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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS’s dad cut his hair without asking me

344 replies

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 12:58

me and DS’s dad are separated. Never married. He works full time and has his son on the weekends.
we agreed a hair cut when DS started school and he paid. I told him how I wanted it to be and it turned out ok although I do prefer longer hair on him.
the cut was a mid length shaggy cut. I now want DS to grow his hair long again so I told ex’s partner I want it to be left to grow (me and ex communicate by email or I pass messages to his partner).
she dropped DS back last week and he’s cut his hair into a crew cut without asking me.

Am I right to feel annoyed that he should have asked me? DS is in first year of school.

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 12/02/2026 13:18

YABU to think you get to control this.

poetryandwine · 12/02/2026 13:18

Why do you think your wishes for DS’ hair are more important than DS’ wishes for his own hair, OP?

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 12/02/2026 13:18

My boys (secondary aged) have longer hair- it has always been their choice although it was led my me when they were small (but I did occasionally ask if they wanted it cut).

If they wanted it cut, they would get it cut- it’s their hair.

You need to listen to your DS. He said he wanted it cut and gave a clear reason and you have completely dismissed his feelings.

Vaxtable · 12/02/2026 13:18

He’s 5 that’s old enough to decide how he wants his hair, it’s not up to you

he has already said he gets comments at school and doesn’t like it. You should be listening to him, his choice not yours

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 13:17

Its your sons hair and if he wants it short then that overrides your wanting it long.

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/02/2026 13:17

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

He’s not a possession or a pet to dress up as you please - it’s his hair, if he wants it short he gets to have it short.

GreenWheat · 12/02/2026 13:16

Your DS doesn't want hair that makes him look like a girl. Stop foisting your own wishes onto him.

BashfulClam · 12/02/2026 13:15

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

Nope, it’s up to your son and he already told you he didn’t like it but you didn’t listen to him about HIS hair.

Anywherebuthere · 12/02/2026 13:15

Yabu. Bullying isn't something to take lightly.

I'm surprised that you are more bothered that about the haircut being done without your permission than your child being bullied. And why do you think your choice of haircut is more important than the child's fathers.

pinkyredrose · 12/02/2026 13:15

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:06

He’s said he doesn’t like the long hair as people at school say he looks like a girl. But I thought he’s too young to be bullied in all honesty.

Oh come on Op. Let him have it short.

Manchestergal003 · 12/02/2026 13:14

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

He is 5? He doesn’t like long hair.

Mt563 · 12/02/2026 13:14

Your son is with his hair all the time, he gets the most say and he's said what he wants, short.

ValidPistachio · 12/02/2026 13:14

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

Well, you don’t. Don’t be so petty and immature.

itsthetea · 12/02/2026 13:14

You think he’s too young to be bullied? Ridiculous!

children start pointing of differences almost as soon as they are born - it’s part of learning

and toddlers can be bullies

and even if he isn’t bullied he might not like his differences being pointed out to him

Thundertoast · 12/02/2026 13:13

5 year olds can and will bully each other, just to clarify! Good thing to know for future. So, problem solved - it was just a misunderstanding on your part about what 5 year olds are capable of, DS is happy, all sorted.

Jellybunny56 · 12/02/2026 13:13

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

More of a say than your son, who has that hair on his head 24/7? What a strange concept.

mollypuss1 · 12/02/2026 13:13

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

More than your son himself?

Nannyfannybanny · 12/02/2026 13:13

There isn't a set age for being bullied. Children can start at playgroups, nurseries to bully or be bullied.

BoredWithLife · 12/02/2026 13:13

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

Or... your son, who has to live with it 24/7, has more of a say...

itsmeits · 12/02/2026 13:12

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:06

He’s said he doesn’t like the long hair as people at school say he looks like a girl. But I thought he’s too young to be bullied in all honesty.

Dont be naive kids are cruel

BashfulClam · 12/02/2026 13:12

Your sone told you he wanted shorter hair and you ignored him. He told his Dad who actually listened and took appropriate action. Why did you force your son to have a style he didn’t like just because of your preference? It’s up to him.

Original poster
Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

OP posts:
Madarch · 12/02/2026 13:12

YABVU

CombatBarbie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:06

He’s said he doesn’t like the long hair as people at school say he looks like a girl. But I thought he’s too young to be bullied in all honesty.

Your ex or your son? Either way I think you are very niave to think bullying cant be taking place.

SteelMaiden · 12/02/2026 13:11

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:06

He’s said he doesn’t like the long hair as people at school say he looks like a girl. But I thought he’s too young to be bullied in all honesty.

Hes told you he doesnt want long hair

So why is your opinion more important than the childs father and the child?