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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the only way to give up my sitting room?

211 replies

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 16:30

Sister is abroad and has long covid. Moved over to an EU country for work 4 years ago and has been ill for nearly 2 years. Unable to work and ineligible for benefits in that country. Lost job and decided she has to come home for support.

Unfortunately there isn't a place for her to stay long term aside from my open plan sitting room diner on the sofa.

She will probably need to go on benefits for a while and will need to pass habitual residence etc. The problem is it looks like she will either need to be "street homeless" and be put up in a hostel or sleep on my sofa and basically take over my small home which is already crowded. We were hoping that my mum (who's in supported living) acting as a solid guarantor would help her get a private rental but I'm reading that won't be enough. I've even been told she won't be able to get a room in a house share.

AIBU to feel like this is horrendous? We've all always worked until my sister got unwell.

OP posts:
HoratioBum · 12/02/2026 05:53

As a UK citizen there won’t be as many hurdles to jump, but on returning she must immediately register with a GP, get assessed and ask for a letter of support once they have seen her. Because she has family in the area, who have presumably lived there more than 5 years, she will be considered to have a local connection.

Make sure she has all paperwork from previous doctors to support the claim of long covid. And I mean ALL. You can’t be too over prepared on this front.

Keep copies of end of tenancy agreements to prove she has left the EU country where she has been- get a letter from landlord to confirm if possible.

Keep documentation regarding travel i.e tickets and visas

Open a bank account in the UK, get copies of opening statement and also print out 6 months history from her previous banks.

Get a copy of her birth certificate. Make sure she has her passport.

All this can be done using your address and can be changed later.

Lack of preparedness with regards to paperwork is the SINGLE biggest reason for delay when it comes to engaging with your local councils housing department.

Present as homeless to your local council. Take a letter signed by you or your mum to say you refuse to house her.

She WILL be placed in Temporary Accommodation. She might not be in your district - ours houses people in adjacent council areas or wherever there is space. Given how much support she has for her medical condition, she may be considered priority need with regards to how soon she will be found permanent housing.

All this can be happening while she is going through Habitual Residency

She can start an application for UC and housing benefit. ( it will be HB not the Housing element of UC as she will be in TA). This will run alongside her Habitual Residency period and payments will be backdated. The application for UC will trigger the Habitual Residency test interview.

Hope this is helpful. I work for a local authority and alongside its housing department.

NameChangeElaine · 12/02/2026 05:34

YOUR DSIS DOES NOT NEED A TENANCY

Your DSis needs to find a room as a lodger (with a written lodger agreement) as the new rules being introduced in May are for tenants only and DO NOT apply to lodgers as they are technically classed as excluded occupiers; lodgers also CAN claim the housing element of UC as well.

We would have done that but 6 months upfront is no longer legal

This DOES NOT apply to lodgers and is only true for tenants, there are actually no restrictions for lodgers and it’s perfectly legal for a live in landlord to ask for the full term’s worth of rent in advance if they so wish. Since you / your DSis are able to pay 6 month rent in advance, I’d recommend finding lodgings with a 6 month agreement (loads about), pre-paying the full term (they’re more likely to take your DSis if you do) and then at the end of the 6 months, your DSis can apply to UC for help with her rent going forward (it then moves to a rolling agreement).

Obviously there are drawbacks to being a lodger rather than a tenant but it’ll get your sister started at least.

HelenaWaiting · 12/02/2026 05:28

Burningbud1981 · 11/02/2026 16:39

Just to point out she won’t be entitled to any assistance from the council until shes passed the HRT ( which she probably won’t pass unless she can work ) and she has priority need

Edited

She doesn't need to work to pass HRT if she can show family ties and intention to settle.

GarlicBound · 12/02/2026 04:52

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:46

I understand that. As I've said a few times I can cope with the ~3 months working up to habitual residence being spent on my sofa. There just seems to be no way off it. She is UK citizen and previously resident (grew up here). She has a GP, bank account etc.

DO CHECK WITH SHELTER but I think sofa-surfing with family is not counted as 'housed'. It also doesn't count as urgent need, but you can tell 'Them' that your offer's strictly for three months only. She needs to get applying as soon as she's unpacked her bag - it's not easy but she'll get there.

So sorry for her, and you. The stress isn't going to be helping her health, is it 😢

Threewordsspecial · 12/02/2026 03:46

Sorry about this. Thought I read that your sister had a good job and saved to buy a property? Can’t she just buy now? Sorrry if missed something.

also if stays in bed 20 hours on some days abs is ‘unwell’ can’t she go straight to hospital when she arrives and present herself homeless from hospital bed or upon discharge? Sorry if I again missed something. You say she attempted to go back to work 3 x but also it sounds like she really is unwell? How is she planning g in looking die work / job seeking when unwell.

Q to those who work in this field: where have I read a returning uk citizen needs to be here for 2 years to qualify for housing ?!

caringcarer · 12/02/2026 02:03

If your sister is single I believe UC housing benefit will only cover the cost of a single room in a shared house. Local authorities have a set rate. If she gets residency she could claim that. Anyone can apply for a room in a shared house if on UC and passed residency and landlords of HMO's often accept people in receipt of UC housing element. It's much harder to get accepted by a landlord for a flat or house.

RawBloomers · 12/02/2026 01:35

DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 01:27

Not until he passes Habitual Right to Remain.

I think you mean Habitual Residency Test. Which is a lot different from demonstrating a right to remain!

DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 01:27

ffsnewusername · 11/02/2026 23:06

So she was born here and unable to get housing?

My uncle is coming back after living in Canada for 20 years, he won’t be entitled to a thing will he?

Not until he passes Habitual Right to Remain.

Friendlygingercat · 12/02/2026 01:11

What about charities like the Salvation Army who have hostels? A relative had a friend staying in his spare room. However he was able to show a local connection as he was born in this city. His mother remarried and there was a family bust up. He got a place in a sally army hostel. Yes it was strict (only allowed to stay elsewhere 2 nights a week) but they showed him how to bid for LA houses/flats. and supported him After about a year in the hostel he got a small \ha flat and is still living there. The sally army also helped him sort out his benefit entitlements. That was 3 years ago and he is still in the HA flat. The young man in question has ADHD and bipolar but is sounds like your sister is vulnerable and there may be charities who can help

DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 01:03

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:19

Thank you. The problem is apparently she would then need to stay in a women's hostel for up to years which would potentially be unsafe and we find it difficult to accept putting her in that situation, especially as she's ill.

She may be placed in a hostel but it will more than likely be mixed. A women’s only hostel would be for DV victims etc.

DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 00:54

You can’t rent somewhere that you will not be living in.

DysmalRadius · 12/02/2026 00:43

This doesn't help with the UC/habitual residence/landlord insurance stuff, but purely in terms of 'creating' space for her to stay, do you have room/funds for a caravan that she could live in to at least take the pressure off you and your living space?

Verytall · 12/02/2026 00:09

NotThisAgain1987 · 11/02/2026 23:54

I work in the sector. This isn't true. She will be helped, she just won't score many points for long term housing. I've sent single men to b&bs bedsits etc many times

I said it was very unlikely, and it is, in most areas. I worked in temp accomm years back and we used to have enough space that most single adults presenting as genuinely homeless with no debt or ASB issues could get emergency accommodation in a council run hostel, and be able to stay until they took on a private rent.
I have friends who still work for the same accommodation, and now someone single and street homeless will at a push be accommodated for one or two nights if there is space in a hostel, and they're assessment/non priority determination will be turned around in 24-72 hours, and with it, they'll be given notice to leave. If the council hostels are full, they won't put a single person in a b&b*, as they're spending too much money on them. They will refer them to a scheme in the nearest big city that aims to prevent people being street homeless and supposedly guarantees them a roof over their head, but it's not what it sounds like - it'll either be a bed in a charity direct access hostel, which (and I'm sorry I don't mean to be judgemental on this) is really only suitable if you're a chronic drug user, as thats the situation for most people in them and the hostels have the associated issues of crime, violence and vulnerability. The alternative to the DA hostels are the 'safe spaces' to keep people off the streets, but it's not a bed, it's a place to go indoors overnight with chairs to sit on an access to a bathroom.
We're not in London/SE, this is a common situation. A neighbouring authority is worse, they give single people one way train tickets to the north east and tell them to go there because it's cheaper to find somewhere to live!

*unless they are likely to meet priority duty for the reasons I mentioned previously

Dutchhouse14 · 12/02/2026 00:08

Im not an expert but a close friends mother and sister, both separately and at different times, did sleep on sofa of afamily member whilst on housing list. (They turned down hostels)eventually they were housed by council but took a long time about a year.
Both had health issues and the mum was a pensioner, both had always lived in uk.
It was a horrible process they were both told to refuse to move out of their rented flats and let the landlord evict them, rather than leave as landlord wanted to sell house and gave them notice, didnt renew tenancy. But they refused to wait to be evicted. Was told that they made themselves intentionally homeless as they moved outbl when tenancy ended! But somehow it all worked out in the end but did take about a year.
Sleeping on sofa is far from ideal and a difficult situation but couldnt have a relative in a door way or park bench.
She needs to speak to CAB or shelter or get professiinal advice from somewhere .
I hope it all works out

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 00:03

NotThisAgain1987 · 11/02/2026 23:39

Guarantors need to own property and often over a certain amount a year and will need to provide bank statements.

She would be classed as homeless if she was sleeping on your sofa but would likely get placed in a b&b. You'll also need to check if she's eligible for benefits as being out of the country can effect that

She will be eligible for UC after a few weeks to months. As I said we have factored this in.

OP posts:
NotThisAgain1987 · 11/02/2026 23:54

Verytall · 11/02/2026 23:48

I don't know how many times this has to be said on this thread but:

She won't be eligible for any type of homeless accomodation, whether hostel, b&b, charity etc, if she's ineligible for public funds

If she does pass HRT and is eligible for public funds, as a single adult without dependents, she is very unlikely to be given any type of emergency homeless accomodation, even if long term sick. Councils can, and do, leave people street homeless and only offer them 'advice' about how to rent privately. The reason so many mumsnetters assume that b&bs are always offered is because they're offered to families with children, because they can't legally leave children on the streets. Councils are massively over spending on emergency accommodation for families, they're not going to provide beds for anyone they don't legally have to.

I work in the sector. This isn't true. She will be helped, she just won't score many points for long term housing. I've sent single men to b&bs bedsits etc many times

Verytall · 11/02/2026 23:48

NotThisAgain1987 · 11/02/2026 23:39

Guarantors need to own property and often over a certain amount a year and will need to provide bank statements.

She would be classed as homeless if she was sleeping on your sofa but would likely get placed in a b&b. You'll also need to check if she's eligible for benefits as being out of the country can effect that

I don't know how many times this has to be said on this thread but:

She won't be eligible for any type of homeless accomodation, whether hostel, b&b, charity etc, if she's ineligible for public funds

If she does pass HRT and is eligible for public funds, as a single adult without dependents, she is very unlikely to be given any type of emergency homeless accomodation, even if long term sick. Councils can, and do, leave people street homeless and only offer them 'advice' about how to rent privately. The reason so many mumsnetters assume that b&bs are always offered is because they're offered to families with children, because they can't legally leave children on the streets. Councils are massively over spending on emergency accommodation for families, they're not going to provide beds for anyone they don't legally have to.

NotThisAgain1987 · 11/02/2026 23:39

forcedtonamechange · 11/02/2026 16:37

I’m sure your mum could be a guarantor, she doesn’t have to declare her health, just sign something

sorry, what a shite situation x

Guarantors need to own property and often over a certain amount a year and will need to provide bank statements.

She would be classed as homeless if she was sleeping on your sofa but would likely get placed in a b&b. You'll also need to check if she's eligible for benefits as being out of the country can effect that

oviraptor21 · 11/02/2026 23:32

OP - please contact Shelter or Citizens Advice. You have been given lots of misinformation and half truths. Please talk to someone who knows what they are talking about.

Verytall · 11/02/2026 23:17

regista · 11/02/2026 23:09

I would perhaps explore spare room or similar to find someone looking for a lodger. In many ways your sister is ideal, likely to be quiet and keep to her room a lot. A private individual is more likely to accept your mum as guarantor. Not saying it will be smooth sailing but worth exploring.

Lots of posts on here saying she should get lodgings or a house share, but her sister can only go for those if she can pass the HRT, be eligible for housing benefit and then find someone who is willing to accept a lodger on UC. That's not easy!

Verytall · 11/02/2026 23:14

ffsnewusername · 11/02/2026 23:06

So she was born here and unable to get housing?

My uncle is coming back after living in Canada for 20 years, he won’t be entitled to a thing will he?

They will definitely struggle after being out of the country that long. The difficulty with the HRT is that it's subjective, and quite hard to prove that you're here permanently, rather than as a temporary stop gap, especially if you've been away for a long time - because naturally if you have, you'll have fewer and fewer links/responsibilities here that you could use to prove that you're staying.

Bear in mind though that even if someone passes the HRT, if they're a healthy single adult then the best they're likely to get re housing is being eligible to apply for benefits to help with the cost of rent. For people without dependent children, their needs have to be pretty exceptional to get any type of homeless accomodation. Only very serious/specific health conditions (eg undergoing cancer treatment, diabetes as you need a fridge to store insulin), a significantly learning disability, being a veteran, being a care leaver, etc - that list isn't exhaustive but to give an idea. Most single people are signposted to benefits agencies and houseshare websites.

regista · 11/02/2026 23:09

I would perhaps explore spare room or similar to find someone looking for a lodger. In many ways your sister is ideal, likely to be quiet and keep to her room a lot. A private individual is more likely to accept your mum as guarantor. Not saying it will be smooth sailing but worth exploring.

ffsnewusername · 11/02/2026 23:06

So she was born here and unable to get housing?

My uncle is coming back after living in Canada for 20 years, he won’t be entitled to a thing will he?

Verytall · 11/02/2026 22:50

OP have you spoken to the local council homeless team about 'proof of income'? I'll be honest I'm not fully up to date with the changes, but I'd be surprised if what you say is correct, because it literally means no one on benefits could ever get housing.

I used to work in hostels and temp housing, and we would say we needed proof of income to accept someone. But proof of income in practice either meant proof of earnings, or proof that they would be eligible for benefits. The latter meant proof of citizenship & having ID, as if they had those, we knew they could apply for benefits from the start date of the tenancy. It would mean a delay in us receiving the payment, but we could take them on if we knew it would come through.

In your sister's case, if she passes the HRT then I would think she could claim UC (without the housing element). If she has that in place, LLs would know that she would then be eligible for housing element. As you'll probably be aware most estate agents aren't interested in UC tenants, but councils will often work with LLs with HMOs who will take people on UC. The risks for the LL are offset by the cost saving of not having to advertise for and vet tenants.

I know you've mentioned your mum can be a guarantor but you can also pay a company to be a guarantor, it's such a common requirement now that companies sell it almost like buying an insurance policy with them.

latenightrobinsong · 11/02/2026 22:40

I’m not sure how old your sister is OP but Age uk have a fact sheet which you might find helpful

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/siteassets/documents/factsheets/fs25_returning_from_abroad_fcs.pdf

Also to add UC and Housing Benefit are two separate benefits. If you get UC you get housing element for rent costs, if you don’t get UC then you would apply for Housing Benefit for rent costs.

Income proof for applying to rent could be benefits as in UC not just wages and that you would then make an application for housing benefit / housing element or UC once you have accommodation and been given a tenancy.

To rent either through private landlord or social housing you need to prove the right to rent. This is not the same as the habitual residence test. That is more having recourse to public funds, such as benefits and social housing etc rather than specific to renting.

I would suggest contacting the homelessness team at your local council and seeing if you can have an appointment with them as they will be able to explain all the options and how things work.

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