dd15 induction tomorrow & i have a bug

Do not go to a maternity ward with a vomiting bug!!! Anything other than this.

She doesn't have to be induced, she is only 3 days overdue. She csn wait to go into labour naturally. Inductions often stress the baby out and lead to interventions

YoI’m obviously speak to the maternity ward. They will probably bring he in for monitoring and re-book her for induction Monday. But it might happen before then anyway.

Nightmare.

I suggest you ask the hospital for advice. About what alternative support they can offer and how soon after vomiting you can attend.

As others have said a doula would be a great idea in any case, even with you there. Even if you have to pay (by loan, instalments etc) would be well worth it to have a woman who knows how to help supporting your DD, even when you’re there too. In this circumstance, a doula may be willing to pull out all the stops to attend.

If your DD wants the baby’s dad there, it’s up to her. He may be useless but he may also gain a very deep respect for her if he witnesses her labour (and deeper connection with the baby if he’s there for the birth). But the hospital should be able to support on that too.

And you can be on the phone, hopefully. So, still with her in that sense.

Am I being naïve here in thinking that because she's so young she'll have specialist midwife support? I know that specialist young person's midwives exist, not sure how common they are. If there really are no women who are known to your daughter then perhaps putting the word out there is the best option you've got. There might be a retired nurse or midwife who would be happy to come and be a support to your daughter in these difficult circumstances.

48 hours. On a maternity ward anything less would be despicable

If your DD wants the babies father there, that’s her choice. Whether or not having a teenage boy is most suitable is not really relevant. Most suitable situation is far removed from DD current situation but there’s no going back now. Personally I’d stay away due to the bug. Induction can take ages so let DD & Baby dad do the early shift, and you can take over once recovered & 48hrs clear. As others have said it might not be fast anyway so there’s a good chance you’ll still be able to support her, and the baby dad will be long bored and go home. He sounds like he could benefit from a reality check though.

Could an option be the babys dad but "supervised" by her dad?

Her dad could go out of the room during any procedures that a 15 year old girl doesn't want her dad to see and she then gets the babys father but less likely he would say anything upsetting if her dad is also there?

I suppose it depends on how she is being induced. If it’s pessary she could be out of hospital and back at home waiting for pessary to work. Or they could break her waters then wait. As it’s her first child it may take days for everything to kick off.

I think a useless 15 year old boy would be the last thing that would be helpful during an induction. When I was on an induction ward with my first there seems to be a similar ish (but perhaps slightly older) situation going on. Young lad and girl were arguing a lot- young lad got chucked out and older woman turned up about half an hour later.

I would really be trying to see what additional support might be put in place. Like others my induction lasted 3 days and was not something I’d want any daughter of mine to go through alone or with a useless birthing partner. My induction was basically a ton of sweeps, mechanical breaking of left over waters and then 24 hours later the drip . They didn’t do the pessary for me as didn’t think it would do anything. Those procedures alone are quite intimate and not that nice. You can also be on an induction ward in early labour for a while which is also a bit weird. If she has to have a drip, they’d have her on 1:1 anyway but might have different procedures for the other induction processes compared to usual because of her age.

I had my second son relatively young and was alone during the labour (ending in c section).

Tbh the midwives made a fuss of me as I was alone and they were all lovely. Do you have a friend who will go on with her? Any female family member? What about the dad’s mother?

Poor little lass. Hope it all goes OK

This is the right answer.

what about her dad?
any of your relatives?

Doula!

You cannot rely on dad - what is he agrees and just doesn’t turn up. You cannot risk going either.

Hopefully you’ve contacted the hospital to inform them of the situation.

All the best.

She will be fine. If she’s mature enough to have this baby then she can get through this first bit without you - you said you aren’t that close anyway.
You absolutely can not take a bug into hospital, that’s the reason wards get shut down, not to mention the risk to vulnerable patients and babies.

Try and get a doula? Ultimately up to your daughter of course.
Really crap timing but best you stay away - there are many mothers and babies on the induction ward in addition to your DD.
Inductions can take days and involve so much waiting around you can still be in the phone lots potentially. And you will have many chances to be there for her over the coming years... I think it will be important to see how she experiences the birth and if she's traumatised seek support for her.
Best wishes to you all.

Can you be on Facetime/WhatsApp video call with her throughout it all? I know it's not completely the same but better than nothing. Anyone from her prenatal classes who she bonded with?!

It's not appropriate for one of her friends to be her birthing partner.

If this was the daughter of one of my friends I would absolutely take a couple of days off work to support her. I'd ask around OP, I'm sure one of your friends could step in.

Your daughter needs someone who can advocate for her during the process.

She said reduced movement.

I’d imagine that today they will just put in a pessary or something and little would happen. Can’t you just mask up and stay well away from DD & baby. I wouldn’t be asking them to delay induction when it’s for reduced movement. By the time baby is born, you’ll probably be better.

Ask dd what she wants. No other female relatives? Does she have a close friend?

Can’t believe people are asking about close friends, given that close friends would be her own age. It’s completely inappropriate for a 15yo child to be a birthing partner, there is no way that should be asked of them, and I’d go so far as to consider it a safeguarding issue.

The reality is she is either insistent on going ahead now and goes it alone with midwives, or delays and has you there. If there is a medical need, fair enough, but if it is just that she is over it at this point, that’s not a consideration really in these circumstances.

You said your friends are at work. If my friend had this problem, I would totally take the day off (and the next one) to be there for her daughter. You can but ask.

I was induced; it took 4 days from arriving at hospital to the (inevitable) emergency section, and I found it exhausting and distressing. We already had a doula planned, and she tag teamed with my DH. She was amazing at liaising and advocating for me with the midwives. If you can arrange one short notice, I really recommend.

Sending you love; quite the quandary. I think the recommendation to speak with the hospital is very good as they help birthing mothers every day. I would also mentally prepare DD in the event you are absent. For both of them, if she needs induced, I would recommend going ahead even if it’s a hard decision because you won’t be there. Healthy mum and baby. If she has been receiving other support such as a midwife or due to her younger age, contact them. More information and more ideas to weigh. Maybe run it by her first.

I hope she has an easy delivery and you recover quickly too.