My 6 yr old has attacked another child

Yes is does. If they can go a year or so without acting violently in a special school maybe then they’re able to be reintegrated into mainstream but the other classmates aren’t guinea pigs. If your child hasn’t been repeatedly beaten up from a young age by a classmate having a meltdown you probably have no idea of the lasting damage it can do to the attacked child. None whatsoever.

I have been both the mother of the child who has hurt another AND the mother of the child who has been hurt by another (eldest DC has autism, younger two have both been on the receiving end of attacks by other DC with SEN during primary school years) and FWIW I think you did the right thing in messaging to apologise.

I have done the same when DS1 was the perpetrator, and other parents have, similarly, messaged me following the situations where their DC had hurt mine. Tbh I did reply to the messages about DC2 and 3's situations, to reassure the parents concerned, but that's because I'm also a parent of a child with SEN - I got it. This parent may well not get it. So whilst an apology makes sense, don't follow up with any further contact for now.

The important thing going forward is that you work with school to enable as much support for your DS as possible. It's likely to be a long road unfortunately to accessing any kind of specialist provision but it is worth starting the ball rolling now.

@FeelShame primary school pupils can be suspended and permanently excluded. If SEN is involved then school need to show that they considered SEN

The child that was attacked was probably six. Should they expect this to be a daily occurence at school

If he wasn’t autistic then he would have been suspended, even at this age. As confirmed by the school. His victim wouldn’t have to sit in class with him tomorrow, or be around him in the playground. And when he returned from suspension, they would likely have him doing his work at the office and managing a move back to the class.

But he’s autistic.. so nothing will happen. And the kid he attacked just has to put up and shut up. That’s the issue.

Yes, people would be saying the same things if the child was not autistic. The child should be suspended at the very least and not return until the classroom is made safe for all.

My Ds1 has been attacked and picked on by an autistic child more than once. They used to be very good friends but, I think have drifted apart as my ds1 finds him too intense and the other child has reacted like this as a result. The other parents have apologised to me more than once. I have simply told my ds1 to find new friends because he doesn’t deserve to be attacked. However I feel for the other child and his parents too because it seems he finds it hard to keep friends, understandably. Ideally he would have a 1:1 and this kind of thing wouldn’t happen, but it’s no one’s fault that he doesn’t have that. You are getting a rough time on here op.

It jolly well should do if they cant keep their hands to themselves.

I have a child who was regularly attacked by a SEN child. Do our views not matter to you? Is the fact the local authority’s love of mainstream means many many kids are used simply as punchbags not an issue?

OPs life sounds very hard. She sounds like a good mother. I bet her son is an utter joy to be with 99% of the time, but none of that means that it’s ok to expose others to violence.

Exactly 👏

To the child it doesn’t matter who or why. All that matters is the person who hurt them is still there and could get them again.

Living on edge of further violence.

The child is 6. They are still learning emotional regulation. Would there be the same amount of venom being spouted if the child wasn't autistic and it was the first time an incident like this had happened.
Yes - his behavior needs to be addressed - but that doesn't mean locking all ND children away out of sight of everyone else.

So its okay for the child that was attacked to either be kept out if school because they are afraid or to be forced to go in to school knowing that they may have to face their attacker!

If I was attacked at work by another staff member I would not expect to have to come into contact with them the following day!

The child that is unable to regulate should be dealt with one to one of if it is not working then excluded. The child that was attacked should not be expected to compromise

Yep. Again, reasons don't matter to the victims of abuse.

Those people here pretending a child should have to sit in a classroom with someone who viciously attacked them have never had to sit beside a person who physically assaulted them - and need to learn some compassion and kindness.

Obviously something must be done, some sort of school consequences and procedures must be followed before returning the attacker to the immediate vicinity of his victim.

This is not, in the tiniest way, unkind, unfair or unreasonable. It doesn't matter whether it's the attacker's fault or not - the physical assault is real, dangerous, terrifying for the victim and cannot be brushed off.

So everyone must feel sorry for the op.

Not the other child and their parents. Righty.

Why? Because hearing from the parents of kids who spent years being attacked is too difficult?

Everyone cares about the kid with autism. No one cares about the kids being attacked, and anyone who sits on their side is called names by all the SEN parents because we’re just so cruel.

I’ve reported this thread too.
I never cease to be amazed at how absolutely dreadful people can be, and to a mum that must be absolutely distraught tonight.
Shame on you all.

100% agree. I speak sadly with a lot of experience in this areas. I think it’s so stupid that we tell parents their kids can’t watch violent films etc and then think they have to just suck up violence in school, where they ought to feel safe. There’s a reason why anxiety is rising in kids and having to deal with the fall out of inclusion is a big part of it.

OP your child needs to find a school setting where he cannot harm other children. The local authority needs to help you with this. Having him in mainstream is not at all fair on him or his classmates.

Mainstream schooling should be reserved for kids who can sit quietly and learn. They deserve a safe, calm education free from disruption.

honestly its awful. As a parent been on the attacked childs side - leave her alone she will be furious/upset and devastated.

Your child needs to be in a more appropriate setting, it is unfair on both children and I would not be able to be ok about sending my (attacked) child back into that class

It's quite obvious judging by the comments who have SEN experience and who hasn't.. I agree that OP should move this thread to SEN board where people have experience and empathy.

Exactly. Where are all these elusive ‘special schools??’

The child was harmed, of course they're a victim.

The child was assaulted and injured. They are clearly a victim.

What else would you call someone who is attacked and hurt for no reason?

So was the one that got physically attacked. Your point is?