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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the only way to give up my sitting room?

211 replies

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 16:30

Sister is abroad and has long covid. Moved over to an EU country for work 4 years ago and has been ill for nearly 2 years. Unable to work and ineligible for benefits in that country. Lost job and decided she has to come home for support.

Unfortunately there isn't a place for her to stay long term aside from my open plan sitting room diner on the sofa.

She will probably need to go on benefits for a while and will need to pass habitual residence etc. The problem is it looks like she will either need to be "street homeless" and be put up in a hostel or sleep on my sofa and basically take over my small home which is already crowded. We were hoping that my mum (who's in supported living) acting as a solid guarantor would help her get a private rental but I'm reading that won't be enough. I've even been told she won't be able to get a room in a house share.

AIBU to feel like this is horrendous? We've all always worked until my sister got unwell.

OP posts:
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justasmallbiz · 15/02/2026 15:41

Zippedydodah · 12/02/2026 07:06

Who on earth is going to employ someone who spends 20 hours a day asleep because they’re too poorly to do anything else?

I tend to not tell employers the things that make them not hire me.

Threewordsspecial · 13/02/2026 19:42

Twingoo · 13/02/2026 12:02

OK. I was trying to understand why this situation seems insurmountable.

It isn’t.

Its that just you as a family want her to be able to jump the emergency accommodation step?

That’s understandable from a personal preference perspective but you are unable to finance that choice.

I have worked with homelessness for a county and you would be surprised how comfortable many e-rooms are. Most are premier inn type hotels. The ones designed for women and children are much better. I agree the all male ones can be grim but IME it’s the clients (unresolved addiction / unsupported MH issues) rather than the accommodation and even then the rooms are good standard.

I would move down this pathway. You can look at how many nights she needs to stay consecutively in the e accommodation so might be able to break up her week if it was difficult for her - but IME in the female and children facilities it’s not.

Agree the situation. Is not insurmountable. But op’s preferences as a family are what make this sound like it is.

yes, not ideal.

Ocelotfeet27 · 13/02/2026 19:24

Can she not just apply for jobs when she gets here, one with the option of a remote interview from home/WFH option, start the job, then get a tenancy, then go off on sick leave or resign? Use the initial proof of income to get the tenancy then you can pay her rent afterwards until housing support comes through?

Twingoo · 13/02/2026 12:02

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:19

Thank you. The problem is apparently she would then need to stay in a women's hostel for up to years which would potentially be unsafe and we find it difficult to accept putting her in that situation, especially as she's ill.

OK. I was trying to understand why this situation seems insurmountable.

It isn’t.

Its that just you as a family want her to be able to jump the emergency accommodation step?

That’s understandable from a personal preference perspective but you are unable to finance that choice.

I have worked with homelessness for a county and you would be surprised how comfortable many e-rooms are. Most are premier inn type hotels. The ones designed for women and children are much better. I agree the all male ones can be grim but IME it’s the clients (unresolved addiction / unsupported MH issues) rather than the accommodation and even then the rooms are good standard.

I would move down this pathway. You can look at how many nights she needs to stay consecutively in the e accommodation so might be able to break up her week if it was difficult for her - but IME in the female and children facilities it’s not.

StealthyHealthy · 13/02/2026 10:30

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 21:48

Not handed notice in but we're in serious talks about next steps right now. She's in an EU country

Surely she needs to get cracking.. You said up thread she only has two months of money left? What is she waiting for!
Surely if she speaks to her current LL, she could offer the equivalent of notice in rent and leave immediately? She doesn't need to actually reside there for the notice period, surely. As long as it's all done above board, they inspect on closing the tenancy and agree all fine etc and she hands keys back.

She could literally be home by the end of the week?

LilyBunch25 · 13/02/2026 05:18

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:13

That's exactly the problem - you can't claim housing benefit if you don't have a house.
And you can't get a house if you claim housing benefit.

If we could get her into a private rental then housing benefit would cover it. But you can't have it if you don't already have a home.

Its not going to be housing benefit in any case. She would have to make a claim for UC with housing costs included. HB is only paid in certain circumstances, and if someone is working age, only if they are in specified accommodation. Possibly if she goes into temp accommodation it will be HB, otherwise, UC, and as you are already aware I think the habitual residence test will be an issue. Really needs to see a housing/benefits adviser.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 13/02/2026 04:10

If she moves in, she'll never move out. Beware.

Verytall · 12/02/2026 22:15

I've also just had a good read of the changes and advice about LL insurance, as you keep mentioning that as a reason.

  • LLs aren't legally required to have landlords insurance, though the mortgage lender may make it a condition of the mortgage
  • with the new rules coming in, there's greater financial risk to LLs, so the general advice is for them to be insured, including rent protection
  • one of the changes from May is that if mortgage lenders require landlords to have insurance, they're specifically banned from putting in clauses about not renting to people on UC, or people with pets - because to do so would be unlawful. If they do put it in the paperwork it'd be unenforceable

All of this means that the changes should make it easier for your sister to rent once she has benefits in place, not harder

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/news_and_updates/ten_key_changes_to_renters_rights

www.gov.uk/government/publications/universal-credit-and-rented-housing--2/universal-credit-and-rented-housing-guide-for-landlords#tenancy-and-rent-evidence

Shelter icon

Ten key changes to renters' rights - Shelter England

The team behind the Shelter Legal website share their top ten changes to look out for when the Renters' Rights Act comes into force from Spring 2026.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/news_and_updates/ten_key_changes_to_renters_rights

Verytall · 12/02/2026 21:57

Op you keep repeating that she can't get a tenancy/houseshare without ' proof of income' because she doesn't have an existing tenancy paid by UC.
I'm not sure how you're missing this, but lots of people can and do rent property on benefits, without having an existing tenancy paid for by UC. A common example would be someone leaving a relationship and needing to rent solo, so they had enough income as a couple but not when leaving. Or someone who has a child while still living with mum and dad and needs to move out.
Proof of income, for someone on benefits, is proof of their benefits. By being in receipt of benefits the LL knows that the tenant will be eligible for the housing element. As long as you find a LL who will accept someone on UC that's it. Most are understanding that UC pay in arrears, but if there's any scope for family to help her get the first month's rent and deposit together, that would help a lot. Some LLs for budget properties actually prefer tenants on UC because they know if there's problems with being paid that they can request UC pay the LL directly. Compared to renting someone on a low income who might not pay and they have no recourse other than to go through a lengthy eviction process.

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 21:48

EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 21:09

How far away is she? How much of a chore will it be to make her return? Has she handed in notice to current landlord?

Not handed notice in but we're in serious talks about next steps right now. She's in an EU country

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 21:47

zaramysaviour · 12/02/2026 21:07

Ask around re spare rooms - someone you know must have one they could rent out for a few months. If you can cover that, your sister can legimately say she's homeless, as the rent is only covered for three months. Any spare room would work - HMO, shared etc (although that'd be very stressy if she's unwell).

Once she's settled there, she presents as homeless to the local council. She can be housed relatively quickly if she applies for the loan for her first month's rent. Ofc she will need a landlord who will accept HB - again it depends on where you are. Most landlords in my (deprived) town will, and most estate agents work with that also.

I would put up any (non-abusive) person close to me for a few months while they get back on their feet. Even if I lived in a studio and I was popping champagne the second they left.

Problem is change to tenants law coming in in may. All different from then

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 21:46

Threewordsspecial · 12/02/2026 21:02

Thanks. This is it then. You are now told you can try to get her as a lodger with non relative or in hmo.

i still don’t get why if she is unwell, can present herself at a and e upon arrival.

A&E for what though? She's got exhaustion and pain. She has been to a&e many, many times before both here and in the country she's living in and never once admitted, always sent home after tests

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 21:44

Nearly50omg · 12/02/2026 21:01

She can get help from a food bank and the rest will only be temporary until UC takes on her housing application

Been told wait for council housing is probably years and I don't think she would be eligible as not spent 2 of last 3 years here

OP posts:
EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 21:09

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 20:59

About 2 months of money left

How far away is she? How much of a chore will it be to make her return? Has she handed in notice to current landlord?

zaramysaviour · 12/02/2026 21:07

Ask around re spare rooms - someone you know must have one they could rent out for a few months. If you can cover that, your sister can legimately say she's homeless, as the rent is only covered for three months. Any spare room would work - HMO, shared etc (although that'd be very stressy if she's unwell).

Once she's settled there, she presents as homeless to the local council. She can be housed relatively quickly if she applies for the loan for her first month's rent. Ofc she will need a landlord who will accept HB - again it depends on where you are. Most landlords in my (deprived) town will, and most estate agents work with that also.

I would put up any (non-abusive) person close to me for a few months while they get back on their feet. Even if I lived in a studio and I was popping champagne the second they left.

Threewordsspecial · 12/02/2026 21:02

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 20:49

Yes as I said we can help with a few months of rent to get her into a property.

The whole problem is not having proof of regular income for a tenancy.

We can pay for a few months but she has no ongoing income.

Without already being a tenant and having rental commitments, she would only receive £396 a month UC.

It's a catch 22.

The only option I see here after a few recent comments is that maybe she could be a lodger as she would then not need proof of regular income to cover the rent. Then she would have a tenancy as a lodger and be able to claim housing allowance for that.

Although others are now saying landlords wouldn't want to take an unwell person so we will have to see.

Thanks. This is it then. You are now told you can try to get her as a lodger with non relative or in hmo.

i still don’t get why if she is unwell, can present herself at a and e upon arrival.

Nearly50omg · 12/02/2026 21:01

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 19:12

Unfortunately UC without housing allowance is £396 a month which would have to cover rent, bills and food. She can have the regular £396 a month at the time of applying for a tenancy but I don't think £396 would cover rent bills and food anywhere in the country!

She can get help from a food bank and the rest will only be temporary until UC takes on her housing application

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 20:59

EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 20:51

How long has she got?

About 2 months of money left

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 12/02/2026 20:57

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 20:43

Exactly why she needs to get home as she's not eligible for support where she is.

Tell her to book assistance when she books her flight both ends and she will be ok

Nearly50omg · 12/02/2026 20:55

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:17

After 3 months on my sofa she would be eligible for NHS, basic UC and potentially lcwra. Just not housing. Ever.

That’s not correct - as a uk citizen who has only been away 4 years she will
be eligible for NHS treatment and will
be fine getting a shared room in a house - there are loads of private rentals who advertise online who won’t be looking for a full check like estate agents do

EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 20:51

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 20:43

Exactly why she needs to get home as she's not eligible for support where she is.

How long has she got?

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 20:49

Threewordsspecial · 12/02/2026 20:07

Op, I understand you have a lot to take in.

i thought you said 6 months rent upfront not an
option due to new law but yet when you have been told the new law doesn’t affect lodgers/ HMOs, again you say 365 per month is not enough.

Also you said mum could be a guarantor. Although none will accept that as sis needs to qualify as tenant as well.

my Q is, why can’t family use that money (would be 6 months upfront / mum guarantor ( you know guarantor means being able to cover rent when tenant can’t, right?) to find her lodging room or room in hmo from the start. You can then review in 5 months if sis still not having help with benefits at which point you will obv have to house her forever?

sorry if o am missing something as you said family wants sis in private rental. Or do you mean you want her in private rental as long as benefits can cover it? A bit confusing!

Edited

Yes as I said we can help with a few months of rent to get her into a property.

The whole problem is not having proof of regular income for a tenancy.

We can pay for a few months but she has no ongoing income.

Without already being a tenant and having rental commitments, she would only receive £396 a month UC.

It's a catch 22.

The only option I see here after a few recent comments is that maybe she could be a lodger as she would then not need proof of regular income to cover the rent. Then she would have a tenancy as a lodger and be able to claim housing allowance for that.

Although others are now saying landlords wouldn't want to take an unwell person so we will have to see.

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 20:43

EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 20:31

@Watdidusay if she’s not well enough to fly, what happens when the money she has runs out?

Exactly why she needs to get home as she's not eligible for support where she is.

OP posts:
EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 20:31

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 18:00

Yes that's the plan.
And tbh she'll have to be well enough. Might need a wheelchair if it's a bad day but we don't have a choice but to figure it out.

@Watdidusay if she’s not well enough to fly, what happens when the money she has runs out?

Threewordsspecial · 12/02/2026 20:07

Op, I understand you have a lot to take in.

i thought you said 6 months rent upfront not an
option due to new law but yet when you have been told the new law doesn’t affect lodgers/ HMOs, again you say 365 per month is not enough.

Also you said mum could be a guarantor. Although none will accept that as sis needs to qualify as tenant as well.

my Q is, why can’t family use that money (would be 6 months upfront / mum guarantor ( you know guarantor means being able to cover rent when tenant can’t, right?) to find her lodging room or room in hmo from the start. You can then review in 5 months if sis still not having help with benefits at which point you will obv have to house her forever?

sorry if o am missing something as you said family wants sis in private rental. Or do you mean you want her in private rental as long as benefits can cover it? A bit confusing!