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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why can't women be charged with rape?

382 replies

Ourlovelyson · 11/02/2026 20:13

My son attempted to take his life last year. Turns out his partner has been abusive and she was drugging him with Viagra being him aroused and sitting on top of him he kept telling her no but she did what she wanted to do. But rape is defined by the penetrating male, my son is not the person he once was.
I have been on Google for weeks and I can't find anything to help him. He obviously isn't the only one.
Why is this?

OP posts:
comeandhaveteawithme · 11/02/2026 20:22

I am so very sorry your son was abused and assaulted. This must be awful for you both.

You are, however, focusing on the wrong thing. The words used don't really mater too much. The GF still committed serious sexual assault which can carry the same sentence as rape.

Please encourage and support your son to go to the police and report this serious crime.

Ourlovelyson · 11/02/2026 20:22

He has finally gone to the police, it's taken a serious suicide attempt and lots of psychiatric help, he is now in the right head space, he has gone through so much in the last 6 years, he did his first police interview today and on Friday they are collecting the evidence as she has admitted to drugging him over text message, he also has a witness to the physical assaults.
I'm just so angry as he needs justice but the law does not see this as rape.

OP posts:
PatheticDistraction · 11/02/2026 20:17

I believe rape is defined as penetration with a penis.

A woman can be charged with other serious sexual offences.

myrtleWilson · 11/02/2026 20:16

Am sorry that happened to your son. She can be charged with a sexual assualt crime which carries the same sentence. Has he been able to report to the police?

SkyWalrus · 11/02/2026 20:16

It is covered by sexual assault laws. I’m so sorry that this happened to your son.

Kalimeras · 11/02/2026 20:16

Because rape is defined as penetration with a penis. Sexual assault charges carry the same sentences