/2026 22:24

First off, call the ward and find out what their policy is. You cant be the only birthing partner ever to have had badly timed norovirus.

If DD only wants you, she has to wait 48 hours, if that's medically safe.

If she decides she wants the father present, and he agrees, then that's what will happen - as young as they both are, they're about to be parents so they need to get on with it.

Otherwise she can (a) go alone, or (b) go with any sensible kind adult who is available and SHE trusts. I've no idea if there's anyone school can suggest? She must've had some education support?

Hankunamatata · 12/02/2026 22:21

Does dd have a specialised midwife as she is only 15?

Eenameenadeeka · 12/02/2026 22:15

Oh gosh what a tricky situation to be in.
First of all, I do think you need to stay away at the moment because it would be horrendous for her to catch your bug right now, or her baby or others at hospital.
My personal experience of induction, and a few others I've known, is that it can actually take quite a while, so she might be able to go in with the Dad, or her Dad, and by the time labour is really picking up, it could be a couple of days and you'll be feeling better?