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Original poster

dd15 induction tomorrow & i have a bug

264 replies

lunarwhisper · 12/02/2026 19:57

Reposting in AIBU for traffic
Trying to keep this brief

My dd is 15 and she's 3 days overdue we went to the hospital yesterday for reduced movements all fine but she's been booked in for an induction tomorrow
We arent the closest and werent before the pregnancy either due to her behaviour at the time and she was living with her dad for a few months befoe she found out but i was meant to be her birthing partner .

Since shes been off school we have been closer and going out together when my younger dc are at school but we did have an argument as she wants to call the baby something ridiculous and she called me controlling

The dad isnt the nicest of boys and tbh neither is his dad ive only spoke to him once and that was when i told him dd was pregnant and he said how did his son know its his and called dd a slag

They eventually broke up and he was bullying her along with his friends in school which made her anxious about attending , she blocked him and they had no contact from december until recently , they aren't back together but apparently he does want to be involved

Anyway fast forward to the issue, she is due to be induced tomorrow and I've woken up today vomiting and I don't feel the greatest. The dc’s dad aren't really involved tbh but the plan was he come here and be with the dc (though they'll not be home during the day) and I go with dd. Im now unsure what to do as I wont be much help to dd and obviously with a bug on the labour ward wont be good anyway

The dad is under 16 so i doubt just then would be allowed and I dont think dd would want him there anyway , i don't know if shed want her dad there either(i wouldnt have wanted mine there at 15 and we were much closer than dd and her dad) and im unsure how much use he’d be

What the hell do we do??

OP posts:
Tink3rbell30 · 13/02/2026 18:58

NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/02/2026 18:39

You'd rather she risked a stillbirth as punishment? Because when an induction is being carried out for reduced fetal movements, that's what they are trying to avoid.

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Just read that's the reason. Would have to be alone then if there's nobody else.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/02/2026 18:39

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You'd rather she risked a stillbirth as punishment? Because when an induction is being carried out for reduced fetal movements, that's what they are trying to avoid.

rainbowunicorn · 13/02/2026 18:26

Derbee · 13/02/2026 11:31

Then let her go on her own. Unacceptable to go a labour ward with a vomiting bug. As for being “fed up”, being a petulant child will need to change now that she’s gotten herself into this situation

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For goodness sake. Plenty of pregnant women of all ages get fed up in the later stages of pregnancy. There's no need to be so nasty about a vulnerable 15 year old.

Lifeomars · 13/02/2026 18:25

SeenYourArse · 13/02/2026 17:22

If she’s old enough to get pregnant and decide to have a baby she needs to be old enough to deal with it! Life isn’t easy anyway and she’s chosen to be a single parent at 15 so may as well get used to the harsh reality of what life will entail sooner rather than later.

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Hope your compassion bypass wasn't too painful.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 13/02/2026 18:17

Any news op, are you a nan yet? 🥰🥰

socks1107 · 13/02/2026 18:11

Induction can take a long time, hopefully not for her sake but for does you could go in the later stages if your free from sickness for so may hours as per the hospitals policy

x2boys · 13/02/2026 18:11

ABoldStatement · 13/02/2026 18:02

All the "old enough to get pregnant so she's old enough to deal with it" posts -

This is borderline misogynistic and shaming someone for having sex.

She didn't set out to 'get' pregnant. The girl had sex. As have probably all of us. She became pregnant - presumably that wasn't her intention. Maybe she didn't use protection, but maybe she did and it failed (I've been there, and I was a lot older).

Nor did the girl 'get' pregnant by herself. Funny that the posters who are saying this about the OP's daughter aren't mentioning that the father needs to grow up and deal with it Hmm]

@lunarwhisper - I really hope the birth has gone/is going will and that you get to see your grandchild soon.

Exactly its like some posters want to go backwards a few generations when young unmarried mothers were shamed and hidden away.

Strikeback · 13/02/2026 18:08

Good luck OP. Hope you end up with a healthy grandchild.

Terfarina · 13/02/2026 18:07

SeenYourArse · 13/02/2026 17:22

If she’s old enough to get pregnant and decide to have a baby she needs to be old enough to deal with it! Life isn’t easy anyway and she’s chosen to be a single parent at 15 so may as well get used to the harsh reality of what life will entail sooner rather than later.

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What an unkind judgemental post.

Where's your compassion for this child in a terribly tough situation labouring without her mum?

She wont be the only 15 yo having sex and not everyone thinks abortion is ok. I do, but not everyone does.

How would you like your grand/daughter treated if she was in this situation, would you want strangers on the internet bitching about her?

ABoldStatement · 13/02/2026 18:02

All the "old enough to get pregnant so she's old enough to deal with it" posts -

This is borderline misogynistic and shaming someone for having sex.

She didn't set out to 'get' pregnant. The girl had sex. As have probably all of us. She became pregnant - presumably that wasn't her intention. Maybe she didn't use protection, but maybe she did and it failed (I've been there, and I was a lot older).

Nor did the girl 'get' pregnant by herself. Funny that the posters who are saying this about the OP's daughter aren't mentioning that the father needs to grow up and deal with it Hmm]

@lunarwhisper - I really hope the birth has gone/is going will and that you get to see your grandchild soon.

humptydumptyfelloff · 13/02/2026 17:51

Ah sorry this happened at such an important time op.

glad she has her dad with her and hopefully it will be fairly quick for her as induction can take days.

ignore the posters commenting on her age etc etc they’ve clearly never been in such a situation

x2boys · 13/02/2026 17:45

SeenYourArse · 13/02/2026 17:22

If she’s old enough to get pregnant and decide to have a baby she needs to be old enough to deal with it! Life isn’t easy anyway and she’s chosen to be a single parent at 15 so may as well get used to the harsh reality of what life will entail sooner rather than later.

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She's 15 have a bit of compassion.

ABoldStatement · 13/02/2026 17:34

TrickyD · 13/02/2026 17:15

I certainly think Social Services should be involved. A poster upthread indicated that this was a statutory SS duty when a child of this age is pregnant. OP hasn’t mentioned any interaction with them.

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The police (to address your previous post) are highly unlikely to take action against two 15 year olds - or even two 14 year olds, as the DD may have been at the time she got pregnant. It is quite common for 15 year olds to engage in sexual activity together.

An under 16 year old being pregnant should and would trigger a referral to social care to see if a pre-birth assessment needs to be undertaken. That doesn't mean that an assessment will be undertaken, or that if it's taken, it will result in a social worker being assigned. A key element will be about ascertaining whether the sex that led to the pregnancy was consensual or whether the mother is particularly vulnerable.

Sortis · 13/02/2026 17:28

SeenYourArse · 13/02/2026 17:22

If she’s old enough to get pregnant and decide to have a baby she needs to be old enough to deal with it! Life isn’t easy anyway and she’s chosen to be a single parent at 15 so may as well get used to the harsh reality of what life will entail sooner rather than later.

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Thankfully, our society puts the wellbeing of baby over the need to punish the mother.

Quickchangenow · 13/02/2026 17:26

SeenYourArse · 13/02/2026 17:22

If she’s old enough to get pregnant and decide to have a baby she needs to be old enough to deal with it! Life isn’t easy anyway and she’s chosen to be a single parent at 15 so may as well get used to the harsh reality of what life will entail sooner rather than later.

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Blimey, very empathetic

SeenYourArse · 13/02/2026 17:22

sharkstale · 12/02/2026 20:52

I was induced twice, the first time it took 3 days before they broke my waters, the second I was in for 5 days first. I think that's quite normal, so there's a good chance you won't miss the birth if your bug passes soon. Good luck to you both x

Just to add: i was going out of my mind both times being stuck in there during the induction process. Anyone who's had an induction will tell you they are horrendous. All those saying she's going to be a single mum anyway so let her do it alone are cruel. She's 15 ffs

Edited

If she’s old enough to get pregnant and decide to have a baby she needs to be old enough to deal with it! Life isn’t easy anyway and she’s chosen to be a single parent at 15 so may as well get used to the harsh reality of what life will entail sooner rather than later.

TrickyD · 13/02/2026 17:15

x2boys · 13/02/2026 14:37

They are both underage so both have had sex with a minor unless there was any coercion
Do you really think it ,s in the public interest to involve the police?

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I certainly think Social Services should be involved. A poster upthread indicated that this was a statutory SS duty when a child of this age is pregnant. OP hasn’t mentioned any interaction with them.

x2boys · 13/02/2026 17:11

lunarwhisper · 13/02/2026 16:59

Could people please read my replies before commenting suggestions

To the poster saying it seems like immaturity rather than nastiness from the ex ive obviously not written everything down as wanted to keep my op etc brief but it is more than immaturity and he doesnt have the best role models with his dad calling dd a slag and i know one is his older brothers is in prison so im not surprised but at the same time he caused dd so much stress and upset during the pregnancy along with his friends and made her feel like she couldnt go to school as he was always waiting for her at the bus stop etc to shout things at her and regardless of being a teen or not thats no way to treat the mother of your child or anyone really and it lead to then girls in their year bullying her too who werent even friends of his the last few months of her being in school before she finished was really a nightmare . She hasn't fully decided when shes going back as she has said after easter seems too soon with it being just 2 months

anyway rant over
her dad messaged me just before lunchtime and said that she’d been having contractions this morning for a few hours and she was about 3 or 4 cm dilated (he couldnt remember) and they were talking about breaking her waters ive not heard anything since as he message me when he’d left them to get something to eat so presumably he has no single in the actual room

Good luck to your daughter
I hope the labour isn't too long and its straightforward.

EleanorReally · 13/02/2026 17:06

i am glad she took her dad

Original poster
lunarwhisper · 13/02/2026 16:59

Could people please read my replies before commenting suggestions

To the poster saying it seems like immaturity rather than nastiness from the ex ive obviously not written everything down as wanted to keep my op etc brief but it is more than immaturity and he doesnt have the best role models with his dad calling dd a slag and i know one is his older brothers is in prison so im not surprised but at the same time he caused dd so much stress and upset during the pregnancy along with his friends and made her feel like she couldnt go to school as he was always waiting for her at the bus stop etc to shout things at her and regardless of being a teen or not thats no way to treat the mother of your child or anyone really and it lead to then girls in their year bullying her too who werent even friends of his the last few months of her being in school before she finished was really a nightmare . She hasn't fully decided when shes going back as she has said after easter seems too soon with it being just 2 months

anyway rant over
her dad messaged me just before lunchtime and said that she’d been having contractions this morning for a few hours and she was about 3 or 4 cm dilated (he couldnt remember) and they were talking about breaking her waters ive not heard anything since as he message me when he’d left them to get something to eat so presumably he has no single in the actual room

OP posts:
x2boys · 13/02/2026 16:50

Grammarnut · 13/02/2026 15:47

My ex H wasn't there for my DD's birth. Actually, I was glad he wasn't (and we were still happily married at that point) since he hadn't been much support with DS. Being alone was ok, apart from stupid woman doctor who said I was using too much gas and air (idiot woman).

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You were not 15 though i assume ?

Tink3rbell30 · 13/02/2026 16:46

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Bumblingbee92 · 13/02/2026 16:04

MintDog · 13/02/2026 13:20

You can't leave it any longer. She'll have to go on her own. If she's mature enough to get pregnant, she's mature enough to handle the midwives. Could be 3 days before the baby arrives. You obviously cannot go. Poor kid.

I’m in my thirties, happy to backpack across the world but there’s no way I’d want to labour on my own. Especially with how overstretched the NHS is, you often need an advocate.

Bumblingbee92 · 13/02/2026 16:02

I had to go back to hospital a week after I had DD for some follow up treatment. Whilst I was on my drip there was a girl who looked around 15, with her friend (who was talking about going back to school) in the bay next to me. The midwife gave her a sweep (the poor mite had no idea what it was and the midwife didn’t make it seem optional) she cried and said ‘if I can’t handle this how can I handle labour’. I thought to myself if the midwife had explained to her first that it was going to hurt and what it was she could have prepped herself.

Are you sure there’s no woman you know of who could sit with her? I’m a guide leader and if a mum got in touch with me even years after the.girl had left I’d be there. Even a teacher/nice lady down the shop/a school mum from primary school who always seemed kind?

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/02/2026 15:53

I was on my own for most of my labour and the nurses were great. My Mum arrived towards the end.