Taking 3 year old daughter into Men’s Toilets

Were there no cubicles at all?

YANBU though.

How is the bar around fatherhood so low that people assume that a father out alone with his young daughter is a rare enough occurrence that using a disabled toilet can be justified!

Cubicle next time. I made the same mistake years ago, but wasn't faced with an angry nutter

Don't use the disabled, you're not disabled. The clue is in the name.

A cubicle may have been a better choice; but men's toilets often only have one or two cubicles, so there may not be one free.

However, contrary to how some women seem to be confused, urinals are against a wall and men use them by standing facing the wall - so unless somebody is really deliberately looking intently (which her dad could easily distract her from, and the men would probably angle themselves away from her view anyway), all you will see is a man's back.

Men don't have urinals as standard because they are all either exhibitionists or simply don't care about privacy when going for a wee; they use them because their biology enables them to easily do so with nothing private showing at all. Effectively, as far as privacy is concerned, a man's back is the equivalent of a cubicle door for a woman.

The only thing you did wrong was not calling the police.

Surely they would be using the disabled toilet?

I think you did very well to defuse a situation... when you encountered what sounds like a potentially violent and deranged thug.
Bringing your young child with you to the toilet is just normal.

This ^^
Disabled next time.

I would have taken her into a cubicle, but you did nothing wrong. You going into the ladies would have been an issue and wrong and she is too young to go into the ladies by herself.

I remember being really young and going in the male changing rooms at the swimming baths with my dad. I saw quite a few willys flapping about. It wasn't a big deal. I guess other options are cubicle, leave with member of staff, shout to bloke that your dd is there and you'll only be 30 secs.

I work in a building that has public toilets and because of the range of classes etc on offer we have loads of small people coming in with parents of either gender.
Ive seen Dads in your situation do 3 things

1. Knock on the door of the gents stick a head around and say they are bringing in their little girl, once inside they use the cubical (4 cubicles and a urinal)
2. Ask me to check the ladies is empty, take their daughter in and ask me to stand by the door to let any women about to enter know there is a bloke in there with his daughter.
3. Use the disabled toilet.

Any of the above are all perfectly reasonable, sadly the chap you encountered today was an idiot and if he had children probably never accompanied them to the loo.
If I’m out with my children (all boys) the two older ones (not quite teenagers) use the gents but go in as a pair and I stand outside the door. My youngest who is 6 comes in with me if his brothers aren’t with us or goes in with them into the gents if they are. When DH is with us they obviously all go to the gents…

He was a nutter.
You didn’t do anything wrong but I’d suggest taking her into a cubicle to shield her view next time and when leaving the cubicle just take a peak out to check everyone’s decent.

Why didn’t you go into a cubicle, op? What made you feel standing your toddler next to a row of urinals was a good idea?
The bloke sounded unnecessarily aggressive but like it or not he had a point. Were you going to leave her standing there while he had a piss??

I really do feel for dads. They can't do right for doing wrong. My DH had to change our baby on the floor of the men's loo once as there was no disabled toilet and no baby change facility in the men's loos.

The disabled toilet isn’t for carers actually though to be honest I know most disabled people are fine with it. Your husband is perhaps lucky he’s not a menstruating fifty year old woman with an adult male person (related or not) to support.

Another vote for a cubicle. But he sounds insane.

I’d have taken her into a cubicle, that’s what my dad always did with me. Apart from anything else it’s much easier to keep an eye on her, and she isn’t risking getting in the way of anybody else’s splashing.

You should have gone into a cubicle... That's all. Not a big deal tho

It's quite ironic that he was concerned about your little girl's safety whilst being aggressive himself and probably the biggest threat in there.

If it was your only option then fair enough, but agree with posters saying a cubicle is much better.

This is a him issue. Not a you issue

But that is what the disabled toilet is actually for ? If my husband is out with our disabled daughter that’s what he’d do .

Much better to risk a disabled person soiling themselves because someone is using the disabled toilet when they don’t need to.

in most places there is ONE toilet anyone with a disability to access (and often it doesn’t even meet the needs of a lot of disabled people) please don’t use it if you don’t need it.

He didn't need to feel uncomfortable, he could've just waited for a second. That said if there was a disabled loo available (they normally have the changing table in) dh would've used that to help dd feel less uncomfortable.

I mean the risk of her seeing a man's genitals while walking in or out