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AIBU?

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To think the most shocking thing about James VDB's death is...

257 replies

Hitthebestbooth · 12/02/2026 08:39

...that a famous actor, recognised worldwide for his role in Dawson's Creek (putting this in the first lines for the benefit of MNetters who love to comment 'who??' on these threads) struggled to pay for his cancer treatment? His death has left his family 'out of funds'.

Now, James Van der Beek had enough fame and affection from fans that a Go Fund Me has raised a lot to support his family already. But there must be countless families across America who are ruined by medical bills - if Dawson couldn't pay for his cancer treatment, how do non-famous people in ordinary jobs cope? What do their families do after they've been crippled by the costs and still lose their loved one along with their homes and security for their children?

As a millennial, I was so sad to read of James' death. I loved Dawson's Creek. But it makes me very afraid for a future where Farage gets his hands on the NHS and we find ourselves in this position too. I have plenty of bad experiences with our healthcare system and am not saying it's perfect. But if I or my husband are diagnosed with cancer tomorrow, we won't have to sell our possessions or ask friends and family for money or risk leaving our kids with no home after treatment costs. There are plenty of wealthy people out there eager to take the NHS apart and sell it off, and for all people say we'd get a European system and it would be improved, it seems far more likely that capitalist greed will win out and we'll actually get an American model.

James Van der Beek's death highlights just how ruinous that model is. He spent his illness selling off memorabilia and trying to raise money. He died knowing his family's finances were left decimated. And he was someone with more resources than most. It's a sobering indictment of how bad things can get, and I am truly afraid that a Reform government would put us all in that dystopian scenario.

There are all kinds of options I could put for a poll but I'm just trying to make it really simple.

YABU - US healthcare is fine
YANBU - US healthcare is a terrifying prospect

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
PropertyD · 12/02/2026 11:14

Anyone who is paying £80 per MONTH for prescriptions needs to look at a yearly pre payment prescription which is just over £100 per YEAR.

Comtesse · 12/02/2026 11:11

The US healthcare situation is inexplicable to me. How can such a rich country have such a crap system that leaves so many without cover? This is the real American exceptionalism if you ask me.

PropertyD · 12/02/2026 11:07

Scramado · 12/02/2026 09:08

That’s not luck, that’s basic life planning. It blows my mind the number of people that don’t have life assurance / critical illness / income protection then complain about benefits being too low to live on. Trying not getting your nails done and make proper provision instead.

Thr NHS funding model needs to be scrapped and started again by Keir Starmer. It’s just not working. We want a European funding model. What would be disastrous is if he didn’t have the balls to do it, it fell to Farage to fix and then we’d definitely get a US model and we’d be fucked.

Come on Keir, don’t be such an idiot!

100% agree. I wonder if the people claiming the NHS is great and cannot be reviewed EVER are actually the people who are paying little in.

Lets have a cross party review and not something that takes years to look at a co payment system. Someone was talking on another thread about what would happen if someone couldnt afford paracetamol (at 35p per box). Those people are very unusual. Not having 35p? Add to that people who cannot budget, never been taught to or have a massive entitlement to get whatever free stuff they can and that might be a better explanation. When I was working in retail during Covid people were stealing the bars of soat and liquid soap. One women came in and cleared the shelf of hand staniser. Dont get me started on the toilet rolls. people were literally pinching that too. I saw the very worst behaviour.

My late Father was always looking for anything that was free and that he was entitled to despite having enough to support himself. Same with a friend's Mum. She is constantly saying why cant she have what her other elderly friend gets. You dont get it just because you are 80 plus.

Apparently 25% of people go on holiday without travel insurance. Que the Crowd Funding and sad faces when something happens. There was a chap a few months ago who got a travel insurance quote with some existing illnesses.

Decided he would take the risk as he didnt want to pay the policy cost and ended up in a coma in Turkey where they refused to let him go until his bill was paid.

Some people constantly have their hands out for handouts whilst doing very little to sort out their own lives. And yes - its not luck that people get ill and no life insurance, income protection etc. Its basic life admin

Chenecinquantecinq · 12/02/2026 11:05

The average person in UK pays C£4,500pa towards NHS, now go look up how much a private policy would cost the average person! The NHS is not "free" amazing people think it is. It's actually not fit for pupose any longer.

Tadpolesinponds · 12/02/2026 11:05

Soonenough · 12/02/2026 09:06

I have a friend in US who husband died young with brain tumour . He was a firefighter with great insurance. But his uncovered medical expenses were over $1 million . His colleagues fundraised to cover as much as they could . She was still left with thousands in debt and 7 years later still paying .

I'm guessing that legalising euthanasia in the US would lead to a lot of people opting for that to avoid financial problems for their families. In the UK, certainly where I live, I think that people with cancer and other serious conditions, particularly painful ones, will be opting for euthanasia because it's impossible to get the treatment they need on the NHS, or to get it urgently enough.

Scramado · 12/02/2026 11:02

HappyFace2025 · 12/02/2026 10:58

You are very fortunate to have employer provided medical insurance. Is it a benefit in kind? I wonder what the cost would be if you had to pay for it yourself especially with all pre existing conditions being covered.

The pre existing conditions thing is a bit of a red herring. If you have a population of people you will have a range of pre existing conditions and the insurer will provide insurance at a cost which takes account of that.

I’m saying that all employers should provide medical insurance - such as they do in most of Europe - and this ensures the ‘pre existing conditions’ isn’t and issue because it’s averaged out. If insurance had to be bought for one person with pre existing conditions it would be v expensive. If insurance had to be provided for 100 people and some had pre existing conditions and some don’t, the per person insurance would be much cheaper.

KellsBells7 · 12/02/2026 11:00

JustAnotherWhinger · 12/02/2026 09:10

The changes to Widowed Parents Allowance, under the banner of Bereavement support payment being more inclusive as it includes younger widows and widowers without children is one of the biggest changes made by the Tories that people seem to have no clue about unless it impacts them.

How they got away with saying that switching from £114ish a week until your child was out of school age to £350 a month for 18 months with £3.5k one of payment was for the good of widows and children is staggering.

Their comment that the previous payment system put people off remarriage was scandalous.

There is currently a petition to try and get this debated in parliament. Any support would be appreciated.

Life insurance is unaffordable for many, especially when they have young children to support. Replacing a wage with £350 for just 18 months makes life so much more difficult for the bereaved.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/752501

Petition: Raise Bereavement Support Payment and extend beyond 18 months

Reform Bereavement Support Payment so families with and without dependent children receive help beyond 18 months, with annual uprating to reflect cost of living.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/752501

Katiesaidthat · 12/02/2026 11:00

Anactor · 12/02/2026 10:24

Why on Earth do you think any politician would ‘sell off the NHS’ and ‘hand it over to US health insurance companies’ when neither they nor their party, nor their party’s MPs would ever be voted in ever again? We have a parliamentary system where such a major change would have to go through parliament. You think the US insurance companies have enough money to pay off a majority of MPs? All of whom would know they’d need to find a new career afterwards?

This ‘X will sell off the NHS to US insurance companies’ has been a scare tactic ever since I can remember, starting with Mrs Thatcher, Tony Blair and successive
Tory leaders. Strangely enough, after nearly 50 years, no one has sold it off yet. Because whatever their political views, they recognise political suicide when they see it.

Farage wouldn´t need to be voted in again. He would have more money than God and done what he really wanted to do re various subjects. And it´s not "any politician", he isn´t a politician, he is a grifter. But some people like learning the hard way, so crack on.

x2boys · 12/02/2026 10:59

LesserSootyOwl · 12/02/2026 08:57

YANBU to be against the US system, but YABU to think that the NHS is the best alternative. I would support a European model which offers better outcomes than the NHS in its current state.

The NHS has many faults but compared to US system it is a better option.

HappyFace2025 · 12/02/2026 10:58

Scramado · 12/02/2026 10:54

All pre-existing conditions are covered under my employer provided medical insurance. That’s fairly standard.

You are very fortunate to have employer provided medical insurance. Is it a benefit in kind? I wonder what the cost would be if you had to pay for it yourself especially with all pre existing conditions being covered.

JHound · 12/02/2026 10:57

Nottodaty · 12/02/2026 10:38

I have a pre existing condition- how would these even begin to be covered under medical insurance.

Im someone who does think we need a rethink of NHS approach, European models seem to make sense.

The issue is with the NHS it is seen as free/entitled. So is open to abuse , sadly. Missed appointments, the access to it hindered by GP apt.

It’s just in fire fighting mode, impacted by wider needs elsewhere. As examples Social Care needs for the elderly - bed blockers. Or delays in accessing mental health, which often means people are at crisis point, rather that being supported properly before that point.

It needs figuring out, but politicians are nervous of even mentioning it as soon as it is it’s leveraged negatively by the other party.

My private healthcare (employed provided) covers all my preexisting conditions.

JHound · 12/02/2026 10:56

My mom’s sister had a $20k excess / copay on her cancer treatment (she is US based)….

HappyFace2025 · 12/02/2026 10:55

2dogsandabudgie · 12/02/2026 10:52

When we first took out a mortgage more than 30 years ago it was a condition that we both had to have life insurance cover. I don't know if that is still the case but I think it should be. The life cover lasted for the duration of the mortgage.

Yes same here. I'm not at all sure that it is a requirement now though.

Scramado · 12/02/2026 10:54

Nottodaty · 12/02/2026 10:38

I have a pre existing condition- how would these even begin to be covered under medical insurance.

Im someone who does think we need a rethink of NHS approach, European models seem to make sense.

The issue is with the NHS it is seen as free/entitled. So is open to abuse , sadly. Missed appointments, the access to it hindered by GP apt.

It’s just in fire fighting mode, impacted by wider needs elsewhere. As examples Social Care needs for the elderly - bed blockers. Or delays in accessing mental health, which often means people are at crisis point, rather that being supported properly before that point.

It needs figuring out, but politicians are nervous of even mentioning it as soon as it is it’s leveraged negatively by the other party.

All pre-existing conditions are covered under my employer provided medical insurance. That’s fairly standard.

Caniweartheseones · 12/02/2026 10:54

Absolutely the European model is much better than the US or U.K. model. My children and I have had so many bad experiences here over the past seven years that I am planing on returning before I get much older. Understand some systems aren’t what they were a few years ago but still not scraping the barrel like the U.K.

2dogsandabudgie · 12/02/2026 10:52

HappyFace2025 · 12/02/2026 10:43

I wonder how many young people (I include those in their 40s like my DDs and their families) can afford private insurance for health and critical illness on top of paying their mortgages or rent, tuition fee loans and basic cost of living. Neither DD ever has her nails done and only get their hair cut twice a year! Nothing to do with basic life planning if health insurance is unaffordable.

I agree that the NHS needs completely remodelling, ideally on one like the French have where they do pay into an insurance scheme. The system is also proactive e.g. women have an annual gynie checkup throughout their lives; a GP appt is same day or within 24 hours; blood test results are within 24 hours etc ...

As for Farage we can but hope voters are not so stupid as to vote Reform. But seeing how many voted for Brexit, I won't hold my breath.

When we first took out a mortgage more than 30 years ago it was a condition that we both had to have life insurance cover. I don't know if that is still the case but I think it should be. The life cover lasted for the duration of the mortgage.

HappyFace2025 · 12/02/2026 10:52

Scramado · 12/02/2026 10:45

It may be a lot to you, but it should be prioritised before takeaways, nails, hair, streaming services, pets etc etc. loads of people prioritise these things over proper financial protection, and they’re fools.

IME many people who order takeaways do so because they cannot afford to go out for an evening. Both my DDs have asked for vouchers at Xmas to spend on a takeaway meal which I was happy to give.

2dogsandabudgie · 12/02/2026 10:48

You are being unreasonable to use a celebrity's death in the USA and turn it into a political argument here.

A local hospital near me was declared in a critical state recently as it was overwhelmed with patients and were advising people to stay away from A and E as they couldn't cope.

It's all very well saying we need to protect the NHS at all costs but our population is too big for the NHS to cope with. Add to that an aging population and you have a ticking timebomb.

Bushmillsbabe · 12/02/2026 10:48

RabbitsEatPancakes · 12/02/2026 10:30

JVDB widow is hardly struggling- they've got their mansion rented out so that's easily a few hundred $K a year.
They bought a huge $4mil ranch. She's asking for donations to keep 6kids in private education the day he died as she knows when to cash in on fans grief. She's a grifter.
I suspect the majority of donations are coming from people in a much worse position.

A mum who wants to keep her children in the same school with their friends and support, after watching their father fight and lose a terrible battle with cancer is not a grifter. She is a mum doing the best she can to support her children to maintain some stability. Do you think the best thing for those children right now is having to change schools? To be the new kid whose famous Dad died and have to answer a whole loaf of questions from people who don't even know them.

People are under no obligation to donate, it's totally their choice. If they can't afford to donate then they shouldn't.

Kirbert2 · 12/02/2026 10:48

Frillybutsilly · 12/02/2026 10:31

Surely we have to be responsible for ourselves at times? This is literally what life insurance is for.

Not everyone can afford life insurance and sometimes not everything is covered, especially with cheaper policies which is going to be all some people can afford.

and then sometimes it is your child that gets cancer or another serious illness. I had savings which lasted about 0.5 seconds when my child had cancer and I was let go from my job.

Scramado · 12/02/2026 10:45

Livpool · 12/02/2026 09:58

That is easier said than done though - some people can’t afford it. Due to my severe asthma, mine and DH’s is £80 per month. That is a lot of money

It may be a lot to you, but it should be prioritised before takeaways, nails, hair, streaming services, pets etc etc. loads of people prioritise these things over proper financial protection, and they’re fools.

HappyFace2025 · 12/02/2026 10:43

Scramado · 12/02/2026 09:08

That’s not luck, that’s basic life planning. It blows my mind the number of people that don’t have life assurance / critical illness / income protection then complain about benefits being too low to live on. Trying not getting your nails done and make proper provision instead.

Thr NHS funding model needs to be scrapped and started again by Keir Starmer. It’s just not working. We want a European funding model. What would be disastrous is if he didn’t have the balls to do it, it fell to Farage to fix and then we’d definitely get a US model and we’d be fucked.

Come on Keir, don’t be such an idiot!

I wonder how many young people (I include those in their 40s like my DDs and their families) can afford private insurance for health and critical illness on top of paying their mortgages or rent, tuition fee loans and basic cost of living. Neither DD ever has her nails done and only get their hair cut twice a year! Nothing to do with basic life planning if health insurance is unaffordable.

I agree that the NHS needs completely remodelling, ideally on one like the French have where they do pay into an insurance scheme. The system is also proactive e.g. women have an annual gynie checkup throughout their lives; a GP appt is same day or within 24 hours; blood test results are within 24 hours etc ...

As for Farage we can but hope voters are not so stupid as to vote Reform. But seeing how many voted for Brexit, I won't hold my breath.

Daytimetellyqueen · 12/02/2026 10:42

LesserSootyOwl · 12/02/2026 08:57

YANBU to be against the US system, but YABU to think that the NHS is the best alternative. I would support a European model which offers better outcomes than the NHS in its current state.

This - The US model or NHS are not the only options.

Nottodaty · 12/02/2026 10:38

I have a pre existing condition- how would these even begin to be covered under medical insurance.

Im someone who does think we need a rethink of NHS approach, European models seem to make sense.

The issue is with the NHS it is seen as free/entitled. So is open to abuse , sadly. Missed appointments, the access to it hindered by GP apt.

It’s just in fire fighting mode, impacted by wider needs elsewhere. As examples Social Care needs for the elderly - bed blockers. Or delays in accessing mental health, which often means people are at crisis point, rather that being supported properly before that point.

It needs figuring out, but politicians are nervous of even mentioning it as soon as it is it’s leveraged negatively by the other party.

HelloPossible · 12/02/2026 10:37

All that would happen if we privatised our health system would mean the costs would go up and employers would have to pay for insurance for all their workers so costs/inflation would go up. One of the ways we are more competitive is that starting a business/ becoming freelance or moving a business here has low initial costs as you don’t have to pay health insurance for everyone.

Many Americans just go without health care and I believe if that were to happen here the chaos and costs would be greater than the cost of the NHS. No doubt the NHS is much better in some areas than others and increasing population by many millions and at the same time decreasing NHS bed capacity was a huge mistake. But I would put the work in to improve and invest rather than privatise.