To ask friend how she will repay

I don't know how good a friend she is without the money part of it, but there is likely zero chance she is going to pay you back. Never lend money to anyone unless you don't care whether or not you'll get it back.

She is a CF by trying to make you out to be a bad person, having to go for a walk such was her shock, not wanting to ‘fall out’. She’s already painting a particularly gaslighting picture of her assuming that this was a gift.

You won’t get the money back and in my VAST experience, no good deed goes unpunished. You’ll most likely have to write off the debt and the friendship. Sorry OP.

I suppose I should have said. Without a written contract you would have an uphill battle . The onus of proof is on the lender. The' borrower' could say they thought it was a gift or indeed that they didnt get the money. Without a paper trail , it would be difficult to prove. The other thing is that even if the outcome was favourable. You cant get 'blood out of a stone' The borrower could say she hadnt got the money. Or they would pay £1 a week.

This is also incorrect. Nothing needs to be in writing although it would be helpful for evidence purposes.

Actually although a debt is not time limited as such the statute of limitations restricts taking legal action for the recovery of the debt to within six years of the last payment or if no repayment has commenced limited to six years since the loan was given. Twelve years if the debt was incurred through a mortgage deed.

Actually you now can.

This.

OP asked to talk about a plan, not demanding payment there and then!

I think it’s worth trying to pursue a repayment plan, and ideally some repayments too!

However, sadly, I would also suggest not necessarily expecting to get much, if any, of it actually back.

Unfortunately I've been done over when I've lent money to 'friends' and then requested repayment. You tend to lose the money and the 'friend'. Only lend what you can afford to lose and don't assume people have the same standards as yourself. After quite a few burnt fingers I only lend to my best friend (who has assets but poor liquidity) and one family member. Sad but true.

It shows to me when someone does something like this where their priorities lie. Obviously not in paying someone back. And with themselves for treats. Would they do this or be able to do this with a bank, no!

She doesn’t plan to repay it.

I’ve been on both sides of this. To all those people saying you should never lend money regardless of the circumstances, that is really cold! I fallen on hard times a couple of times. It’s not always down to being irresponsible.

If friends and family hadn’t helped me during those times I don’t know what I would have done and I’m incredibly grateful that they helped. I did pay it all back. Your friend should have never assumed it was a gift unless you stated it was. I mean, why would it be? I don’t blame her for treating herself if her financial situation has improved but she should have still come to you first and said she wanted to set up a payment arrangement. Times are so hard for everyone so I really don’t blame her as we all need to boost our mental health in some way or another. I’ve had friends take the piss when I’ve lent them money. When they’ve been struggling, I’ve let it go.

Now though I will only lend up to £300. They can’t borrow again unless they pay back that money.

I guess it depends on how much and what the discussions were at the time you gave it her. Did she think it was a gift or was she aware it was a loan? Anyone with any self respect would be offering to pay it back but some people are CFs.

Sounds like she was hoping you'd have forgotten or at least let it slide.

You’ll never get it back.

Just as the money has gone never to be seen again, so has the OP ?????!!!!!!

You have a problem with this one OP. You have no proof that you gave her the money,no point in a Claims court case. They wouldn’t entertain it unless you had a signed contract with your one time friend. It’s the quickest way to lose a friend is loaning money. I hope she does the right thing by you. If not write it off and her too. I’m afraid she’s a ‘leech’

‘Come out of the woodwork’ ? Like she’s an insect?
She tried to do something to help a friend. She has every right to ask for her money back. If the friend in need’ is on her feet. It should have been , her first priority to pay her dues. Not book a holiday!! Who cares if she needs something for herself. The original poster didn’t think that way when she loaned her the money. More’s the pity.

A terrible shock for you to reasonably ask for a plan for her to repay a loan whilst shes booking holidays. Shes mugging you off

But getting the money back wouldn't make it ok with me - I'd need to communicate that I was annoyed she made me chase her and then guilted me about that too

You’ve lent money to someone who has executive functioning problems. She likely had the opportunity to avoid this debt but didn’t know how. You fell for her rubbish about why she was in debt (you repeat it here). She realised it worked and kept up the pretence to justify getting into more debt and you lending again.

she has terrible impulsivity. No forward planning. Her brain ignores long term consequences.

shes now emotionally abusing you with the avoidance of responsibility.

i have been where you are and I learned the hard way.

the fact that she’s buying stuff for her house and booking a holiday says it all.

I am thinking the same, to not check in on response is odd

Omg

Really pisses me off when they make out you are the rude on for having the nerve to ask for the money back. It really does stink when people get all defensive on you. I would have been mortified and said "I will work out a payment plan" and...sorry for the delay in getting your money back to you.

Her reaction is outrageous!
She should never have put you in the position that you had to ask what the plan was to pay you back.
I am amazed she had the gaul to say she would have to go for a walk etc!
The amount isn’t really important, it’s your money, end of, if it’s a few hundred she should be able to pay it back quite quickly, if it’s in the thousands, did she really think you’d wrote it off??
Let the dust settle and give it a week or two to come up with a payment plan, otherwise bring it up again.
If your friendship ends cos of this, it ends, you’re more of a loss to her than she is to you.

Fake post ….