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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

JHound · 13/02/2026 15:46

I think it’s simply more birth rate / fertility panic.
Because women are stupid and the only reason birth rates are falling is because women don’t realise their fertility has a time limit.

SerendipityJane · 13/02/2026 15:44

JoyOfSpecs · 13/02/2026 15:38

"many of us just don't want children" with any man, but especially with men like Goodwin and Farage.

The article seemed aimed at addressing women (and young girls) shortcomings.

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JoyOfSpecs · 13/02/2026 15:38

"many of us just don't want children" with any man, but especially with men like Goodwin and Farage.

hehehesorry · 13/02/2026 15:08

Hope they also include a handy informational about all of the changes from possible prolapse to teeth crumbling to not being able to stand your partner to rib widening to bladder weakness to psychosis etc etc... Women are aware of their clock, many of us just don't want children when there is so much more to enjoy that doesn't run the risk of crippling us

CurlewKate · 13/02/2026 15:02

SerendipityJane · 12/02/2026 17:22

Could just be me then ? Thread title is a question, not a directive.

No, me too, kind of. I’m not creeped out-I’m enraged.

SerendipityJane · 13/02/2026 15:00

If Matt Goodwin wants to know why women are not having chldren/having children later perhaps he should read what Farage has said about women and fertility.

There was no indication of any interest in the causes of the problem. Only advancing his (a pronoun I use very correctly) solution to it.

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MxCactus · 13/02/2026 14:56

I actually think most men don't realise how much their fertility declines in their 30s and 40s. Did you know if your DP (male) is 40 or older you are THREE TIMES MORE LIKELY TO MISCARRY a pregnancy.

Also sperm is entirely responsible for the health of the placenta - and there can be huge issues with this related to the man's age.

Every couple i know with fertility issues ATM it's related to the age of the man.

Most women I know KNOW their fertility gets worse with age, but most men I know genuinely think they can "have a baby whenever".

I really actually think we need to be educating men more on how male fertility changes with age, and they need to start younger if they want a family
Women already know their fertility does!

JoyOfSpecs · 13/02/2026 14:55

If Matt Goodwin wants to know why women are not having chldren/having children later perhaps he should read what Farage has said about women and fertility.

"I've noticed that the women that tend to get to the top and the women that tend to command the highest salaries tend to be women who haven't had families,"

"I think the reality for women in the City is that if they have children it has a very detrimental effect on their future pay prospects."

"I think young, able women that are prepared to sacrifice the family life and stick with their career will do as well if not better than men."

"If a woman has a client base and has a child and takes two or three years off work, she is worth far less to the employer when she comes back than when she goes away."

"there are other jobs in which if you take six months off and come back you find yourself behind the rest of the pack and earning less money. That is a fact of life. It’s difficult to change that,.”

The Reform message is - Women must have more babies and have them younger. Women must also expect to earn less. Don't expect Reform to do anything about the reduction in earnings because it's just fact of life.

Reform do not have women's best interests at heart.

SerendipityJane · 13/02/2026 14:30

Naunet · 13/02/2026 14:19

Why just women and girls then? Seems to me it's men and boys who are completely ignorant about their own fertility.

Would you tell your boss how to run the business ?

I think that is the same thought process here.

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Naunet · 13/02/2026 14:19

LightningMode · 12/02/2026 17:15

I'm not seeing the problem? There is no harm in ointing out to girls and young women that their fertility rates change with age. I was of a generation who were constantly told not to get pregnant, that it would ruin our lives, and then we did start trying, in our thirties, our fertility rates had lessened.

Why just women and girls then? Seems to me it's men and boys who are completely ignorant about their own fertility.

SerendipityJane · 13/02/2026 14:07

Quine0nline · 13/02/2026 12:59

Do Reform (or any of the other candidates) have any suggestions or plans to pursue non paying "baby daddies" for non payment?

All the Reform literature I have seen is very much centred on mens thoughts and needs.

s/men/people/ - (for nereds)

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Quine0nline · 13/02/2026 12:59

Do Reform (or any of the other candidates) have any suggestions or plans to pursue non paying "baby daddies" for non payment?

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 13/02/2026 12:54

I’ve had three kids before 30 and there’s definitely pros to it and cons to it and I do think we should make it easier for women who want to have children earlier. I don’t think this is the way to do it. We should make it easier for women with kids to continue education and improve childcare. The only reason I could afford to have kids young is because my parents, siblings and ILs live close and were keen/willing to help us.

BillieWiper · 13/02/2026 12:48

Another misogynistic educationally challenged walking testicle. Great.

DelphiniumBlue · 13/02/2026 12:44

" A female temperament" - wtaf? Need I point out that only females have female temperaments, so not quite sure what he is trying to say here.
The issue is also not that women are having children ' late in life' , it's that they are more likely not be able to have children if they leave it late.
I wonder how Reform will help all those women who would like to have children younger, but can't afford to do so. Do they have a plan for bringing down the cost of housing and fuel, or legislating for more flexible working hours for mothers? How is bringing down the COL dealt with in their manifesto? What about the improvement of public transport so that these poorer young women can more easily get to work/childcare? Are they bringing in steps to help chase the more feckless fathers to financially support and provide childcare for their own children?
As for "peer reviewed" studies, I'd be surprised, tbh.

Iamsotiredandfedup · 13/02/2026 12:26

Do they really think this is why women are childlessness by choice? Maybe have a look at

maternity “care”
maternity leave
childcare
CMS
incel culture

as a mum of 2 I salute any woman that is child free by choice, go forth and frolic my unburdened sisters!*

*my kids are not burdens but I am currently drowning in all the above

Furlane · 13/02/2026 12:20

I think you need to be living under a rock not to know fertility decreases with age for both men and women. It’s not the cliff edge at 35 that’s too commonly pedalled, but there is obviously a decline and people know this.

Reform don’t care about women. Women do need to about their reproductive health at school in terms of endometriosis, PCOS, etc. It’s all to focused on pregnancy at the moment, and it should be much more general.

The trouble is women are too educated now. In countries with good maternity leave, good healthcare, decent standards of living, women are having fewer babies. We have a choice now, it’s not seen as so much of a taboo not to want one. Perhaps Reform should look at banning women from higher education and decriminalising marital rape like some other developing countries with large birth rates?

Marieme · 13/02/2026 12:19

Not creepy but incredibly sexist, the quality of a man’s sperm decreases as he ages so why is he only talking about women!

UncannyFanny · 13/02/2026 12:15

ObsessiveGoogler · 12/02/2026 17:30

Well for a start it's assuming women make decisions about fertility in a vacuum. What about men? What about discussing how they can become supportive and respectful partners so women might want to have children with them earlier? And what about exploring why financially women find it difficult to have children younger due to the cost of housing and childcare and the hit to our careers. Nope - we just need to accept our primary purpose is to breed. And I think everyone knows now that fertility declines with age.

Well the way most people on here carry on yes women do make decisions in a vacuum. Every other post is about your body your choice and who cares what men think.

randomchap · 13/02/2026 12:12

cardibach · 13/02/2026 12:10

Sorry, that was a typo for grown men
Embarrassed.
Totally changed my meaning.

Though I think it’s fairly obvious as Goodman is, well, white…

Edited

Ah, that really does change the meaning.

A very unfortunate typo.

Thanks for clarifying

cardibach · 13/02/2026 12:10

randomchap · 13/02/2026 11:50

Quick, someone is critising Reform, must deflect with "brown men" comment.

Sorry, that was a typo for grown men
Embarrassed.
Totally changed my meaning.

Though I think it’s fairly obvious as Goodman is, well, white…

catipuss · 13/02/2026 12:02

If there are lots of childless women presumably there are lots of childless men too, it takes two to tango. Or are women meant to trap men into having children? If the birth rate is falling men are equally to blame, if there is blame for that when the world is over populated. When no one in the world is starving we can worry about increasing the population.

SerendipityJane · 13/02/2026 11:50

Ihatethistimeline · 13/02/2026 11:45

I also think it’s strange this thread is only 2 pages long. If it had a trans angle it would be 20 pages within hours. Is trans the only feminist issue currently?

Seems a fair conclusion that my concerns about middle aged men pontificating specifically about "young girls" and how they need to be taught to have children being creepy is out of touch with modern life.

It would have been equally as creepy to me had he also (or instead) suggested that "young boys" need to learn how to become fathers with all the responsibilities that entails. But as it happens his fertility concerns were restricted to women.

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randomchap · 13/02/2026 11:50

cardibach · 12/02/2026 17:59

I’m pretty creeped out by grown men being interested in ‘young girls’ and their sex lives…

  • [Post edited by MNHQ - the poster has explained later on the thread that this was an unfortunate typo]

Quick, someone is critising Reform, must deflect with "brown men" comment.

RosaMundi27 · 13/02/2026 11:50

I have several friends who bitterly regret not being informed of the actual facts of female fertility loss, rather than the glossy magazine hyping of a tiny number privileged women in their 40s having babies. I regret not being told about how PCOS massively decreases your chances of conceiving. And I wish, oh, how I wish that my signs of early menopause were not dismissed as "normal".
So yes, bring on the hard, cold, scientific facts about women's fertility to young women as soon as possible please.
I consider myself very very lucky to even have had one child.