Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For letting a 16 year old walk home?

106 replies

Floofatron · 12/02/2026 07:15

Difference of opinion with DH…
My 16 year old DS is going to a party tonight. It will finish at 11pm ish. He asked if he can walk home with his friends (three others, they are 15 and 16) rather than be picked up like we would usually do. They are all staying at ours. It’s about 45-60 min walk through a fairly peaceful town. He is sensible but I imagine there will be a bit of alcohol at this party. He has a tracker on his phone.
AIBU to let them?

YABU - you should pick them up
YANBU - it’s fine to let them walk

OP posts:
CinnamonBuns67 · 13/02/2026 10:19

No. If it was a shorter walk, then I'd be fine with it 45 mins-1 hour is too long at that time especially when they've been drinking. I would either pick them up or insist on them getting a taxi.

MostlyGhostly · 13/02/2026 09:59

DSS , 17 this year and in yr 11, walks home from parties with friends doing a route similar to the one you describe and he’s the last on the route so does the last 5 mins alone. But DH makes sure that he has money in his account for an uber if there is no one to walk with. We do live near an airport though so there’s always Uber availability in a reasonably short space of time

reluctantbrit · 13/02/2026 09:54

In a group yes. But - I would say that he can change his mind at any time and I would ensure he can order himself an Uber.

Ask him to send you a text when they are leaving.

AmusedShark · 13/02/2026 09:52

I think it's fine.

HopSpringsEternal · 13/02/2026 09:50

IstillloveKingThistle · 12/02/2026 21:21

Do me a favour .

😂😂😂😂😂

Show quote history

Its true. I think you need to look at where you are getting your news from and consider they might be telling you things that suit their narrative.
Yes, there is.There is still lots of horrific crime around. But there was more when I was growing up.

HopSpringsEternal · 13/02/2026 09:47

IstillloveKingThistle · 12/02/2026 08:12

Different times then wasn’t it.
A fight was with fists - not machetes and mobs.
Girls were still unsafe albeit no where near to the levels we have now .
I have two boys . I am more fearful for them in the big world than I ever envisaged .

Show quote history

Im pleased to say you are wrong. Despite what the right wing press wants to stir up, violent crime has dramatically decreased since the Eighties.
Not convinced crime against women can be accurately measured, though as this has always and still is massively underreported.

UniquePinkSwan · 13/02/2026 07:17

I was going to pubs at that age. It’s fine

Motheranddaughter · 13/02/2026 07:16

I can’t see any issue with this

IceIceSlippyIce · 13/02/2026 07:15

Hell no.
My (none white might be relevent) - teenager has been attacked in broad daylight walking back from school - twice - in a nice area.
No way will they be walking an hour, getting home at midnight.

user1497787065 · 13/02/2026 06:43

I think at 16 they are likely to be going off to Uni in two years so yes, they do need to be given increasing independence over this period. A group is unlikely to come to too
much harm in a peaceful town.

i am fearful there are children going off to Uni having never crossed the road alone.

Westfacing · 13/02/2026 06:37

I'm glad to hear that they're all back in one piece!

I never molly-coddled my sons who grew up in inner London but must say that I couldn't have gone to bed in your situation before four 15/16 year-olds were safely indoors.

Idropped · 13/02/2026 06:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Floofatron · 12/02/2026 23:35

Happy to report that all four are back safely! They have just come in and are currently ransacking my fridge (I’m in bed). Thanks for all your replies!

OP posts:
IstillloveKingThistle · 12/02/2026 21:21

anniegun · 12/02/2026 14:26

Most crime has fallen by 90% in 30 years – so why does the public think it’s increased? - Policing Insight

Show quote history

Do me a favour .

😂😂😂😂😂

Tohold · 12/02/2026 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tohold · 12/02/2026 15:18

Floofatron · 12/02/2026 15:15

You’re a cheerful person aren’t you? 🤣 I shall be sure to let you know.

Show quote history

Or realistic about a group of 15-16 year olds at a house party where you know they’ll be alcohol and they won’t be going back to their own mum and dad!

Original poster
Floofatron · 12/02/2026 15:15

Tohold · 12/02/2026 14:13

I reckon you’ll be called anyway to say that you need to come and pick up the group because one of them has passed out / can’t stop chucking up through drinking too much

Show quote history

You’re a cheerful person aren’t you? 🤣 I shall be sure to let you know.

OP posts:
TheBestThingthatAlmostHappened · 12/02/2026 14:47

Rainever · 12/02/2026 07:20

Wow as the mother of teenage girls the response would be different no way isn’t it sad we have to treat them differently.,

I'd let my 16 yo walk home alone regardless of gender. In fact, I'd be surprised if they even asked permission at that age.

ZippyPeer · 12/02/2026 14:45

Sounds like an excellent opportunity for them to improve their independence ahead of leaving home in a few years time

HelenaWilson · 12/02/2026 14:29

Plus it's February so likely to be cold and wet.

They're old enough to know that it's likely to be cold and wet and dress appropriately. If they don't, that's their lookout.

anniegun · 12/02/2026 14:26

IstillloveKingThistle · 12/02/2026 08:26

Do you not watch the real news ? Or read papers? Or gain an insight into what is happening in this country?

Show quote history

Most crime has fallen by 90% in 30 years – so why does the public think it’s increased? - Policing Insight

MojoMoon · 12/02/2026 14:16

Attacks on random people walking home are very very rare.

The party is actually much higher risk - most violence is between people who know each in some ways, like two young men both at the same party who have mutual friends and get into some argument.

(I'm not saying the party is dangerous! Just that walking home really isn't the high risk activity that some people seem to assume it to be)

Tohold · 12/02/2026 14:13

Floofatron · 12/02/2026 10:24

They don’t have school in the morning for those concerned about that. 😅

I trust my son and haven’t had reason not to yet… this will be a good test of that! I’m sure I won’t be able to sleep before they get in but that’s my problem not theirs.

I reckon you’ll be called anyway to say that you need to come and pick up the group because one of them has passed out / can’t stop chucking up through drinking too much

Thechaseison71 · 12/02/2026 13:02

99pwithaflake · 12/02/2026 07:21

Mine wouldn’t be. At 16-17 they are more than capable of walking home in a group.

Show quote history

Same here As a 17 year old I lived alone so obviously walked home alone in the dark

NameChange0101010101 · 12/02/2026 11:36

I really don't understand the weird approach to risk some people seem to have 'i will ferry my DC everywhere until they move out just in case something happens to them'

What about when they leave home?

Will you let them have driving lessons?

Much more likely to get injured in a car accident, especially with another teen at the wheel, than a random stabbing.

As pp have said, this is parenting based on own anxiety rather than reasonable risk.

If they know they can phone you if they have problems and you can trust them not to get into a car with someone whose been drinking, I don't see why not let them learn some freedom/ responsibility.