My 6 yr old has attacked another child

I would be very careful OP, she may take your messaging further as harrassment. And if she feels that the school aren't dealing with this seriously enough, she may be very very angry and on the war path tomorrow.

I think you need to ask for more support if their behaviour is getting more difficult to manage.

The “victim”?
We are talking about children here, this wasn’t a crime .

Also these threads always seem to give the impression that people believe you can just ‘opt’ for a special school like ticking a form, and all parents of autistic children have made the conscious choice for them to be in mainstream

Be mindful that the Government want more children with special needs to be in mainstream rather than special schools

What do you expect her to say? Reality is that whilst that parent will uncomfortably brush that comment off as that’s what you politely do in society, they’re feeling anything but those words.

I suggest you leave her alone. My child has been the victim in such a situation and I had to have the awkward conversation with the parent

Leave it. You've apologised, which was the right thing to do, and now you're looking for her to validate you, which is the wrong thing to do.

She doesn't owe you a response, let alone what you're hoping for. It would be aggressively unhelpful to harass her further.

This is a nasty thread. OP, I'm sorry. People can be horrible.

So is the victim. A child who we should assume enjoyed school and felt safe there.

A child who was attacked and left marks all over their face.

None of my children at six would have felt safe or happy going back in after that.

Correct. Reasons don't matter to the victim.

Well what’s the answer then?

A 1-to-1 TA… would require taxpayers money.

A placement in a special SEN school that costs way more £££ than mainstream, plus funded transport because the nearest suitable one is an hour plus away… would require taxpayers money.

Refusing the child a TA or special school place and requiring his mother to not work and home educate instead thus relying on benefits… would require taxpayers money.

“School has failed both children.“

This seems unfair. This is the first time it’s happened - how could school have preempted it with a child who doesn’t have a 1-1 provision?
Perhaps it’s not the right setting for your son OP. But there are no special school places and not enough budget for 1-1 supervision.. Expect more of this as budgets get smaller and the inclusion gets broader.

Absolutely agree.
What the bloody hell is wrong with some people?
The child in question is SIX years old!

I agree… if you’re not sorry enough to remove him from the school then just leave the victims mother alone.

What?
You seem to be laying the blame with OP who has done everything within her remit to acknowledge and apologise for her autistic son's actions.
Take care OP, I am amazed at some of the comments on here that appear to imply criticism of you, totally unfair

Leave it. I would be absolutely devastated if my child was attacked at school and came home marked and the last thing I would be wanting is pressure to make it all about you and your child. I don't doubt that you are also quite devastated but leave it.

I think you did the right thing apologising but please do not approach this woman in person to follow up. Especially the day after. DD got scratched up by a girl who was SEN and obviously it’s no the girls fault or her mum’s but when you have to look at your poor baby all scuffed up and scratched you don’t really see it that way.

If you read my comments, I advised OP not to message the other parent again.
I fail to see why a personal attack on the OP would achieve anything, other than making them feel worse than they already do.

Sorry op but I’m reporting this thread due to some of the disgusting comments on it. Please find the area of mn for additional needs. There’s empathy and help there.

I agree. My child’s was strangled by an autistic child in her class. She had to go to school with him the next day. He is regularly violent and escapes. He shouldn’t be in that school.

You've apologised to the Mum, and that's all you can do. She will be angry and upset, which is completely understandable.

The school have told you that the incident has met the temporary suspension threshold but as it's the first time, they aren't going to impose it due to his SEN. If the parents of the other child discover that no action is being taken against your son, be very prepared for them to be furious.

You need a meeting with the SENCO at school to discuss how your son's emotions can be handled. What triggered this particular meltdown? Could have the meltdown been foreseen? There needs to be a plan in place, that helps your son, but equally the school has a responsibility to safeguard the rest of the children too.

A child’s right to education shouldn’t trump other children’s safety and I’m not at all sorry for saying that.

Safety should always come first.

I have some sympathy when my DD is hurt by the child in her nursery class with additional needs compared with when she is hurt by the child without, but I would be furious at this. If the school cannot keep all the children safe, it is not the place for your son, unfortunately. I'm sorry OP, this must be really hard for you but it will also be really hard for the parent of the injured child and she isn't going to feel like talking to you.

I feel for you OP. You’ve done all you can to try to make amends. Your child won’t be the first nor last to go for another child. Much older children with better impulse control and without additional needs do it too! Keep giving love, keep up the boundaries, keep speaking with the school about what they’re putting in place to support, keep doing everything you’re already doing.

In an ideal world all children would have the right placement. Sadly they’re just not available.