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Original poster

DS’s dad cut his hair without asking me

344 replies

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 12:58

me and DS’s dad are separated. Never married. He works full time and has his son on the weekends.
we agreed a hair cut when DS started school and he paid. I told him how I wanted it to be and it turned out ok although I do prefer longer hair on him.
the cut was a mid length shaggy cut. I now want DS to grow his hair long again so I told ex’s partner I want it to be left to grow (me and ex communicate by email or I pass messages to his partner).
she dropped DS back last week and he’s cut his hair into a crew cut without asking me.

Am I right to feel annoyed that he should have asked me? DS is in first year of school.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 12/02/2026 13:47

You’re both his parents. Your DS has told you he doesn’t like the long hair, surely his opinion counts more than yours on his own hair?

Beatriz85 · 12/02/2026 13:47

Oh stop it OP, this must be a rage bait

likelysuspect · 12/02/2026 13:47

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:06

He’s said he doesn’t like the long hair as people at school say he looks like a girl. But I thought he’s too young to be bullied in all honesty.

Thats not bullying, thats stupid things that kids say

But bottom line is he wanted it shorter, theres no reason to keep it longer other than your choice, so I suppose dad listened to that

When you and a co parent want different things, one of you isnt going to get their way, there isnt really a compromise possible when you both want different things.

He has the right to have his hair cut as do you.

ScarlettSunset · 12/02/2026 13:47

YABVU.

I wasn't allowed to have my hair how I wanted it when I was at school, and I got bullied about my hair from a very young age.
It may have been that the bullies would have found something else, but it's also possible I just wouldn't have stood out would have never been a target if I hadn't been forced to have it how it was.

Listen to your son - he's the only person who should get to choose his own hair length and style.

Elektra1 · 12/02/2026 13:47

Of all the ridiculous things to find fault with in a co-parent, getting your child’s hair cut HOW YOUR CHILD WANTS IT is one of the more ludicrous things I’ve read on here. He’s a little person with his own wishes, not a dolly for you to style how you like.

pinkstripeycat · 12/02/2026 13:46

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:06

He’s said he doesn’t like the long hair as people at school say he looks like a girl. But I thought he’s too young to be bullied in all honesty.

So you disbelieved what he was saying about being bullied and ignored his wishes. 🧐

crazeekat · 12/02/2026 13:46

Way to go dad!! He has listened to his son 👏 unlike mummy who appears to prefer her son being bullied than giving dad any credit.

MidWayThruJanuary · 12/02/2026 13:46

The little guy must be relieved to have one parent who listens to him about his hair.

Twasasurprise · 12/02/2026 13:45

YABU.

PrettyPickle · 12/02/2026 13:44

Does the Father have parental rights, if so he has just as much say as you and from the sounds of it, he was guided by your sons desire to have a short hairstyle so I think you are being unfair to your son and ex partner in this respect. It should have been your sons welfare first and not your fashion desires.

If the Father does not have parental rights i.e is not on the birth certificate) then he is on sticky ground but morally he acted in the best interests of your son.

beAsensible1 · 12/02/2026 13:43

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

no. your son said he didn't like it and you ignored. his dad did not. yabu

greencheetah · 12/02/2026 13:40

No. You are completely wrong on this. Your son wants shorter hair and is facing bullying. That’s all that matters here.

Isthateveryonethen · 12/02/2026 13:39

grumpygrape · 12/02/2026 13:34

Your son is already being bullied, by you.

You are trying to impose on him a hair style he doesn't want. That is bullying.

Show quote history

Exactly.

Lb603 · 12/02/2026 13:39

You are being massively unreasonable! Your childs told you he doesnt like it - why would you not listen to him? At least his dad is listening!

at 5 years old kids are absolutely savage

Isthateveryonethen · 12/02/2026 13:38

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

What nonsense! The one who should have the most say is your son. You do sound quite controlling here

grumpygrape · 12/02/2026 13:34

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

Your son is already being bullied, by you.

You are trying to impose on him a hair style he doesn't want. That is bullying.

BotterMon · 12/02/2026 13:32

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

Kindly; you are being ridiculous.

evtheria · 12/02/2026 13:32

It’s your child’s hair. If the style doesn’t break school rules he should be able to choose how he wants it.

Blushingm · 12/02/2026 13:32

Why does your view trump your ex’s?

At the end of the day if your DS wanted his hair cut, why can’t he?

Instructions · 12/02/2026 13:32

It's a good thing your son has his dad because if both his parents ignored his wishes and forced him to have long hair that he doesn't want it would be awful.

Your son isn't a possession.

InveterateWineDrinker · 12/02/2026 13:31

Minimelanie · 12/02/2026 13:12

Because I have my son most of the time I feel that I have more of a say in how he should have his hair

Besides haircuts, do you use him as a pawn for anything else in your dealings with exDP?

Queenoftartts · 12/02/2026 13:31

YABU your ds doesn’t want it long. His dad listened to him and got his hair cut.

Oreosareawful · 12/02/2026 13:31

Team dad. YABU!

ChequerToRed · 12/02/2026 13:31

To be quite blunt, this all sounds rather controlling. Not only towards your DS but also your Ex. You need to get to grips with this tendency now, because there’ll be bigger issues than hair in the long term if you don’t stop acting the dictator.

QuickPeachPoet · 12/02/2026 13:30

So his dad listened to him, took him for a smart haircut that the child actually likes, stops other kids teasing him, and HE is in the wrong 'cos you like boys with long hair?'
oh dear oh dear oh dear.