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Original poster

dd15 induction tomorrow & i have a bug

264 replies

lunarwhisper · 12/02/2026 19:57

Reposting in AIBU for traffic
Trying to keep this brief

My dd is 15 and she's 3 days overdue we went to the hospital yesterday for reduced movements all fine but she's been booked in for an induction tomorrow
We arent the closest and werent before the pregnancy either due to her behaviour at the time and she was living with her dad for a few months befoe she found out but i was meant to be her birthing partner .

Since shes been off school we have been closer and going out together when my younger dc are at school but we did have an argument as she wants to call the baby something ridiculous and she called me controlling

The dad isnt the nicest of boys and tbh neither is his dad ive only spoke to him once and that was when i told him dd was pregnant and he said how did his son know its his and called dd a slag

They eventually broke up and he was bullying her along with his friends in school which made her anxious about attending , she blocked him and they had no contact from december until recently , they aren't back together but apparently he does want to be involved

Anyway fast forward to the issue, she is due to be induced tomorrow and I've woken up today vomiting and I don't feel the greatest. The dc’s dad aren't really involved tbh but the plan was he come here and be with the dc (though they'll not be home during the day) and I go with dd. Im now unsure what to do as I wont be much help to dd and obviously with a bug on the labour ward wont be good anyway

The dad is under 16 so i doubt just then would be allowed and I dont think dd would want him there anyway , i don't know if shed want her dad there either(i wouldnt have wanted mine there at 15 and we were much closer than dd and her dad) and im unsure how much use he’d be

What the hell do we do??

OP posts:
catera · 13/02/2026 11:25

summergin · 13/02/2026 01:21

Harsh as this sounds her age is almost irrelevant, she got pregnant and fell out with the dad (which in this day and age isn’t unusual). You’ve unfortunately fell ill so can’t be her birthing partner (regardless as to what your daughter says you going onto a maternity ward knowing you are ill would be wrong in every way/shape/form) though I would say what is unusual is that you and your daughter have no friends outside the circle of just the two of you, or your “friends” are working which makes me think there’s more to the story? I just struggle to comprehend someone who knows no one other than the person she got pregnant with and her mum…

It’s a Friday. Surely most friends would be working, mine all are Confused

deflatedbirthday · 13/02/2026 11:22

@Thewolvesarerunningagainalso West Yorkshire Smile maybe we could tag team if the stars align!

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 13/02/2026 11:21

FoxLoxInSox · 13/02/2026 11:07

Those saying that this child will “just have to learn how to get on with things on her own” are overlooking the fact she is a CHILD. She may have conceived another child but that doesn’t mean she’s not also a child. She needs a parent to sign off on major decisions around her health / finances / education because she is a child.

Being thrust into the position of being a mum doesn’t remove her own child status.

Absolutely this. Sweet lord, what are we come to. I have a 15 year old and if she was in this situation I hope no-one would be telling her to 'get on with it'. @lunarwhisper as @deflatedbirthday said, it's not likely we're in the same area (West yorkshire in my case) but I'd be more than happy to help if I could

Rora24 · 13/02/2026 11:21

I hope her dad and midwives are looking after her and her induction goes smoothly. I know you'll be worried but make sure you do your best to look after yourself today -lots of rest and liquids! - as even if you can't be by her side during the birth, you'll hopefully be fully recovered in time for your grandchild coming home. Got everything crossed this stressful situation is over quickly and you can fast forward to enjoying peaceful newborn snuggles. I'm sure motherhood will make your daughter's priorities shift quickly and she'll take the dad off the pedestal quickly!

TrickyD · 13/02/2026 11:19

Isn’t there a legal/criminal aspect to all this? Two under 16s?

deflatedbirthday · 13/02/2026 11:18

@lunarwhisperwhere abouts are you located? I know the chances are very slim but if you are in my area, I would happily go and support your DD if she would like some female company.

sashh · 13/02/2026 11:10

Can you contact her school? Is there a teacher she trusts? I know it is a lot to ask of a teacher or TA and obviously the head would need to allow it.

BeeHive909 · 13/02/2026 11:09

Can you ring the ward and ask them? Surely they have an isolated room and you could go and mask up etc.

FoxLoxInSox · 13/02/2026 11:07

Those saying that this child will “just have to learn how to get on with things on her own” are overlooking the fact she is a CHILD. She may have conceived another child but that doesn’t mean she’s not also a child. She needs a parent to sign off on major decisions around her health / finances / education because she is a child.

Being thrust into the position of being a mum doesn’t remove her own child status.

Stickytoffeetartt · 13/02/2026 11:04

Hope you feel better soon OP. And best of luck to your DD. It's s a worrying time but she will hopefully be home with baby before you know 🥰 (when I was induced with my first - dd came 3 hours after waters were broken/drip started)

Dapplesun · 13/02/2026 11:03

When I had my first induction from the time I went in to baby actually being born was around 72 hours, I can’t remember exactly but it was a long haul! So you could well be ok yet. Concentrate on getting yourself rested and well today and hopefully it all falls into place

Sortis · 13/02/2026 10:56

i do hope he doesnt let her down but also she doesnt think this means she has to get back with him but she does seem to have him on a pedestal a little (see my reply above where i said she seemed to praise him just for making her a sandwich)

She's a 15 year old child about to have a baby with hardly any support in the world. I'm not surprised that she's looking for a knight in shining armour and a happy ending.

usedtobeaylis · 13/02/2026 10:53

This is such a tough situation, it must be so hard to not be with her. It's nobody's fault but she's just going to have to get through it.

I can't believe anyone suggesting delaying induction, I'm glad that wasn't an option. That could potentially make a tough situation so much worse.

TheIceBear · 13/02/2026 10:50

Obeseandashamed · 13/02/2026 09:23

Unpopular but wards often have isolation rooms for cases like this. My friend’s partner had covid and he was allowed to remain her birthing partner as upon discharge baby would have been exposed anyway. What are your daughter’s plans post-discharge? It’s not ideal and wouldn’t be my choice but if your daughter has no other, they may wish to go ahead with you as the birthing partner and take precautions.

What about giving it to the postpartum mum and the baby ? It’s highly contagious. This is a terrible idea

District66 · 13/02/2026 10:47

onlyforyou · 12/02/2026 20:35

dd doesn’t have any friends? You don’t have any friends that she knows? I wouldn’t let her go alone (unless that’s definitely what she would prefer)

I accompanied a friends teenage dd to an intimate medical procedure because mum was ill and only other person available was her dad. I didn’t know her well at all but she just needed a woman to support her, I’m sure there is someone who would be willing to do the same.

Would you want your 15-year-old daughter to be a support person for a 15-year-old being induced really?
I’ve got no doubt mine would be over the moon to be involved but it’s not something I want her exposed to

Original poster
lunarwhisper · 13/02/2026 10:45

I haven't said im going to go i know i cant but the same people who are saying that are still asking about family etc so clearly not reading my replies

i don't argue with medical advice that she doesnt need to be induced. the reduced movements were clear on the machine when she was being monitored so they obviously think the induction is necessary presumably the baby measuring small is a factor too even though he seems to have caught up now bit she was being monitored often in the last few weeks

I do feel a bit better today but still not well her dad has taken her in and i think the ex is going to go aswell as she's asked him which I think a poster above suggested though i didnt read the response at the time

i do hope he doesnt let her down but also she doesnt think this means she has to get back with him but she does seem to have him on a pedestal a little (see my reply above where i said she seemed to praise him just for making her a sandwich)

im just at home now and worrying sickness bugs seem to come at the most awful times

OP posts:
Sporter · 13/02/2026 10:43

My husband got a sickness bug as I got induced... We couldn't wait and he wasn't allowed in. However, my labour lasted over 48hrs, so he made it thankfully.

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 13/02/2026 10:32

How about her friends' Mums? I have a DS but if my child's friend was in this situation I would 100% go to help her out. Xx

Queenoftartts · 13/02/2026 10:30

You need to stay away from the hospital for at least 48 hour's after last vomiting episode. Is there another family member who could support DD? A grandparent or an auntie?

Pipersgirl · 13/02/2026 10:03

I am so sorry you’re in such a tough situation- as a mum this must be terrifying for you wanting to protect YOUR baby at her vulnerable time.
I have no advice to add to the suggestions already made on this thread about possible people to accompany her. However I wanted to echo the person above regarding all the ridiculous Mumsnet advisors saying she doesn’t need to go in, doesn’t need induction, can’t have induction ‘forced’ on her etc. None of these people have medial oversight of your daughters case- if her medical team are advising induction due to faltering growth, reduced movements and past dates, PLEASE do not listen to internet randoms saying induction isn’t necessary. I can guarantee none of those saying to ignore medical advise and postpone the induction have ever attended a stillborn birth where these warning signs of poor placental function led to the worst outcome.
Wishing you and your daughter all the love and luck for the coming days.

isthesolution · 13/02/2026 09:58

Ring the labour ward and explain the situation - ask them what they propose.

EgregiouslyOverdressed · 13/02/2026 09:55

It's obviously a very tricky situation but suggesting that they delay induction due to reduced movements against medical advice might genuinely be the worst advice I have ever seen on MN.

Happytap · 13/02/2026 09:53

I'd postpone the induction and ask to go in for daily monitoring instead until you're better. If there was an emergency with baby they would do c section as induction for first time baby will likely take a few days. So might be better all round to have the daily monitoring and then induce if necessary when you're better or she might have gone into natural labour by then which would be much easier on her body anyway.

Good luck to you all and your DD, what a tough time she's had.

EdithBond · 13/02/2026 09:51

Adding the hospital should also (but don’t always) take into account when advising what to do, how the mother most feels safe.

If your DD will be scared without you there, it could delay labour. Like other mammals, humans need to feel safe when giving birth.

Obvs depends on medical/midwifery advice. But a potential compromise may be they admit and monitor your DD and baby, then (if they have to) induce once you’re able to be there with her.

TirednessOnToast · 13/02/2026 09:50

Call the hospital & ask for their advice.

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