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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the only way to give up my sitting room?

211 replies

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 16:30

Sister is abroad and has long covid. Moved over to an EU country for work 4 years ago and has been ill for nearly 2 years. Unable to work and ineligible for benefits in that country. Lost job and decided she has to come home for support.

Unfortunately there isn't a place for her to stay long term aside from my open plan sitting room diner on the sofa.

She will probably need to go on benefits for a while and will need to pass habitual residence etc. The problem is it looks like she will either need to be "street homeless" and be put up in a hostel or sleep on my sofa and basically take over my small home which is already crowded. We were hoping that my mum (who's in supported living) acting as a solid guarantor would help her get a private rental but I'm reading that won't be enough. I've even been told she won't be able to get a room in a house share.

AIBU to feel like this is horrendous? We've all always worked until my sister got unwell.

OP posts:
MouldyCandy · 11/02/2026 22:33

She sometimes sleeps for 20 hours a day and you are considered hosting her on the sofa in your open plan living-dining room???

I think you need to take some of the advice on this thread and have a look at SpareRoom, Gumtree type "room to rent" places.

7238SM · 11/02/2026 22:29

I already posted up thread with links to shelter etc, but what is your sister planning to do? I appreciate she hasn't been well, but she also hasn't worked for 2yrs- what solutions/googling/info has SHE found to support herself? Only going by your posts OP, it feels there is alot of pressure on you. ❤

Anyahyacinth · 11/02/2026 22:01

Crisis have pages on their website dedicated to No Resource to Public Funds help...there is also a NRPF Network for advice
Organisations like St Vincent De Paul have housing and support for companions...who are people experiencing homelessness. I hope somebody here might have helpful connections

Anyahyacinth · 11/02/2026 21:54

Did / does your sister do a job that there would be / might be a grant making trust connected too? That might be another route to explore for funds.
Hard when she is ill because there are empty property custodian roles for accommodation too..but being sick might make this impractical to apply for.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/02/2026 21:45

ToeSucker · 11/02/2026 21:38

yes you have to be habitually resident. in some situations you are habitually resident straight away e.g. if you are deported from the US or something. however if you are living in an EU country as a UK citizen you have to convincingly show you are laying down roots to stay in the UK. this does not affect nhs care, it's just for benefits e.g. UC.

My question was specifically about the NHS because OP mentioned it and my understanding is that there is no 3 month wait to show that you are habitually resident for the NHS.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/02/2026 21:41

Barney16 · 11/02/2026 19:43

This happened to a friend of mine, in that they came back from overseas and struggled to find a place to rent. UK citizen, born here but lived abroad for a long time. In the end they paid six months rent up front for a rental.

I lived abroad for ten years, came back looking for a shared house. Quite a few were willing to have me. Some were all housemates, but a few had a live in landlord or landlady and this was without a job or being immediately eligible for job seekers allowance.

ToeSucker · 11/02/2026 21:38

Gwenhwyfar · 11/02/2026 21:35

Where does this 3 months come from? It used to be that you were eligible for free NHS treatment as long as you were going to be resident for at least 6 months. When I came back from abroad, I was eligible straight away. It's based on residence not previous tax payments.

yes you have to be habitually resident. in some situations you are habitually resident straight away e.g. if you are deported from the US or something. however if you are living in an EU country as a UK citizen you have to convincingly show you are laying down roots to stay in the UK. this does not affect nhs care, it's just for benefits e.g. UC.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/02/2026 21:35

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:46

I understand that. As I've said a few times I can cope with the ~3 months working up to habitual residence being spent on my sofa. There just seems to be no way off it. She is UK citizen and previously resident (grew up here). She has a GP, bank account etc.

Where does this 3 months come from? It used to be that you were eligible for free NHS treatment as long as you were going to be resident for at least 6 months. When I came back from abroad, I was eligible straight away. It's based on residence not previous tax payments.

bowlingalleyblues · 11/02/2026 21:33

Look at private lodgings, sites like open rent or spare room. They are private homes not tenancies with agents and the owners can take whoever they like the look of as long as they have the right to be in the UK, but owners could still provide a contract/agreement proving residency. You and your mum could help with the rent.

ToeSucker · 11/02/2026 21:30

ScaryM0nster · 11/02/2026 21:00

It’s against the terms of some landlord insurance policies, particularly those that provide cover for loss of rental income.

Not all.

But fundamentally, if as a family you’re not willing to look into the administratively difficult stuff then yes the only solution is your living room.

what more looking in do you think they should do

Gwenhwyfar · 11/02/2026 21:29

I got a room in a shared house without a job. No credit check either.

notatinydancer · 11/02/2026 21:19

RawBloomers · 11/02/2026 17:23

Edited as update from OP makes it sound like she isn't a citizen which makes my comment inapplicable.

Edited

She is a UK citizen. She has been abroad for 4 years.

Nopayrise · 11/02/2026 21:07

Bit wild and maybe not possible but could you start a business and employ her?!

ScaryM0nster · 11/02/2026 21:00

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:59

No it's not law but it's against the terms of landlord insurance. So they have to take you without insurance.

It’s against the terms of some landlord insurance policies, particularly those that provide cover for loss of rental income.

Not all.

But fundamentally, if as a family you’re not willing to look into the administratively difficult stuff then yes the only solution is your living room.

rockingroller · 11/02/2026 20:22

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 20:14

Can only claim enough UC to cover rent if she already has a tenancy.

Oh God, what a nightmare.

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 20:18

nomas · 11/02/2026 20:16

Thanks. Do people near retirement have to also be actively applying for jobs?

Yes

OP posts:
nomas · 11/02/2026 20:16

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:58

If they don't have a tenancy they can get UC but not housing allowance. It's £396 a month which is completely reasonable if you have no bills. They need to show they are applying for jobs or signed off sick by a GP to get it, yes. And they still get it if near retirement yes.

Thanks. Do people near retirement have to also be actively applying for jobs?

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 20:14

rockingroller · 11/02/2026 20:07

I don't know but Shelter could probably advise her. If she can eventually claim UC that would cover her rent, it doens't have to be employment income.

Edited

Can only claim enough UC to cover rent if she already has a tenancy.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 11/02/2026 20:12

It is not the case that you need proof of income.

if she was wanting to rent on her own, absolutely.

but there are other options.

lodger - spareroom.com has listings for rooms in shared houses or owner occupied houses who are letting out a single room.

open rent is also good for direct landlord renting not through estate agents.

rockingroller · 11/02/2026 20:07

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:29

I have been told HMOs are the same now, need proof of employment, due to new changes in tenancy law.

I don't know but Shelter could probably advise her. If she can eventually claim UC that would cover her rent, it doens't have to be employment income.

Notafanofheat · 11/02/2026 20:04

Could your sister look into being a lodger with someone? I reckon the rules/insurance etc can be somewhat different so she might be able to find something without having a proof of income but she should then still be able to get housing element from UC.

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 20:00

Barney16 · 11/02/2026 19:43

This happened to a friend of mine, in that they came back from overseas and struggled to find a place to rent. UK citizen, born here but lived abroad for a long time. In the end they paid six months rent up front for a rental.

We would have done that but 6 months upfront is no longer legal. Only proof of income plus guarantor now. I have many friends who had to do 6 months upfront years ago.

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:59

ScaryM0nster · 11/02/2026 19:48

Give Shelter a call.

I’m pretty sure your perception about it being impossible to rent without own job is wrong. Individual agents may have that policy, but it’s not law.

No it's not law but it's against the terms of landlord insurance. So they have to take you without insurance.

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:58

nomas · 11/02/2026 19:43

Thanks. Do they only get UC after getting a job? Or do they just have to show they are actively applying for work? And is it the same for people near retirement age?

If they don't have a tenancy they can get UC but not housing allowance. It's £396 a month which is completely reasonable if you have no bills. They need to show they are applying for jobs or signed off sick by a GP to get it, yes. And they still get it if near retirement yes.

OP posts:
ScaryM0nster · 11/02/2026 19:48

Give Shelter a call.

I’m pretty sure your perception about it being impossible to rent without own job is wrong. Individual agents may have that policy, but it’s not law.

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