If it's ok, we'll all come

Bloody hate this, my son had 2 friends who had little brothers who would tag onto everything, one of them was ok, one of them was a little shit who would normally end up being the centre of attention!

Why does bloody dad have to come as well.

I would respond, lovely, but the party room and bags are restricted to 15 so you'll have to pay on the door xx

So have you hired out the entire soft play for your 15 party guests?

Or have you paid for 15 party guests to attend a larger publically open soft play?

If it’s the second, it’s easy like everyone said, tell her it’s fine to bring her other one along, she can pay on the door.

If you’ve paid to hire the whole place for a party, and the cost is per head, and allowing another child in would mean the only way to pay is to increase the party booking, then it’s more awkward as she can’t pay on the door, she’d have to pay you for another place, or you’d have to just pay it.

However, it’s been my experience that people do this and then hang around the party area at the least, so that it feels mean not to include the other child with food and cake, but then it is really awkward at the end when there is no party bag for the unexpected child.

It's really normal for this to happen but I have had cheeky fuckers add it to my bill.
I'd reply with 'no problem, it's open to the public during the party'

You’ve had several good replies you can message back, stating that they’re welcome, but will have to pay for sibling themselves.

But why does it have to be a family outing? Why can’t the dh (or the dm) of the sibling stay at home and look after the three year old?

I assume this was the post that the other poster was causing ghastly not the OP.

Tbh I'd be relaxed about an extra one too and think it's true that there are often no shows but it's rude to assume this is no big deal. She should have offered to pay her way and then you could have, if you wanted, offered to extend the booking. I think I would say that you have booked for x children but extras are welcome to pay on the door. That way it sounds like it's a rule for everyone who might bring siblings.

I don’t see where autistic or ‘normal’ (sigh) comes into the equation; it’s a tricky situation for anyone.

You asked for advice, so if it were me, I’d reply ‘great! The fee would be £x for sibling, you can pay at the gate. Looking forward to seeing you all!’

If it were me op, just say yeah no problem the more the merrier, I think the rates for x's age are £x but maybe double check with the venue.

I wouldn't expect you to pay if it were me, but I'd also ask what she's asked incase there's a limit to how many can attend for venue restrictions etc and plus some people like a party to be invitees only.

No, it really doesn’t come across as “stingy and weird” it is completely normal for extra siblings to be paid for by their parents at a soft play.
Bit different if you’ve hired a village hall and numbers don’t matter so much, but that’s not the situation here.

If this is a local soft play / she has two kids she knows she’s paying for the other kid (coz she’s been to soft play before probably many times - if not this one then other ones). I’d just thumbs up or say - “great” and leave it. More parents there is helpful anyway - they are in charge of their kid. You don’t need to tell them how to get lunch or buy tickets. Yes do some extra party bags or just some wee stickers and a peice of cake for siblings if you can but don’t stress. Don’t need to have the same stuff.

@2026newread the room.

Is there a separate room for the food etc? Because if so, you can’t just assume that you can add to the numbers in there. They can all come to soft play, pay for the sibling snd their own drinks. But the actual party is for invited guests. You need to make that clear.

I think this is quite normal and I don't think she was asking for you to pay. I think its a little unusual both parents are going. In my experience this situation usually arises when a parent alone has to drop off one child and it's easier pay for the second and stay rather than drag away an upset younger sibling who can't understand why they aren't allowed in.

To be 100% clear you could say something like 'that's great! When you arrive just let them know Kate is with the party so you'll only pay for Emma, but she is welcome to play with the others once inside'

I would throw in an extra party bag as I think it's a small expense to make a child feel included.

And it's hard to say exactly but I wouldn't have thought she was expecting you to pay for the additional ticket as she wasn't the one invited.
I feel she is more giving you a heads up she will be there but goes without saying she will cover the cost of the rest of the family.

There's always one c**t 🤣🤣🤣 pay no notice OP! Some good suggestions, hope party goes well x

I would just say ‘ ok, see you there. Can’t add her to the party itself but will make sure there’s a spare party bag at the end.’

You don’t need to increase the numbers to 16. Before you say to the mum she can pay on the door, check you actually can as a soft play near me you have to book online. So check that and the message her back saying they’re welcome, just pay on the door or book tickets on line. You’re massively over thinking this.

No you do not need to extend the invite to all siblings. Don’t overthink it. This mum has thought they might as well make a day out and bring DH and little sis. Plenty of people do this, you don’t have to worry about other siblings.

I think this first post nails it. Bless you OP you sound lovely. I’ve hosted a lot of kids soft play parties and this is quite normal and I doubt anyone will expect you to pay for the other kids but do make it clear as the PP says.

I think anyone would find her message unclear so
I wouldn’t worry about that. Surely though the party kids names will be written on a clipboard at the front desk and she will just have to pay for any extra children she brings. Just make sure you’re already in the building before she arrives!

how old are kids and will you need any help at the party ? Have you asked parents to stay?

YANBU I do think she’s angling for you to provide for the sibling because why say ‘if it’s ok with you’ when it’s a soft play they can pay to enter regardless.

She should have said ‘X is so looking forward to coming, me, DP and little sister will pay to go in while she’s there, so shout if you need any help during the party’ if she wanted to be clear she’s not after a freebie.

I’d just reply - ‘great that X can come, all the party spots are taken but if you’re happy to pay for entry for the 3 of you while the party is on we’ll see you there, otherwise we will of course keep a close eye on X for you”

You know soft play parties are about £13 a head, right? It's not stingy to not pay for siblings when probably 50%+ of invitees have a sibling within a couple of years of them who may well tag along. An extra party bag would be generous enough if you're happy to provide one.

We said this to some of DS friends parents at his soft play birthday, but there were some no shows, so parents who brought siblings didn't end up having to pay in the end so just bare in mind this could happen too OP.

I think the reply I quoted is great, but add that if there id capacity due to absences then you're happy for the child to take a place you've already paid for.

we have all been here!! I have been that mum who’s paid for the siblings and it’s cost me £££ in the past. Now I turn a blind eye! Usually you party’s are already paid for in advance so just make sure the play centre knows if anyone addional comes they pay and it not to be added to your “bill”