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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the only way to give up my sitting room?

211 replies

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 16:30

Sister is abroad and has long covid. Moved over to an EU country for work 4 years ago and has been ill for nearly 2 years. Unable to work and ineligible for benefits in that country. Lost job and decided she has to come home for support.

Unfortunately there isn't a place for her to stay long term aside from my open plan sitting room diner on the sofa.

She will probably need to go on benefits for a while and will need to pass habitual residence etc. The problem is it looks like she will either need to be "street homeless" and be put up in a hostel or sleep on my sofa and basically take over my small home which is already crowded. We were hoping that my mum (who's in supported living) acting as a solid guarantor would help her get a private rental but I'm reading that won't be enough. I've even been told she won't be able to get a room in a house share.

AIBU to feel like this is horrendous? We've all always worked until my sister got unwell.

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:02

Eyesopenwideawake · 11/02/2026 16:34

If there isn't room for her at your house then yes, she will have to seek emergency accommodation from the local authority. How has she supported herself for the last two years?

Savings from work, which are almost gone now

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 11/02/2026 16:56

Why do you think she won’t be able to rent a room somewhere? If your mother can guarantee it, I won’t imagine there will be a problem.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 11/02/2026 16:52

What kind of support is she wanting by coming home?

Horrible situation but if it’s an open plan living and you have a family I think you have to say no, no room.
what happens if she has a bad day and feels unwell no one is allowed in the sitting room and has to tiptoe around her

Thistooshallpsss · 11/02/2026 16:46

I think it’s unlikely that she would be regarded as in priority need so even when she passes HRT I think it’s unlikely although not impossible that the council would have any duty to house her. I would be looking for a room in a shared house and claiming rent bias UC once she has passed HRT

greencheetah · 11/02/2026 16:40

No. If you put her up how will she claim homelessness?

Carrotpies · 11/02/2026 16:39

Is she actually a uk citizen and was abroad temporarily ? I’m just wondering can you access emergency accommodation if she’s not ? It may be that she has to stay temporarily with you till she has the correct status to apply ?

Burningbud1981 · 11/02/2026 16:39

Just to point out she won’t be entitled to any assistance from the council until shes passed the HRT ( which she probably won’t pass unless she can work ) and she has priority need

FoamShrimps · 11/02/2026 16:38

This will be a nightmare, if you put her up she won’t be declared homeless and she will be stuck

forcedtonamechange · 11/02/2026 16:37

I’m sure your mum could be a guarantor, she doesn’t have to declare her health, just sign something

sorry, what a shite situation x

YeBroshae · 11/02/2026 16:35

Contact citizens advice and find out the most supported route for her to be declared homeless and requiring accommodation. Make it clear that family cannot accommodate her. The professionals will be able to advise the best way to do this without inadvertently making her ineligible by offering your living room as an option

Eyesopenwideawake · 11/02/2026 16:34

If there isn't room for her at your house then yes, she will have to seek emergency accommodation from the local authority. How has she supported herself for the last two years?

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